Avi's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 63)

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
11,793 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,340 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,546 people liked it

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
— Miss Piggy

tags: humor
5,601 people liked it

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

tags: humor, work
3,664 people liked it

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, friends, friendship, life
3,852 people liked it

"Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: girls, revenge
252 people liked it

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

tags: choices
2,939 people liked it

"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: fear, unknown
359 people liked it

"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE"
"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

tags: ache, death, hurt, life, pain
299 people liked it

"One magician demanded I show him an image of the love of his life. I rustled up a mirror."
— Jonathan Stroud (The Amulet of Samarkand)

tags: amulet-of-samarkand, bartimaeus-trilogy, jonathan-stroud
26 people liked it

"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking."
— Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

tags: amulet-of-samarkand, bartimaeus-trilogy, jonathan-stroud
17 people liked it

"Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird...but somehow I like his style."

"That is a footstool."
— Jonathan Stroud (The Golem's Eye)

tags: humor
16 people liked it

"Believe me, I know all about bottle acoustics. I spent much of the sixth century in an old sesame oil jar, corked with wax, bobbing about in the Red Sea. No one heard my hollers. In the end an old fisherman set me free, by which time I was desperate enough to grant him several wishes. I erupted in the form of a smoking giant, did a few lightning bolts, and bent to ask him his desire. Poor old boy had dropped dead of a heart attack. There should be a moral there, but for the life of me I can't see one."
— Jonathan Stroud

tags: book-3-of-the-bartimaeus-trilogy, ptolemy-s-gate
11 people liked it

""I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's more of a large and tastfully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored"

"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

tags: city-of-bones, humor
105 people liked it

"The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me. (Jace)"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

tags: city-of-bones, humor, jace-wayland, quotes
122 people liked it

"Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn't make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie. (Jace Wayland)"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

tags: city-of-bones, humor, jace-wayland
156 people liked it

"Jace: Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath.
Clary: It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.
Simon: As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome.
Jace: I knew we should have left you a rat.
"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

tags: city-of-bones, clary, jace-wayland, simon
172 people liked it

"The boy never cried again, and he never forgot what he'd learned: that to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed. (Jace Wayland)"
— Cassandra Clare

tags: city-of-bones, jace-wayland
135 people liked it

""When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the
face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the
oranges you originally asked for."
"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

40 people liked it

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing
15,746 people liked it

""I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.""
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

tags: angst, city-of-ashes, humor
65 people liked it

"Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me…Well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.
-Simon"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

tags: city-of-ashes, humor, mortal-instruments, simon, vampire
161 people liked it

"‘I saw Jonathan after he faced the fear demon, you know. It showed itself to him as you. That told me all I needed to know. The greatest fear in Jonathan’s life is the love he feels for his sister.’ (Valentine Morgenstern)"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

tags: city-of-ashes, valentine-morgenstern
43 people liked it

"Repeat after me, Mr. Black: I do believe in commas. I do, I do."
— Jaida Jones

tags: black, harry, lupin, potter, project, remus, sbp, shoebox, sirius
29 people liked it

"I knew I could do it all this time," said Harry,"because I'd already done it...does that make sense?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

tags: humor
65 people liked it

"don't tell me Harry Potter is really about the Holy Grail"
— Dan Brown (The Da Vinci Code)

tags: grail, harry, holy, humor, potter
34 people liked it

"Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to pick one that fights back."
— Jk Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

tags: humor
149 people liked it

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

tags: hermione
699 people liked it

"You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts...but you cannot deny he's got style..."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

150 people liked it

"Cinderella? Snow White? What's that? An illness?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: fairytales
170 people liked it

"An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can’t have.... Are you sure?"
"Yes I’m sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?"
"Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow..."
"I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough."
— J.K, Rowling

tags: harry, malfoy, potter, ron, vow, weasley
79 people liked it

"Draco Dormien Nuquam Titillndus - Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon
"
— Jk Rowling

tags: hogwarts
39 people liked it

"'Xenophilius Lovegood,' he said, extending a hand to Harry. 'My daughter and I live over the hill, so kind of the Weasleys to invite us. I think you know my Luna?' he added to Ron.

'Yes' said Ron. 'Isn't she with you?'

'She lingered in that charming little garden to say hello to the gnomes, such a glorious infestation! How few wizards realize just how much we can learn from the wise little gnomes-or, to give then their correct names, the Gernumbli gardensi.'

'Ours do know a lot of excellent swear words,' said Ron, 'but I think Fred and George taught then those.'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: gnomes
61 people liked it

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
— JK Rowling

tags: dumbledore, harry, potter
53 people liked it

"'You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!'

'What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

172 people liked it

"Harry: This book belongs to Harry Potter.
Ron: Shared by Ron Weasley, because his fell apart.
Hermione: Why don't you buy a new one then?
Ron: Write on your own book, Hermione.
Hermione: You bought all those dungbombs on Saturday. You could have bought a new book instead.
Ron: Dungbombs rule."
— J.K. Rowling (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)

46 people liked it

"Uncle Vernon: What were you doing under our window, boy?
Harry Potter: Listening to the news.
Uncle Vernon: Listening to the news! Again?
Harry: Well, it changes every day, you see."
— Harry and Uncle Vernon

44 people liked it

"'Seventeen, eh!' said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred.
'Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?'
'Vaguely,' said Harry, grinning up at him. 'Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?'
'I forge’ the details,' Hagrid chortled."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

92 people liked it

"Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.

"Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.""
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: fame, humor
126 people liked it

"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

55 people liked it

"Hermione launched herself forward and started punching every inch of Ron she could reach.
'Ouch, ow, gerrof! What the-? Hermione! Ow!'
'You complete-arse-Ronald-Weasley!'
She punctuated every word with a blow; Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: humor
31 people liked it

"Some are born great, others acheive greatness.

- Albus Dumbledore"
— J. K. Rowling

tags: harry, potter
32 people liked it

"in the name of Merlin’s pants"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: humor
15 people liked it

"Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around...""
— J.K. Rowling

55 people liked it

"'Does it hurt?"' The childish question had escaped Harry's lips before he could stop it.

'Dying? Not at all,' said Sirius. 'Quicker and easier than falling asleep.'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: death
41 people liked it

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

tags: dreams, life
2,047 people liked it

"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin' abou'—about ANYTHING?"
Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad.
"I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff.""
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

tags: humor, math
27 people liked it

"It's the mortal cup Jace, not the mortal toilet bowl."
— Cassandra Clare

tags: bones, city, instruments, mortal
69 people liked it

"Just kissing? How quickly you dismiss out love.
-Jace"
— Cassandra Clare

tags: bones, city, instruments, jace, mortal
50 people liked it

« previous 1 2 next »

Avi's profile »

all quotes
add a quote

Avi's quotes

tags from Avi's quotes