Megan's quotes

(showing 1-35 of 35)

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

tags: deadlines, humor, work
5,289 people liked it

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: wisdom
9,169 people liked it

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

tags: humor, scifi
3,256 people liked it

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
— Miss Piggy

tags: humor
5,643 people liked it

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,587 people liked it

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
11,909 people liked it

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it."
— Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading
747 people liked it

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
— E.B. White

tags: activism, humor, life, pleasure
1,826 people liked it

"Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new after all."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: books, originality, unique
495 people liked it

"Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all."
— Douglas Adams

258 people liked it

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
— Roald Dahl

tags: believe, glittering-eyes, hidden, magic, secrets, unlikely-places, watch, world
1,223 people liked it

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: life, pain
631 people liked it

"I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognizably wiser than oneself."
— Marlene Dietrich

4 people liked it

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."
— Mahatma Gandhi

tags: action, change, inspirational, philosophy, wish
11,405 people liked it

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: best, life, love, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
10,537 people liked it

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

tags: humor, life
8,740 people liked it

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
— Mark Twain

tags: action, actions, disappointed, disappointment, discover, dream, dreams, explore, sail
7,628 people liked it

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
— Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom
6,118 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,351 people liked it

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: friendship, lack-of-friendship, lack-of-love, love, marriage, unhappy-marriage
4,392 people liked it

"Happiness is a warm puppy."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: animals, dogs, happiness, humor, puppies
1,103 people liked it

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
— Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs
484 people liked it

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
— Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs, heaven
166 people liked it

"Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell."
— Emily Dickinson

tags: dogs, poetry
91 people liked it

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
— Woodrow Wilson

tags: animals, dogs
50 people liked it

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
— Andy Rooney

tags: dogs, humanity, kindness, man
30 people liked it

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: women
6,890 people liked it

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men."
— Joseph Conrad

tags: women
1,176 people liked it

"After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."
— Ann Richards

tags: dance, dancing, politics, texas, women
366 people liked it

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
— Jane Austen (Northanger Abbey)

tags: books, classic, humor
5,488 people liked it

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor
2,011 people liked it

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, sinister
2,001 people liked it

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
— Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time)

tags: humor
1,764 people liked it

"I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out."
— David Sedaris (Naked)

tags: changing, others
176 people liked it

"Shit is the tofu of cursing."
— David Sedaris

tags: profanity, shit, swearing
61 people liked it

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