"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"You always get weirdos like Edward who seem to attract women for some reason. If Edward wasn’t a fictional character and you met him in reality he is like one of those guys who would probably be an axe murderer or something."
— Stephenie Meyer (The Twilight Saga)

"A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar."
— Carolyn G. Heilbrun

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
— Bill Watterson

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
— Ernest Hemingway

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."
— Garrison Keillor

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."
— Jane Austen

"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Inigo: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die. "
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric."
— Bertrand Russell

"Albus Severus," Harry said quietly, so that nobody but Ginny could hear, and she was tactful enough to pretend to be waving to Rose, who was now on the train, "you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there."
— Oscar Wilde

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
— Aldous Huxley

"The love of learning, the sequestered nooks,
And all the sweet serenity of books"
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers."
— Charles W. Eliot

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
— Rudyard Kipling

"Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a blank piece of paper until your forehead bleeds."
— Douglas Adams

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
— Orson Welles

"Humor is reason gone mad."
— Groucho Marx

"THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. We are here to help you.
2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3. The dress code will be enforced.
4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
6. We expect more of you here.
7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8. Your schedule was created with you in mind.
9. Your locker combination is private.
10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3. Students must stay on campus during lunch.
4. The new text books will arrive any day now.
5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
6. We are enforcing the dress code.
7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9. There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10. We want to hear what you have to say."
— Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak)

""Because there are mysteries. Because there are things that people are forbidden to speak about. Because there are things they do not remember." "
— Neil Gaiman (The Graveyard Book)

"trallalala"
— Dav Pilkey (Ricky Ricotta's Mighty Robot Vs. The Jurassic Jackrabbits From Jupiter)

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the
face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the
oranges you originally asked for."
— Cassandra Clare

"I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

"'...Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?'
Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
"Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.""
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

"Lord Voldermort Has Risen Again."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)