Q-man 's quotes

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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
— Charles Shulz

20 people liked it

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
— Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor
421 people liked it

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

tags: humor, work
3,898 people liked it

"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
"
— Oscar Levant

10 people liked it

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
— Groucho Marx

tags: friends, humor, jail
796 people liked it

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
— Groucho Marx

204 people liked it

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
— Groucho Marx

361 people liked it

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others."
— Groucho Marx

268 people liked it

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
— Groucho Marx

tags: classic-insult
398 people liked it

"I sent the club a wire stating, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER"."
— Groucho Marx (Groucho and Me)

tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
449 people liked it

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
— Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading, television
2,963 people liked it

"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here."
— Stephen Bishop

tags: classic-insult
15 people liked it

"It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black."
— Paul Newman

2 people liked it

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They've got nothing to lose."
— Robin P. Williams

19 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,805 people liked it

"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
"
— Jane Wagner

8 people liked it

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Funny
Humor
books
classic-insult
humor
jail
procrastination
reading
work
Funeral
classic-insult
clique
clubs
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humor
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