Mara's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 406)

"If life beats you down, there's only one thing you can do. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."
— Dory- Finding Nemo

tags: humor
44 people liked it

"Lady on the Subway: Do you know why the Subway is closed
Mara: Oh i don't know we are officially retarded"
— Mara

tags: funny
1 person liked it

"A dream is A wish your heart makes"
— Cinderella

1 person liked it

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

tags: humor, life
8,673 people liked it

"Mara: Nobody understands my sarcasm, see like for example
Mara: Your shirt is ugly
Mara: Gosh, I was being sarcastic"
— Mara

tags: funny
1 person liked it

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

tags: deadlines, humor, work
5,269 people liked it

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: humor, movies
2,206 people liked it

"Life is like a building a house, sometimes it gets flooded and you have to start from scratch, but once you finish building that house your dead."
— Mara

2 people liked it

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."
— Rita Mae Brown

tags: humor, insanity
2,438 people liked it

"I can remember sittin' in a cafe when I first started in rodeo, and waitin' until somebody got done so I could finish what they left"
— Chris LeDoux

tags: humor, inspirational
20 people liked it

"Fall down again, Bella?'
'No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face.'"
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

tags: humor
1,923 people liked it

"Grandfather informs me that is not possible."
— Jonathan Safran Foer

tags: humor
25 people liked it

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, sinister
1,988 people liked it

"chicken is good beef is better"
— natanwelch

tags: humor
32 people liked it

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her."
— Stephenie Meyer (New Moon)

tags: alice-cullen, humor
1,416 people liked it

"In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness."
— P.G. Wodehouse

tags: humor
28 people liked it

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
— Groucho Marx

tags: humor, time
1,466 people liked it

"I never met a man that I didn't like."
— Will Rogers

tags: humor
31 people liked it

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
1,624 people liked it

"Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic."
— Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor, thinking
43 people liked it

"Here’s the thing… I’ve already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are."
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

tags: crazy, humor
1,210 people liked it

"Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives."
— Derek Landy

tags: family, humor
61 people liked it

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
— Thomas Stephen Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational
1,585 people liked it

"Trust only those who stand to loose as much as you when things go wrong......."
— Sol

tags: humor
108 people liked it

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
— Jerome K. Jerome

tags: humor, work
1,101 people liked it

"Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes."
— Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan Vol. 5: Lonely City)

tags: character-defining, comics, humor
158 people liked it

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer"
— Douglas Adams

tags: humor, wit
1,408 people liked it

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself anytime"
— GFW

tags: humor
151 people liked it

"
♫ i'd like to be under the sea in an octopuses garden"
— Laura

tags: humor
1 person liked it

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"
— Mark Twain

tags: decisions, humor, mind
232 people liked it

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: chocolate, food, humor
2,834 people liked it

"The covers of this book are too far apart."
— Ambrose Bierce

tags: books, criticism, humor, wit
346 people liked it

"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: humor, philosophy
830 people liked it

"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."
— H.L. Mencken

tags: age, humor, old, wisdom
261 people liked it

"Penguins, lovely."
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

tags: edward-cullen, humor, penguins
927 people liked it

"I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it."
— Mae West

tags: humor
406 people liked it

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."
— Terry Pratchett (The Last Continent)

tags: death, humor, life
850 people liked it

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, philosophy, religion
374 people liked it

"Humor is reason gone mad."
— Groucho Marx

tags: humor, reason
654 people liked it

"I sent the club a wire stating, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER"."
— Groucho Marx (Groucho and Me)

tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
409 people liked it

"Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends."
— George Bernard Shaw

tags: animals, friends, humor, vegetarianism
510 people liked it

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
— George Burns

tags: family, happiness, humor
630 people liked it

"People, generally, suck."
— Christopher Moore

tags: humor
639 people liked it

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
— Orson Welles

tags: food, humor
685 people liked it

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste
711 people liked it

"I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: creation, god, humor, man
778 people liked it

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
— David Sedaris

tags: humor, perception, retardation
410 people liked it

"There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it."
— Bertrand Russell

tags: books, humor
781 people liked it