"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it 'The Present'."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
— Charles M. Schulz

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
— Robert Frost

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

"Writers block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."
— Steve Martin

"THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. We are here to help you.
2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3. The dress code will be enforced.
4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
6. We expect more of you here.
7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8. Your schedule was created with you in mind.
9. Your locker combination is private.
10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3. Students must stay on campus during lunch.
4. The new text books will arrive any day now.
5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
6. We are enforcing the dress code.
7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9. There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10. We want to hear what you have to say."
— Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak)

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

"Never interrupt someone doing something you said couldn't be done."
— Amelia Earhart

""I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.""
— Amelia Earhart

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

""I did for the fun of it""
— Amelia Earhart (20 Hours, 40 Min: Our Flight in the Friendship)

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."
— Steve Martin

"... you're nuts but you're welcome here."
— Steve Martin

"We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday."
— Steve Martin

"I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden."
— Steve Martin

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

"Wow I can't belive I won,
This is awesome,
Don't trip and fall,
I'm gonna get to thank the fans,
This is so cool,
Oh kany'e west is here,
Cool haircut,
What are ya doing there...
Ouch...
I guess I'm not gonna get to thank the fans"
— Taylor Swift

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

"If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you."
— Steve Martin

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

"Some people have a way with words....some people....not have way."
— Steve Martin (Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life)

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

"Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything."
— Steve Martin

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
— Mahatma Gandhi

"You always get weirdos like Edward who seem to attract women for some reason. If Edward wasn’t a fictional character and you met him in reality he is like one of those guys who would probably be an axe murderer or something."
— Stephenie Meyer (The Twilight Saga)

"Without music, life would be a mistake."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
— Thomas A. Edison

"Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere."
— Albert Einstein

""Of course, any map of the Place would be shocking to anyone with any understanding of geography. As you can see, this is a map of no earthly geography." -Grace Tiebold"
— Elizabeth Knox

"Since when have you become Mr. Maturity?"
— Michael Buckley (Tales From the Hood)

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
— Edmund Burke

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
— Mark Twain

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
— John Lennon

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
— Mark Twain

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
— Robert A. Heinlein