Andrea's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 71)

"Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
Eddie DeChooch"
— Janet Evanovich (Seven Up)

tags: humor
359 people liked it

"A sense of humor...is superior to any religion so far devised."
— Tom Robbins (Jitterbug Perfume)

tags: humor, religion
124 people liked it

"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before."
— Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory
736 people liked it

"I am my world."
— Ludwig Wittgenstein

tags: philosophy, tractatus
31 people liked it

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
— Terry Pratchett (Diggers)

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
2,918 people liked it

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: fantasy
3,880 people liked it

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
— Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom
6,064 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,397 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,347 people liked it

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: confidence, inspirational, wisdom
10,223 people liked it

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

tags: friends
2,207 people liked it

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: honesty, inspirational
5,345 people liked it

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."
— Mahatma Gandhi

tags: action, change, inspirational, philosophy, wish
11,314 people liked it

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
9,239 people liked it

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor
9,196 people liked it

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: best, life, love, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
10,387 people liked it

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

tags: humor, life
8,653 people liked it

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

tags: exercise, humor, laziness
5,815 people liked it

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

tags: friendship
7,238 people liked it

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: inspirational
4,922 people liked it

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: enemies, forgiveness, strategy
5,979 people liked it

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you."
— Elbert Hubbard

tags: friend, friendship, knowledge, love
6,250 people liked it

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
— Anaïs Nin

tags: life, philosophy
3,571 people liked it

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh.'"
— Conan O'Brien

tags: humor, men, women
139 people liked it

"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. "
— Roseanne Barr

tags: feminism, power, women
126 people liked it

"The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy."
— Yves Saint-Laurent

tags: cosmetics, fashion, makeup, women
80 people liked it

"Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes."
— Mae West

tags: justice, women
86 people liked it

"You're only a man! You've not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!"
— Georgette Heyer (Powder and Patch)

tags: humor, men, thoughts, women
62 people liked it

"That's how it's going to be, however much people may grumble."
— Anne Boleyn, Christmas 1530

tags: life, women
36 people liked it

"Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?"
— Carrie Snow

tags: humor, marriage, men, relationships, single, women
57 people liked it

"You know what it's like," said Storm, "when you want to--just--pour a woman into a glass and--just-drink her--just drink her down, one gulp, body and soul?"
— Andrew Klavan (The Uncanny)

tags: women
12 people liked it

"And when she turned around, her pretty little butt twitched so nice and all. She knocked me out. I mean it. I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."
— J.D. Salinger (The Catcher in the Rye)

tags: women
6 people liked it

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"
— Scott Adams

tags: food, humor, love
956 people liked it

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
— Mae West

tags: humor, temptation
1,071 people liked it

"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember."
— Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)

tags: cats, humor, life
741 people liked it

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
— Charles Lamb

tags: humor, work
655 people liked it

"Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: humor, reading, wicked
768 people liked it

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
— Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor
704 people liked it

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste
709 people liked it

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
— David Sedaris

tags: humor, perception, retardation
409 people liked it

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"
— Dr. Seuss

tags: humor
535 people liked it

"I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train."
— Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest)

tags: books, humor
508 people liked it

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
— Bill Watterson (The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book)

tags: humor, idiots, life
641 people liked it

"I had never seen so much hair on a man. It covered all of his face and grew way down to his chest, maybe lower, but he didn't have hair where it counted, on top of his head."
— John Lame Deer (Lame Deer, Sioux Medicine Man)

tags: humor
2 people liked it

"Happiness consists in frequent repetition of pleasure"
— Arthur Schopenhauer

tags: happiness, philosophy
50 people liked it

"Belief is the death of intelligence."
— Robert Anton Wilson

tags: atheism, belief, faith, intelligence, metaphysics, philosophy, religion
82 people liked it

"Next to music beer was best."
— Carson McCullers (The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter)

tags: drinking, music
44 people liked it

"There are all kinds of mix tapes. there is always a reason to make one."
— Rob Sheffield (Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time)

tags: music
22 people liked it

"Pop music often tells you everything is OK, while rock music tells you that it's not OK, but you can change it."
— Bono (On the Move)

tags: music
121 people liked it

"If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it."
— John Lennon

tags: art, beatles, confidence, ego, music
80 people liked it

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