"The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity."
— Dorothy Parker

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."
— Dorothy Parker

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
— Dorothy Parker

"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
— Dorothy Parker

"What fresh hell is this?"
— Dorothy Parker (The Portable Dorothy Parker)

"They sicken of the calm who know the storm."
— Dorothy Parker

"Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live."
— Dorothy Parker

"I hate writing, I love having written."
— Dorothy Parker

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
— Dorothy Parker

"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of those who-do-things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails. But I don't even do that anymore."
— Dorothy Parker

"Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life."
— Dorothy Parker

"Time doth flit; oh shit."
— Dorothy Parker

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
— Dorothy Parker

"Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship."
— Dorothy Parker

"Authors and actors and artists and such - Never know nothing, and never know much."
— Dorothy Parker

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'"
— Dorothy Parker

"(When asked: But you have a very open relationship with your fans.) Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers."
— Neil Gaiman

"Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal."
— Neil Gaiman

"Write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly and tell it as best you can. I'm not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter."
— Neil Gaiman

"They might be dirty, and cheap, and their food might taste like shit, but at least they didn’t speak in clichés"
— Neil Gaiman (American Gods)

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
— Neil Gaiman (American Gods)

"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between."
— Sylvia Plath (The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath)

"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days."
— Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

"I talk to God but the sky is empty."
— Sylvia Plath

"Is there no way out of the mind?"
— Sylvia Plath

"Nothing stinks like a pile of unpublished writing."
— Sylvia Plath

"There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends."
— Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

"That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to get married. The last thing I wanted was infinite security and to be the place an arrow shoots off from. I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket."
— Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

"Character is fate."
— Sylvia Plath

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Apple Computer Inc.

"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should be treated with caution."
— J.K. Rowling

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"She's as nutty as squirrel poo. "
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)