Captain Rayana's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 136)

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."
— Isaac Asimov

tags: humor, writing
434 people liked it

"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl

tags: food, humor
239 people liked it

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
— Yogi Berra

tags: funny
497 people liked it

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: chocolate, food, humor
3,028 people liked it

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion
4,130 people liked it

"Never judge a book by its movie."
— J.W. Eagan

tags: film, humour, manuscript
639 people liked it

"You always get weirdos like Edward who seem to attract women for some reason. If Edward wasn’t a fictional character and you met him in reality he is like one of those guys who would probably be an axe murderer or something."
— Stephenie Meyer (The Twilight Saga)

tags: twilight
5,708 people liked it

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: faith, inspirational
1,479 people liked it

"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes."
— Jack Handey

tags: absurd
204 people liked it

"“…What I like doing best is Nothing.”

“How do you do Nothing,” asked Pooh after he had wondered for a long time.

“Well, it’s when people call out at you just as you’re going off to do it, ‘What are you going to do, Christopher Robin?’ and you say,”Oh, Nothing,” and then you go and do it.”

“It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

“Oh!” said Pooh."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

48 people liked it

"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

99 people liked it

"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count."
— A.A. Milne

tags: fun
61 people liked it

"To the uneducated an A is just three sticks. "
— A.A. Milne (The World of Pooh: The Complete Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner)

69 people liked it

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"

"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said."
— A.A. Milne

160 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,932 people liked it

"So, who are you going to choose? Tall and hot, or short and Kosher?*points at Hyde*"
— Kelso, That 70's show

5 people liked it

"One person's craziness is another person's reality."
— Tim Burton

tags: craziness, insanity, perspective, reality, sanity
115 people liked it

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
— Orson Welles

tags: food, humor
734 people liked it

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
12,525 people liked it

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,843 people liked it

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
— Jane Austen (Northanger Abbey)

tags: books, classic, humor
5,716 people liked it

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

tags: exercise, humor, laziness
6,051 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,655 people liked it

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

tags: deadlines, humor, work
5,499 people liked it

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

tags: humor, scifi
3,370 people liked it

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
— Terry Pratchett (Diggers)

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
3,073 people liked it

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people
3,331 people liked it

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

tags: humor, work
3,880 people liked it

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
— Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading, television
2,953 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,789 people liked it

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, health, humor, misprints
2,475 people liked it

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
— Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

tags: humor, proverb
2,077 people liked it

"'When snow melts, what does it become?'
'It becomes water, of course'
'Wrong! It becomes spring!'"
— Natsuki Takaya

59 people liked it

"It's a cruel and random world, but the chaos is all so beautiful."
— Hiromu Arakawa

tags: alchemist, chaos, fullmetal, world
43 people liked it

""Sometimes it feels like the whole world is conspiring to destroy my house... "
- Shigure Sohma "
— Natsuki Takaya (Fruits Basket, Volume 2)

72 people liked it

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."
— Terry Pratchett

523 people liked it

"What the heart gives away is never gone ... It is kept in the hearts of others"
— Robin St. John

2 people liked it

"When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."
— Cory Doctorow

tags: brother, humor, little
44 people liked it

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
— Woody Allen

tags: death, fear, humor, life
2,850 people liked it

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
— Maya Angelou

tags: life
11,653 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,911 people liked it

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: enemies, forgiveness, strategy
6,528 people liked it

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: life
4,491 people liked it

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: be-yourself, confidence, individuality, those-who-matter
18,919 people liked it

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

tags: books, soul
11,538 people liked it

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
9,745 people liked it

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
— Albert Camus

tags: friends, friendship
9,838 people liked it

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: wisdom
9,613 people liked it

"Cuttlefish. Eh? Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish... flipper conories little sausages. Pin them up together and they will devour each other without a second thought... Human nature, in'it? Ooor... fish nature... So yes... we could hold up here well-provisioned and well-armed and half of us would be dead within the month! Which seems grim to me any way you slice it! Or... ahh... as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful... I rather doubt it. Can we in fact pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury Hell hath no? We cannot. Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in naufragio, we are left with but one option. I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth... Captain Swann. We must fight. "
— Jack Sparrow

7 people liked it