"'...Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?'
Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
"Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.""
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

"I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

" "I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teeenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
"Well," said Luke, "you're doing a vantastic job.""
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the
face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the
oranges you originally asked for."
— Cassandra Clare

"'Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?' -simon

'No,' Jace said. 'Somethimes he sits on the couch and does it.'"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

"'We came to see Jace. Is he alright?' -Clary

'I don't know,' Magnus said. 'Does he normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?'"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

"'It wouldn't be my move,' Jace agreed. 'First the candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order.'

-Jace"
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

"Isabella with her whip and boots and knives would chop anyone who tried to pen her up in a tower into pieces, build a bridge out of the remains, and walk carelessly to freedom, her hair looking fabulous the entire time."
— Cassandra Clare

""If there's a thing I've learned in my life it's to not be afraid of the responsibility that comes with caring for other people. What we do for love: those things endure. Even if the people you do them for don't""
— Cassandra Clare

"the nod means i am a badass and i recognize that you too are a badass"
— Cassandra Clare

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
— Jane Austen (Northanger Abbey)

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
— Miss Piggy

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
— Robert A. Heinlein

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
— Groucho Marx

"Reality continues to ruin my life."
— Bill Watterson (The Complete Calvin and Hobbes)

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
— E.B. White

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."
— Rita Mae Brown

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
— Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time)

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her."
— Stephenie Meyer (New Moon)

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
— Oscar Levant

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."
— Jane Austen

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
— Albert Einstein

"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Happiness is a warm puppy."
— Charles M. Schulz

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
— Thomas Stephen Szasz

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."
— Woody Allen

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer"
— Douglas Adams

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
— Jerome K. Jerome

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."
— Douglas Adams

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
— Mae West

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
— George Carlin

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off."
— Stephen King (Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay)

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
— W.C. Fields

"I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."
— Oscar Wilde

"Humor is reason gone mad."
— Groucho Marx

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."
— Lemony Snicket

"Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends."
— George Bernard Shaw

"A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar."
— Carolyn G. Heilbrun

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
— Bill Watterson

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
— Groucho Marx

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."
— Terry Pratchett

"Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you."
— Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

"THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. We are here to help you.
2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3. The dress code will be enforced.
4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
6. We expect more of you here.
7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8. Your schedule was created with you in mind.
9. Your locker combination is private.
10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3. Students must stay on campus during lunch.
4. The new text books will arrive any day now.
5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
6. We are enforcing the dress code.
7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9. There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10. We want to hear what you have to say."
— Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak)

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
— Bill Watterson (The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book)