"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do."
— Harold Coffin

"I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it."
— Mae West

""We have a strategic plan. It's called doing things." "
— Herb Kelleher, founder Southwest Airlines

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
— Dr. Seuss

"This scene may disturb you, so you have to pay attention."
— Zane

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind."
— Mahatma Gandhi (GANDHI: An Autobiography or The Story of My Experiments with Truth)

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

"Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice."
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason "
— Jerry Seinfeld

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
— Mark Twain

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
— Theodore Roosevelt

"Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny."
— Bruce Springsteen

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."
— Elie Wiesel

"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"I love Jesus, but I drink a little."
— Gladys Hardy

"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
— Robert E. Howard

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

"Are you born again?" he asked, as we taxied down the runway. He was rather prim and tense, maybe a little like David Eisenhower with a spastic colon. I did not know how to answer for a moment.
"Yes," I said. "I am."
My friends like to tell each other that I am not really a born-again Christian. They think of me more along the lines of that old Jonathan Miller routine, where he said, "I'm not really a Jew -- I'm Jew-ish." They think I am Christian-ish. But I'm not. I'm just a bad Christian. A bad born-again Christian. And certainly, like the apostle Peter, I am capable of denying it, of presenting myself as a sort of leftist liberation-theology enthusiast and maybe sort of a vaguely Jesusy bon vivant. But it's not true. And I believe that when you get on a plane, if you start lying you are totally doomed.
So I told the truth; that I am a believer, a convert. I'm probably about three months away from slapping an aluminum Jesus-fish on the back of my car, although I first want to see if the application or stickum in any way interferes with my lease agreement. And believe me, all this boggles even *my* mind. But it's true. I could go to a gathering of foot-wash Baptists and, except for my dreadlocks, fit right in. I would wash their feet; I would let them wash mine."
— Anne Lamott

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

""Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good?" Anita Blake"
— Laurell K. Hamilton (Danse Macabre)

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."
— William Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well)

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it."
— Groucho Marx

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
— Mark Twain

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
— Miss Piggy

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."
— Mahatma Gandhi

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

"It's not about hair loss. It's about face GAIN. I hear the term, 'receding hairline'. I say, 'Expanding Facial Fronteir'. One day I might have a whole head of FACE."
— Sheng Wang

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
— Bessie Anderson Stanley

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
— Thomas A. Edison

"Well-behaved women rarely make history."
— Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
— Oscar Wilde (Lady Windermere's Fan)

"Trust only those who stand to loose as much as you when things go wrong......."
— Sol

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
— Maya Angelou

""I have to admit that I lie on my Weight Watchers' food list. I'll put down that I had 3 eggs...but I won't put down that they were Cadbury Chocolate Eggs.""
— Caroline Rhea

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

"It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people."
— Neil Gaiman (Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch)

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain--and most do."
— Dale Carnegie