♫ ben ♫'s quotes

(showing 1-50 of 76)

"Always choose your bodyguard from another country, they find it harder to make alliance and betray you."
— Nancy Farmer

8 people liked it

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
9,207 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,306 people liked it

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor
9,168 people liked it

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: wisdom
9,059 people liked it

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: dreams, love, reality, sleep
10,103 people liked it

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
— Mahatma Gandhi

tags: carpe-diem, education, inspirational, learning
7,867 people liked it

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,528 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,359 people liked it

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

tags: exercise, humor, laziness
5,801 people liked it

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
— Mark Twain

tags: literacy
5,974 people liked it

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
— Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom
6,041 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,528 people liked it

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, friends, friendship, life
3,842 people liked it

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
— Mark Twain

tags: education
3,056 people liked it

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, writing
1,524 people liked it

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."
— Mark Twain

tags: truth
1,803 people liked it

"'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, classic, reading
1,704 people liked it

"Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company."
— Mark Twain

tags: christian, humor, philosophy, theology
1,911 people liked it

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said 'I don't know'."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, knowledge
1,440 people liked it

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics
1,503 people liked it

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, truth
1,094 people liked it

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it."
— Mark Twain

tags: censorship, food
1,008 people liked it

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
— Mark Twain (The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations)

tags: writing
910 people liked it

"Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."
— Mark Twain

tags: politics
937 people liked it

"Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
— Mark Twain

tags: living, world
1,044 people liked it

"There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics."
— Benjamin Disraeli

tags: truth
888 people liked it

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."
— Mark Twain

tags: age
783 people liked it

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
— Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs
473 people liked it

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."
— Mark Twain

tags: newspapers
494 people liked it

"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?"
— Mark Twain

tags: bible, books
482 people liked it

"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, inventing
564 people liked it

"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor
393 people liked it

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

Letter to Joseph Twichell, 9/13/1898"
— Mark Twain

tags: austen, criticism, jerk, reading, writing
250 people liked it

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
— Mark Twain

tags: facts, humor
330 people liked it

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
— Mark Twain

tags: clothing
325 people liked it

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"
— Mark Twain

tags: decisions, humor, mind
229 people liked it

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."
— Mark Twain

tags: food
170 people liked it

"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."
— Mark Twain

413 people liked it

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
— Mark Twain

tags: history
215 people liked it

"If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."
— Mark Twain

tags: animals, cats, dogs, grace
180 people liked it

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
— Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs, heaven
163 people liked it

"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way."
— Mark Twain

tags: spelling
184 people liked it

"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."
— Mark Twain

9 people liked it

"Wagner’s music is better than it sounds. "
— Edgar Wilson Nye

tags: music, wagner
16 people liked it

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Apple Computer Inc.

tags: advertising, apple, change, commercial, computers, different, misfits, nonconformity, quo, rebels, status, think
6,789 people liked it

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

tags: mischief
898 people liked it

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
— Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor
704 people liked it

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not."
— Dr. Seuss (The Lorax)

tags: activism
658 people liked it