""The Internet is a Series of Tubes!" "
— Senator Ted Stevens (R) Alaska

"They say that "guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people."
— Eddie Izzard

"Today's another day. Time to play."
— Sally Wade

"So little time and so little to do."
— Oscar Levant

"I'm completely in favor of the
separation of Church and State.
... These two institutions screw us up enough
on their own, so both of them together is
certain death."
— George Carlin

"I'm allergic to rocks hitting me in the face."
— Mike Rowe

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
— Ernest Hemingway