Jennifer's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 69)

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,528 people liked it

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

tags: exercise, humor, laziness
5,801 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,528 people liked it

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion
3,838 people liked it

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
— Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

tags: humor, proverb
1,986 people liked it

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
— E.B. White

tags: activism, humor, life, pleasure
1,798 people liked it

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."
— Isaac Asimov

tags: humor, writing
414 people liked it

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
— Mark Twain

tags: education
3,056 people liked it

"'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, classic, reading
1,704 people liked it

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
— Mark Twain

tags: greatness
1,926 people liked it

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."
— Mark Twain

tags: death, life
1,640 people liked it

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it."
— Mark Twain

tags: censorship, food
1,008 people liked it

"There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics."
— Benjamin Disraeli

tags: truth
888 people liked it

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
— Mark Twain

tags: clothing
325 people liked it

"Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use."
— Mark Twain

tags: cats
40 people liked it

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."
— Mark Twain

tags: conscience, humor
140 people liked it

"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates."
— Mark Twain (Life on the Mississippi)

62 people liked it

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
— Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war
365 people liked it

"I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction."
— Clarence Darrow

tags: classic-insult, death, humor
52 people liked it

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
— Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor
387 people liked it

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

tags: books, soul
10,887 people liked it

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
— Mark Twain

tags: literacy
5,974 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,360 people liked it

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
— George Eliot

tags: inspirational
3,092 people liked it

"There is no friend as loyal as a book."
— Ernest Hemingway

tags: books, friends, novelist, quotes
1,595 people liked it

"In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them."
— Mark Twain

tags: bookroom, books, wisdom
1,325 people liked it

"Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character."
— Oscar Levant

9 people liked it

"Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember."
— Oscar Levant

9 people liked it

"I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients."
— Oscar Levant

14 people liked it

"I cannot live without books."
— Thomas Jefferson

tags: books
1,355 people liked it

"I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university."
— Albert Einstein

tags: life, respect
1,397 people liked it

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."
— Aristotle

tags: wisdom
1,621 people liked it

"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"
— Henry Ward Beecher

tags: books, humor
1,211 people liked it

"There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest."
— Elie Wiesel

tags: activism, ethics, justice, philosophy
948 people liked it

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: honesty, inspirational
5,295 people liked it

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
— Jerome K. Jerome

tags: humor, work
1,095 people liked it

"Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind."
— Henry James

tags: kindness
649 people liked it

"It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell."
— William Tecumseh Sherman

tags: war
22 people liked it

"Always do what you are afraid to do."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

tags: inspirational
1,055 people liked it

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
— Aristotle (Metaphysics)

tags: wisdom
861 people liked it

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers."
— Charles W. Eliot

tags: books, friends, reading, teachers
681 people liked it

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off."
— Stephen King (Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay)

tags: god, humor, religion
884 people liked it

"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive."
— James Baldwin

tags: books, empathy, pain, reading
533 people liked it

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
— George Bernard Shaw

tags: art, life
759 people liked it

"A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe."
— Madeleine L'Engle

tags: books, fire, star, universe
405 people liked it

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
— Ray Bradbury (Zen in the Art of Writing)

tags: writing
475 people liked it

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men."
— Joseph Conrad

tags: women
1,158 people liked it

"Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new after all."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: books, originality, unique
489 people liked it

"Let us read and let us dance — two amusements that will never do any harm to the world."
— Voltaire

tags: dance, dancing, reading
536 people liked it

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
— Marilyn Monroe (Marilyn: Her Life in Her Own Words)

tags: be, inspirational, yourself
1,525 people liked it

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