"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."
— Robert Bloch

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. " "
— Rachel Krueger

"Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
— Will Rogers

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

"A balanced diet is a brownie in both hands."
— Nobody knows...

""The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation.""
— Rick Riordan The Titan's Curse-Athena

"Three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead"
— Ben Franklin

"With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

-Nico"
— Rick Riordan (The Last Olympian)

""Dreams like a podcast,
Downloading truth in my ears.
They tell me cool stuff."

"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
"A god named Fred?""
— Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse)

"Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades."
— Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse)

"It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up."
— Rick Riordan

"Yay! Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!

Tyson"
— Rick Riordan

"Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?
Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?
Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god! . . . They don't seem to care."
— Rick Riordan (The Battle of the Labyrinth)

"We only came close to dying six or seven times, which i thought was pretty good. Once, I lst my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face.
"Sorry," she murrmured.
"S'okay," I grunted, though I'd never really wanted to know what Annabeth's sneaker tasted like."
— Rick Riordan (The Sea of Monsters)

"Rachel: "They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb."
Annabeth: "Was it hard?""
— Rick Riordan (The Battle of the Labyrinth)

"'I'm Razo, a member of Bayern's Own,' he said, stopping himself from adding "Loafing is just a hobby of mine."
'Bayern's Own? But you're a child.'
Razo looked up to the sky. 'I'm not a child, I'm just short.'"
— Shannon Hale (River Secrets)

""I was just thinking... isn't it lucky that we decided to become co-editors? If one takes a blow to the head, the other can fill in. If the other's lung spontaneoulsy collapses, the one can fill in. It's a perfect system once you think about it."
~Will Landsman"
— Gabrielle Zevin (Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac)

"No one actually needs another person or another person's love to survive. Love is when we have irrationally convinced ourselves that we do."
— Gabrielle Zevin (Elsewhere)

"And I was crying for gravity. It had sent me down the stairs, and I'd thought that meant something, but maybe it was just the direction that all things tend to flow."
— Gabrielle Zevin (Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac)

"Annabeth: Normally, as long as I'm telling [Percy] what to do, he wins in a fight."
— Rick Riordan The Demigod Files

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

"'Your powers drain you too much,' [Percy] noted.
[Nico] nodded sleepily. 'With great power...comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.'"
— Rick Riordan The Last Olympian

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"It takes much bravery to stand up to our enemies but we need as much bravery to stand up to our friends."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."
— J.K. Rowling

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default."
— J.K. Rowling

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.

Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of
Dobby's hats."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."
— J.K. Rowling

"There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione's arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.
"Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "OI! There's a war going on here!"
Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other.
"I know, mate," said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, "so it's now or never, isn't it?"
"Never mind that, what about the Horcrux?" Harry shouted. "D'you think you could just --- just hold it in, until we've got the diadem?"
"Yeah --- right --- sorry ---" said Ron, and he and Hermione set about gathering up fangs, both pink in the face."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"'Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?' Harry interrupted again.

'So he can sneak up on people,' said Ron. 'Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"You could say sorry," suggested Harry bluntly.
"What, and get attacked by another flock of canaries?" muttered Ron.
"What did you have to imitate her for?"
"She laughed at my mustache!"
"So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)