Erica's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 225)

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

tags: humor, work
3,745 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,652 people liked it

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
— Terry Pratchett (Diggers)

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
2,980 people liked it

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people
3,185 people liked it

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."
— Rita Mae Brown

tags: humor, insanity
2,502 people liked it

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, health, humor, misprints
2,391 people liked it

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, sinister
2,037 people liked it

"Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"
— Albert Einstein

tags: creativity, humor
1,988 people liked it

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
— Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time)

tags: humor
1,787 people liked it

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, writing
1,553 people liked it

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
— Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity
1,690 people liked it

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
— Groucho Marx

tags: humor, time
1,510 people liked it

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."
— Douglas Adams

tags: humor, perspective, science
1,029 people liked it

"Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car."
— G.K. Chesterton

tags: car, funny, humor, religious
1,169 people liked it

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
— George Carlin

tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
1,382 people liked it

"First sign of madness, talking to your own head."
— J.K. Rowling

tags: insanity, maddness
58 people liked it

"Mad hatter: how is a raven like a writing desk?
*squabble*
Alice: so how IS a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: I haven't the slightest idea."
— Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)

tags: alice-in-wonderland, insanity, madness
53 people liked it

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
— Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor
402 people liked it

"Calvin (to Suzy)- You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"
— Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, comic, funny, school
224 people liked it

"I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out."
— Michael Scott

tags: funny, humor, office
222 people liked it

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?"
— Chris Rock

tags: comedy, everyday, funny, humor, life, observational
516 people liked it

"Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who i was."
— D.J. MacHale

tags: funny
151 people liked it

"Do you ever think if poeple heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"
"All the time.""
— Wendy Mass (Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life)

tags: always, dd, fink, flotsam, funny, humor, i, jeremy, jetsam, keys, lizzy, mass, right, think, true, wendy, what
171 people liked it

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it"
— George Carlin

tags: america, dream, funny, humor, wealth
175 people liked it

"Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc...and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."
— Douglas Adams

tags: humour
2,021 people liked it

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
— Albert Einstein

356 people liked it

"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."
— Charles Bukowski

tags: atheism, religion
273 people liked it

"'I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.'

'A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.'"
— Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray)

tags: beauty, enemies, friends, intellect, looks
152 people liked it

"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing."
— Elie Wiesel

tags: deep, friendship, life, love, obsession, sharing
236 people liked it

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
12,087 people liked it

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
— Maya Angelou

tags: life
11,256 people liked it

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: dreams, love, reality, sleep
10,437 people liked it

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."
— Elie Wiesel

tags: activism, apathy, hate, indifference, love, opposite, philosophy
7,177 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,594 people liked it

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: women
7,019 people liked it

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Apple Computer Inc.

tags: advertising, apple, change, commercial, computers, different, madness, misfits, nonconformity, progressive, quo, rebels, status, think, troublemakers
7,036 people liked it

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

tags: friendship
7,449 people liked it

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: darkness, drive-out, hate, inspirational, light, love, peace
6,965 people liked it

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
— William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

tags: wisdom
6,392 people liked it

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

tags: deadlines, humor, work
5,351 people liked it

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
— Albert Einstein

tags: inspirational, life, live, miracle, miracles
5,791 people liked it

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
— Bessie Anderson Stanley

4,806 people liked it

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,672 people liked it

"Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
Eddie DeChooch"
— Janet Evanovich (Seven Up)

tags: humor
367 people liked it

"It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer."
— Albert Einstein

tags: intelligence, learning, wisdom
116 people liked it

"I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues."
— Franklin D. Roosevelt

tags: funny, humor, politics, usa
48 people liked it

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
— George Carlin

tags: humor
361 people liked it

"The line between failure and success is so fine. . . that we are often on the line and do not know it."
— Elbert Hubbard

tags: success
12 people liked it

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: life, pain
640 people liked it

"People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobodies worries about kids listening to thousands - literally thousands - of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss."
— Nick Hornby (High Fidelity)

tags: music, sad
456 people liked it

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