"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
— Dorothy Parker

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
— Dorothy Parker

"What fresh hell is this?"
— Dorothy Parker (The Portable Dorothy Parker)

"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of those who-do-things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails. But I don't even do that anymore."
— Dorothy Parker

"In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you."
— Dorothy Parker

"Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground."
— Dorothy Parker (Men, Women and Dogs)

"So, you're the man who can't spell 'fuck.'"
Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers had convinced Mailer to replace the word with a euphemism, 'fug,' in his 1948 book, "The Naked and the Dead."
— Dorothy Parker

"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."
— Dorothy Parker

"A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika."
— Dorothy Parker

"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things."
— Dorothy Parker