Tay's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 56)

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,796 people liked it

"I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: heaven, humor
907 people liked it

"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: belief, death, ideals, martyr, truth
782 people liked it

"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."
— Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray and Three Stories)

tags: sin
726 people liked it

"A good friend will always stab you in the front."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: betrayal, friends
715 people liked it

"Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: power, sex
557 people liked it

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: fashion
364 people liked it

"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: saint, sinner
404 people liked it

"I have nothing to declare except my genius."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: humor
274 people liked it

"There is no sin except stupidity."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: sin, stupidity
143 people liked it

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: humor
109 people liked it

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
— Albert Einstein

tags: imagination, inspirational
5,800 people liked it

"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales."
— Albert Einstein

2,594 people liked it

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
— Albert Einstein

tags: reality
2,172 people liked it

"Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"
— Albert Einstein

tags: creativity, humor
2,025 people liked it

"A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it."
— Albert Einstein

842 people liked it

"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."
— Albert Einstein

tags: funny
627 people liked it

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."
— Albert Einstein

473 people liked it

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
261 people liked it

"Creativity is intelligence having fun."
— Albert Einstein

149 people liked it

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
— Albert Einstein

75 people liked it

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
— Mark Twain

tags: truth
2,274 people liked it

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor
2,066 people liked it

"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, satan
1,206 people liked it

"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?"
— Mark Twain

tags: bible, books
503 people liked it

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
— Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor
414 people liked it

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
— Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war
400 people liked it

"Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, reading
296 people liked it

"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."
— Mark Twain

tags: education
212 people liked it

"If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."
— Mark Twain

tags: animals, cats, dogs, grace
185 people liked it

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."
— Mark Twain

tags: cats, lesson
161 people liked it

"When angry, count four. When very angry, swear."
— Mark Twain

tags: anger
131 people liked it

"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats."
— Mark Twain

tags: cats, redheads
120 people liked it

"Only presidents, editors and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we"."
— Mark Twain

111 people liked it

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid."
— Mark Twain

70 people liked it

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain

tags: food
40 people liked it

"I like a thin book because it can steady a table, a leather volume because it will strop a razor, and a heavy book because it can be thrown at a cat."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, humor
38 people liked it

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
— Mark Twain

tags: duels
36 people liked it

"The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon."
— Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor, politics
399 people liked it

"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."
— Kurt Vonnegut (A Man Without a Country)

tags: college, semicolons, writing
348 people liked it

"Dance Like No One is Watching...
Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt Before...
Go to Work Like You Don't Need The Money."
— Kurt Vonnegut

185 people liked it

"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."
— Kurt Vonnegut

125 people liked it

"Unusual travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God."
— Kurt Vonnegut

68 people liked it

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
— Dorothy Parker

tags: author, book, humorist, poet, wit
518 people liked it

"(When asked to use "horticulture" in a sentence) You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
— Dorothy Parker (The Portable Dorothy Parker)

tags: horticulture, prostitution, wordplay
165 people liked it

""This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.""
— Dorothy Parker

tags: raisins, terrible
28 people liked it

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind."
— Mahatma Gandhi (GANDHI: An Autobiography or The Story of My Experiments with Truth)

tags: conflict, fighting, peace, revenge, trial, violence
1,868 people liked it

"What we are doing to the forests of the world is but a mirror reflection of what we are doing to ourselves and to one another."
— Mahatma Gandhi

tags: environment, forests, humanity, trees, wilderness
54 people liked it

"A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open."
— Frank Zappa

tags: open-mind
107 people liked it

"Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'
Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?'"
— Frank Zappa

tags: hair, humor
49 people liked it

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