"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
— Maya Angelou

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
— Dr. Seuss

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
— Mahatma Gandhi

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

"The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity."
— Dorothy Parker

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
— Dorothy Parker

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."
— Dorothy Parker

"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
— Dorothy Parker

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye."
— Dorothy Parker

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'"
— Dorothy Parker

"All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. "
— Dorothy Parker

"She can sit up and beg, and
she can give her paw —
I don't say she will, but she can."
— Dorothy Parker

"Symptom Recital

I do not like my state of mind;
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light;
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at simple, earnest folk.
I cannot take the gentlest joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick, I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore;
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men....
I'm due to fall in love again."
— Dorothy Parker

"Lady, lady, never start
Conversation toward your heart;
Keep your pretty words serene;
Never murmur what you mean.
Show yourself, by word and look,
Swift and shallow as a brook.
Be as cool and quick to go
As a drop of April snow;
Be as delicate and gay
As a cherry flower in May.
Lady, lady, never speak
Of the tears that burn your cheek-
She will never win him, whose
Words had shown she feared to lose.
Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never serious be, nor true,
And your wish will come to you-
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did."
— Dorothy Parker

"The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism."
— Dorothy Parker

"They say of me, and so they should,
It's doubtful if I come to good."
— Dorothy Parker

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
— Dorothy Parker

"Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart."
— Dorothy Parker

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
— Dorothy Parker

"People Who Do Things exceed my endurance;
God, for a man that solicits insurance!"
— Dorothy Parker

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
— Dorothy Parker

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."
— Dorothy Parker

"When I was young and bold and strong,
The right was right, the wrong was wrong.
With plume on high and flag unfurled,
I rode away to right the world.
But now I’m old - and good and bad,
Are woven in a crazy plaid.
I sit and say the world is so,
And wise is s/he who lets it go."
— Dorothy Parker

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song;
a medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
and I am Marie of Romania."
— Dorothy Parker

"If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you."
— Dorothy Parker

"If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again,
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn…"
— Dorothy Parker

"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
— Dorothy Parker

"Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa."
— Dorothy Parker

"Women and elephants never forget."
— Dorothy Parker

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
— Mark Twain

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
— Groucho Marx

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
— Dorothy Parker

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
— Oscar Wilde

"I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction."
— Clarence Darrow

"That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them."
— Dorothy Parker

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
— Mae West

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
— Marilyn Monroe (Marilyn: Her Life in Her Own Words)

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."
— Marilyn Monroe

"If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything."
— Marilyn Monroe

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."
— Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."
— Marilyn Monroe (Marilyn: Her Life in Her Own Words)