Melissa's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 63)

"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane."
— Philip K. Dick

tags: insanity, madness, pkd, reality
992 people liked it

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

tags: integrity
4,013 people liked it

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
— Ray Bradbury (Zen in the Art of Writing)

tags: writing
512 people liked it

"I think it's perfectly possible to explain how the universe came about without bringing God into it, but I don't know everything, and there may well be a God somewhere, hiding away. Actually, if he is keeping out of sight, it's because he's ashamed of his followers and all the cruelty and ignorance they're responsible for promoting in his name. If I were him, I'd want nothing to do with them."
— Philip Pullman

tags: cruelty, religion
192 people liked it

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: humor, movies
2,316 people liked it

"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: funny, humor, inconceivable, movies
1,774 people liked it

"Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: death, love, movies
1,243 people liked it

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off."
— Stephen King (Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay)

tags: god, humor, religion
915 people liked it

"The big difference between my mom and me-- besides the fact that she is dead normal and I'm a magic-handling freak-- is that she's the real thing. She may have a slight problem seeing other people's points of view, but she's honest about it. She's a brass-bound bitch because she believes she knows best. I'm a brass-bound bitch because I don't want anyone getting close enough to find out what a whiny little knot of naked nerve endings I really am. "
— Robin McKinley (Sunshine)

tags: humor, magic, mothers
27 people liked it

"Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face."
— Jim Butcher (Storm Front)

tags: demon, paranoia, paranoid
149 people liked it

"Me and polite have never been on close terms."
— Jim Butcher

43 people liked it

"Nay, but prithee, with sprinkles 'pon it instead," I said solemnly, "and frosting of white."
— Jim Butcher (Small Favor)

tags: irony, politeness, sweetness
34 people liked it

"An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo!"
— Jim Butcher (Blood Rites)

tags: danger, errands, incendiary-poo, pyromaniac-gorillas
52 people liked it

"I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven."
— Jim Butcher

33 people liked it

"Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?"
— Jim Butcher (Small Favor)

tags: humor
21 people liked it

"Let's sum up: an unknown number of enemies with unknown capabilities, supported by a gang of madmen, packs of attack animals, and superhumanly intelligent pocket change."
— Jim Butcher

21 people liked it

"Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is ajar"
— Jim Butcher (Dead Beat)

tags: humor, life, zen
57 people liked it

"Polka will never die."
— Jim Butcher (Dead Beat)

tags: polka
22 people liked it

"You always get weirdos like Edward who seem to attract women for some reason. If Edward wasn’t a fictional character and you met him in reality he is like one of those guys who would probably be an axe murderer or something."
— Stephenie Meyer (The Twilight Saga)

tags: twilight
5,709 people liked it

"I don't like having feelings," Eric said coldly, and he left.
That was a tough exit line to top."
— Charlaine Harris (Club Dead)

tags: eric, sookie
78 people liked it

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

tags: deadlines, humor, work
5,500 people liked it

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

tags: humor, scifi
3,370 people liked it

"Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc...and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."
— Douglas Adams

tags: humour
2,098 people liked it

"The Guide says that there is an art to flying,” said Ford, “or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
— Douglas Adams

tags: flight, flying, hg2g, humor
1,217 people liked it

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

tags: humor
1,395 people liked it

"The major problem- one of the major problems, for there are several- one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of whom manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

tags: elections, hg2g, politics, president, rulers
508 people liked it

"Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a blank piece of paper until your forehead bleeds."
— Douglas Adams

tags: craft, humor, writing
610 people liked it

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

tags: british, commentary, fiction, humor, science, social, thumb, towel
432 people liked it

"A learning experience is one of those things that says, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.""
— Douglas Adams (The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time)

tags: life
469 people liked it

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

tags: adams, douglas
274 people liked it

"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day."
— Douglas Adams

tags: atheism, intelligence
185 people liked it

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

194 people liked it

"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

190 people liked it

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."
— Douglas Adams

125 people liked it

"First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure."
— Douglas Adams

tags: computer, science, technology
118 people liked it

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively usual thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."
— Douglas Adams (The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide: Five Complete Novels & One Story)

tags: humor
95 people liked it

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."
— Douglas Adams (The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

tags: adams, beeblebrox, douglas, guide, hitchhiker-s, quote, zaphod
142 people liked it

"The effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
— Douglas Adams

50 people liked it

""What happens if I press this button?" -- "I WOULDN'T!"
*DING*
"Oh"
"What happened?"
"A light came on saying, please do not press this button again""
— Douglas Adams

tags: temptation
67 people liked it

"Ahenny (adj.) - The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves."
— Douglas Adams (The Deeper Meaning of Liff)

44 people liked it

""42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family" "
— Douglas Adams

41 people liked it

"That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting."
— Douglas Adams (Life, the Universe and Everything)

23 people liked it

"One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he didn't actually understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid."
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

22 people liked it

"If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat."
— Douglas Adams

tags: humor, science
64 people liked it

"The road to hell is paved with adverbs."
— Stephen King

tags: -on, from, writing-
318 people liked it

"Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn't carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life."
— Stephen King

tags: books
286 people liked it

"Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to."
— Stephen King (Dolores Claiborne)

tags: bitch
193 people liked it

"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot."
— Stephen King

tags: writing
158 people liked it

"Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you'll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off of the binding."
— Stephen King

tags: books, guns
148 people liked it

"The thing under my bed waiting to grab my ankle isn't real. I know that, and I also know that if I'm careful to keep my foot under the covers, it will never be able to grab my ankle."
— Stephen King (Night Shift)

115 people liked it

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