"Have a take--don't suck."
— Jim Rome

"The best way to know what's in the soup, is to boil yourself in it."
— Richard Preston

"And although I know that few will listen to or credit this, I think we are in a lost age, in which holiness and charity have been traded for the victory and penetration of knowledge, though all the knowledge in the world has not brought us any further than where we can go without it even in the outermost halls of grace. I believe that more is to be known and apprehended from the beauty of a face than in delving, no matter how deep, simply into how things work, no matter how marvelous that may be. The greatest substance of the world is immaterial, the province of the heart, and its study cannot be forced or reasoned. Merely to touch upon the edge of things in parsing their mechanics is to forswear their fullness, for the entry to this fullness lies not in science but in art. I cannot prove this, for it cannot be proven, but I claim, assert, and have seen it."
— Mark Helprin

"All rivers run full to the sea; those who are apart are brought together; the lost ones are redeemed; the dead come back to life; the perfectly blue days that have begun and ended in golden dimness continue, immobile and accessible; and, when all is perceived in such a way as to obviate time, justice becomes apparent not as something that will be, but something that is."
— Mark Helprin (Winter's Tale)

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature"
— Dave Barry

"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' "
— Dave Barry

"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
— Dave Barry

"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."
— Dave Barry

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
— Clemenza (The Godfather)

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. Today, October 2, a Sunday of rain and broken branches and leaf-clogged drains and slick streets, it stopped and summer was gone."
— A. Bartlett Giamatti

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
— William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

"From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day."
— William Shakespeare (Henry V)

"Dispute not with her: she is lunatic."
— William Shakespeare (The Tragedy of King Richard III)

"I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself."
— Dave Barry

"You get in, You shoot, You get out!"
— Chuck Yeager

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

"Whatever you are, be a good one."
— Abraham Lincoln

"Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose -- and you allow him to make war at pleasure. . . . If, today, he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, 'I see no probability of the British invading us'; but he will say to you, 'Be silent; I see it, if you don't.' "
— Abraham Lincoln

"From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 10 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away. "
— Raymond Chandler

"'there is no bad whiskey, there are only some whiskies that aren't as good as others'"
— Raymond Chandler

"Throw up into your typewriter every morning. Clean up every noon."
— Raymond Chandler

"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."
— Albert Einstein (The World As I See It)

"If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."
— C.S. Lewis

"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."
— C.S. Lewis

"I try to leave out the parts that people skip.

"
— Elmore Leonard

""Has anyone ever told you," I said, "that you coalesce reality?"
"No. They only say that I'm good in the sack."
"They are accurate but limited" I said. "And if you give me their names I'll kill them.""
— Robert B. Parker (Ceremony)

"Resist much. Obey little."
— Walt Whitman

"I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, and I have been circling for a thousand years, and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm, or a great song."
— Rainer Maria Rilke (Rainer Maria Rilke's Book of Hours: A Complete New Translation with Commentary)

"Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other. "
— Rainer Maria Rilke

"The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things."
— Rainer Maria Rilke

"Winter solitude-
in a world of one colour
the sound of the wind."
— Basho

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
— Alex Levine

"(Said of the Irish) "This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever."

(This quote may be misattributed as I have not yet found a reliable source that confirms that Freud made this comment about the Irish.)"
— Sigmund Freud

"Be the Ball Danny....Be the Ball!"
— Chevy Chase

"A donut without a hole...is a danish."
— Chevy Chase on SNL

"Which is nice"
— Carl (as played by Bill Murray in Caddyshack)

""The trouble with the world is that it's always one drink behind.""
— Humphrey Bogart

"Coffee's for closers"
— Alec Baldwin in Glenn Garry Glenross

"Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
[looks at Judge Smails, who's wearing the same hat]
Al Czervik: Oh, it looks good on you though. "
— Rodney Dangerfield (as Al Czervik in Caddyshack)

"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends."
— Walt Whitman

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
— Winston S. Churchill

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."
— Winston S. Churchill

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

"Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip!"
— Jimmy Buffett

"It's five o'clock somewhere."
— Jimmy Buffett song

"If someone asks if you're a god, you say YES."
— Ghostbusters

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
— Mark Twain

"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates."
— Mark Twain (Life on the Mississippi)

"It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable."
— Lucius Annaeus Seneca (Stoic Philosophy of Seneca Essays and Letters)

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
— Benjamin Franklin