Michelle > Michelle's Quotes

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  • #1
    Julia Quinn
    “Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ - one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn't a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way.”
    Julia Quinn, Romancing Mister Bridgerton

  • #2
    Lisa Kleypas
    “Sometimes a woman needs a man for company, no matter how useless he is.”
    Lisa Kleypas, Sugar Daddy
    tags: men

  • #3
    Robin McKinley
    “So when a dragon is directly over you, well, even if you're me and you're kind of used to it, your medulla oblongata is still telling you 'the sky is falling, you're about to die, run like hell.”
    Robin McKinley, Dragonhaven

  • #4
    David Eddings
    “What was that?" Belgarath asked, coming back around the corner.
    "Brill," Silk replied blandly, pulling his Murgo robe back on.
    "Again?" Belgarath demanded with exasperation. "What was he doing this time?"
    "Trying to fly, last time I saw him." Silk smirked.
    The old man looked puzzled.
    "He wasn't doing it very well," Silk added.
    Belgarath shrugged. "Maybe it'll come to him in time."
    "He doesn't really have all that much time." Silk glanced out over the edge.
    "From far below - terribly far below - there came a faint, muffled crash; then, after several seconds, another. "Does bouncing count?" Silk asked.
    Belgarath made a wry face. "Not really."
    "Then I'd say he didn't learn in time." Silk said blithely.”
    David Eddings, Magician's Gambit

  • #5
    Nora Roberts
    “Eve rose stiffly when he strode out of the house. In silence, she watched Julia look after him. "The male ego," Eve murmured as she crossed the room to put an arm around Julia's shoulders. "It's a huge and fragile thing. I always envision it as an enormous penis made of thin glass.”
    Nora Roberts, Genuine Lies

  • #6
    Jim Davis
    “Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.”
    Jim Davis

  • #7
    Jim Davis
    “If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen ”
    Jim Davis

  • #8
    Douglas Adams
    “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
    Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

  • #9
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #10
    Douglas Adams
    “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #11
    Douglas Adams
    “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #12
    Douglas Adams
    “Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #13
    Douglas Adams
    “I don’t know what I’m looking for.”
    “What not?”
    “Because … because … I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn’t be able to look for them.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #14
    Douglas Adams
    “One is never alone with a rubber duck.”
    Douglas Adams

  • #15
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

  • #16
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    Robert A. Heinlein

  • #17
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    Woody Allen

  • #18
    Henry Ward Beecher
    “Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
    Henry Ward Beecher

  • #19
    Groucho Marx
    “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
    Groucho Marx

  • #20
    Groucho Marx
    “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
    Groucho Marx

  • #21
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    George Carlin

  • #22
    George Burns
    “Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
    George Burns

  • #23
    Dr. Seuss
    “When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles
    and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...
    ...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle
    bottle paddle battle.”
    Dr. Seuss, Fox in Socks

  • #24
    Dr. Seuss
    “All those Nupboards in the Cupboards they're good fun to have about. But that Nooth gush on my tooth brush.....Him I could do without.”
    Dr. Seuss, There's a Wocket in My Pocket!

  • #25
    Lemony Snicket
    “If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

  • #26
    Victor Borge
    “He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”
    Victor Borge

  • #27
    Ron White
    “You can't fix stupid! ”
    Ron White, I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability
    tags: humor

  • #28
    “Silence! I kill you!”
    Jeff Dunham

  • #29
    “Jef-f, Dun-Ham, dot com!!”
    Jeff Dunham

  • #30
    Erma Bombeck
    “My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
    Erma Bombeck

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