"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. "
— Dennis Miller

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."
— Mahatma Gandhi

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."
— Elie Wiesel

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
— John Lennon

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
— William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

"I get to go overseas places, like Canada."
— Britney Spears

"I don't have pet peeves like some people. I have whole kennels of irritation."
— Whoopi Goldberg

"I sat up. Slowly. Between the belly dancing, the fire, the visit to Dave and it's aftermath, the night had taken its toll.
"You look like crap!" Cole said merrily. "I like the hair though."
He made a camera frame with his thumbs and forefingers and in the genie voice from Aladdin said, "Now what does this say to me? Homeless women? Tornado victim? Britney Spears? I've got it! Preschooler who's misplaced her gum!"
I regarded him balefully. "You're a morning person, aren't you?"
"You make that sound like a bad thing."
"Not if you stop talking.""
— Jennifer Rardin (Another One Bites the Dust)

"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."
— Britney Spears

"The irony, I'm eating a booby's [as in the bird] breast."
— The Survivor Man

""Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.

Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.

Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.

~

"You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"

Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.

His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings."

"Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"

"Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly.

Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it." ...

... "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."

~

Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."

Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"

"Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"...

~

Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."

~

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked."
— James Patterson

"They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing.
"Okay," said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned.
"That can be his Indian name," I suggested."
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

""I can talk to fish!" Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner," Fang said, joining us."
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"You're heavy have you been eating rocks"

-Fang

"Why, is your head missing some?"

-max"
— James Patterson

"At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall."
— James Patterson

"I'm not Stubborn; I'm right!"
— Maximum Ride

"Oh no! Don't drag us away from Antartica and take us to the playground of the rich and famous! Not that briar patch! -Max"
— James Patterson (The Final Warning)

""Right now, America looks like a fatheaded, shortsighted, gas-guzzling arrogant blowhard to the rest of the world." "
— James Patterson Maximum Ride "The Final Warning"

"3780
"'Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?' "
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports) "
— James Patterson

"They [Erasers] were bad fliers," Angel chimed in, "And in their minds, they weren't all kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, remember to flap!"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"SITTING TIGHT? Holing up? Waiting for answers?
Those are things I'm not good at.
Planning a massive attack against mechanical geeky-like things when i was already furious and itching to kill something?
Piece o'cake

Maximum Ride"
— James Patterson (Max)

""Don't ever leave me again." -Max
"I won't. I won't not ever." -Fang"
— James Patterson

""Pick a tree. I'll carve our initials into it." -Fang"
— James Patterson

"Maximum Ride
I don't damsel well distress I can damseling not so much"
— James Patterson

"I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine!
-random kid talking to Ari"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"Ari smiled. The sun was shining, the weather was great, he was eating icecream, and all his dreams were about to come true."
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"Except fang. I glared at him. "Go on, try to stop me, I dare you." It was like the old days when we used to wrestle, each trying to get the better of the other. I was ready to take him down, my hands curled into fist. "I was just going to say be careful," Fang told me. He stepped closer and brushed some hair out of my eyes. "And I've got your back." He motioned with his head toward the torpedo chamber. Oh my God. It hit me like a tsunami then, how perfect he was for me, how no one else would ever, could ever, be so perfect for me, how he was everything I could possibly hope for, as a friend, boyfriend, maybe even more. He was it for me. There would be no more looking. I really, really loved him, with a whole new kind of love I'd never felt before, something that made every other kind of love I'd ever felt feel washed out and wimpy in comparison. I loved him with every cell in my body, every thought in my head, every feather in my wings, every breathe in my lungs. and air sacs. Too bad I was going out to face almost certain death. Right there in front of everyone, I threw my arms around his neck and smashed my mouth against his. He was startled for a second, then his strong arms wrapped around me so tightly I could hardly breathe. "ZOMG," I heard Nudge whisper, but still fang and I kissed slanting our heads this way and that to get closer. I could have stood there and kissed him happily for the next millennium, but Angel, or what was left of her was still out there in the could dark ocean. Reluctantly, I ended the kiss, took a step back. Fang's obsidian eyes were glittering brightly and his stoic face had a look of wonder on it."Gotta go," I said quietly. A half smile quirked his mouth. "Yeah. Hurry back." I nodded and he stepped out of the air lock chamber, keeping his eyes fixed on me, memorizing me as he hit the switch that sealed the chamber. The doors hissed shut with a kind of finality, and I realized that my heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to start snapping ribs. I was scared. I was crazily, deeply, incredibly, joyously, terrifyingly in love. I was on a death mission. Before my head simply exploded from so much emotion, I hit the large button that pressurized the air lock enough for the doors to open to the ocean outside. I really, really hoped that I would prove somewhat uncrushable, like Angel did. The door cracked open below me and I saw the first dark glint of frigid water."
— James Patterson (Maximum Ride)

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
— George W. Bush

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
— Mother Teresa

"Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice."
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

"“Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule.”"
— James Patterson (The Angel Experiment)

"“Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“Right away.”
“How?” I persisted. “We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?”
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. “She offered to cook breakfast.'"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"'You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. 'We're...freaking...ballet...dancers.'"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

" Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely.
Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha.
"
— James Patterson

"“We’ll be back!” he snarled.
It was really Ari’s voice.
“Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to,” said Fang
"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night"
— James Patterson

"That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.
"You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't FAIR, Dean....Nothing is fair, EVER. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE.""
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"My mom had a soft heart after all! Instead of being chained by both wrists, we were only chained by one ankle!
I mean, if I’d been looking for proof that she really did love me, this was it, right?
"
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

""I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.""
— James Patterson (The Angel Experiment)

"“Don’t ever leave me again,” I said in a tiny voice.
“I won’t,” he promised into my hair, sounding most un-Fang-like. “I won’t. Not ever.”
And just like that, a cold shard of ice that had been inside my chest ever since we’d split up-well, it just disappeared. I felt myself relax for the first time in I don’t known how long. The wind was chilly, but the sun was bright, and my whole flock was together. Fang and I were together.

“Excuse me? I’m alive too.” Iggy’s plaintive voice made me pull back.
"
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

"I hate this guy,” Ari muttered, keeping his head down
“There’s a club,” I told him. “The Haters of ter Borcht Club. Have you gotten your badge yet?”
"
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
— James Patterson (The Angel Experiment)