Nasarose's quotes

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"If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary."
— David Sedaris (Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays)

tags: sympathy
1,696 people liked it

"I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out."
— David Sedaris (Naked)

tags: changing, others
176 people liked it

"He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. "This shit’s like making love in a canoe."
"Excuse me?"
"It’s fucking near water."
— David Sedaris (Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim)

76 people liked it

"You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Survivor)

tags: future, life, past
363 people liked it

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. "
— Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)

tags: loss
618 people liked it

"People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy."
— Joss Whedon

tags: television, writing
222 people liked it

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn."
— Joss Whedon

tags: business, show
119 people liked it

"You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
— Joss Whedon

tags: humor
120 people liked it

"If you're going to make a science fiction movie, then have a hover craft chase, for God's sake."
— Joss Whedon

tags: humor
53 people liked it

"Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection if any thing happens to her I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly there might be tears."
— Joss Whedon (Firefly Official Companion, Vol. 1)

21 people liked it

"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon

tags: humor, joss, whedon
105 people liked it

"You're kidding ... what a crazy random happenstance!"
— Joss Whedon

34 people liked it

"This is the captain we have a little problem with our entry sequence so we may experiance some slight turbulance, then explode."
— Joss Whedon (Serenity Official Visual Companion)

31 people liked it

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living"
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

tags: life
608 people liked it

"I think and think and think, I‘ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."
— Jonathan Safran Foer

138 people liked it

"One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated: A Novel)

tags: family
107 people liked it

" Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!-- Oscar"
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

tags: humor
48 people liked it

"... I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything"
— Jonathan Safran Foer

tags: personal
80 people liked it

"The bruises go away, and so does how you hate, and so does the feeling that everything you receive from life is something you have earned."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)

55 people liked it

"When you look up 'hilarious' in the dictionary, there's a picture of you."
— Jonathan Safran Foer

17 people liked it

"I took the world into me, rearranged it, and sent it back out as a question: "Do you like me?""
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

49 people liked it

"I don't think that there are any limits to how excellent we could make life seem."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)

40 people liked it

"Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

125 people liked it

"I shook my tambourine the whole time, because it helped me remember that even though I was going through different neighborhoods, I was still me."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

14 people liked it

"Just because you're an atheist, that doesn't mean you wouldn't love for things to have reasons for why they are."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

46 people liked it

"we burned with love for ourselves, all of us, starters of the fire we suffered- our love was the affliction for which only our love was the cure"
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)

14 people liked it

""What did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think. I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.""
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

16 people liked it

"Songs are as sad as the listener."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

43 people liked it

"Family are the people who must make you feel ashamed when you are deserving of shame. "
— Jonathan Safran Foer

5 people liked it

"People who claim they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. It's people who claim that they're good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of. "
— Gregory Maguire (Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West)

238 people liked it

"Happy endings are still endings."
— Gregory Maguire (Son of a Witch: A Novel)

67 people liked it

"Remember this: Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny."
— Gregory Maguire (Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West)

82 people liked it

"I urge you all today, especially today during these times of chaos and war, to love yourself without reservations and to love each other without restraint. Unless you're into leather."
— Margaret Cho

tags: bdsm
22 people liked it

"Just because you are blind, and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist."
— Margaret Cho

tags: beauty, blindness
27 people liked it

"If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach."
— Margaret Cho

tags: kindness
9 people liked it

"The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble."
— Ellen DeGeneres

tags: aliens, earth, humanity, outer, space, universe
56 people liked it

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."
— Ellen DeGeneres

tags: animal, animals, deer, humor, hunting, killing, protection, taxidermy
121 people liked it

"Why wait, procrastinate now...."
— Ellen DeGeneres

tags: procrastination
66 people liked it

"Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.'"
— Ellen DeGeneres (My Point...And I Do Have One)

tags: lyrics, music, singing, wrong
105 people liked it

"In the beggining there was nothing. Then God said 'let there be light' and there was light...............And there was still nothing. But you could see a whole lot better."
— Ellen Degenerous

4 people liked it

"We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about?'"
— Eddie Izzard

14 people liked it

"You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants."
— Eddie Izzard

tags: humor, money, restaurant, salmon
9 people liked it

"So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a
relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!"
— Eddie Izzard

tags: anerica, bill-clinton, clinton, lying, native-americans, president, president-clinton
16 people liked it

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: books, reading
2,049 people liked it

"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict."
— Lemony Snicket (The Grim Grotto)

tags: life
884 people liked it

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: fate, humor
1,027 people liked it

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: funny
755 people liked it

"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats."
— Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window)

tags: allergies, cats, humor
481 people liked it

"Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear."
— Lemony Snicket (The Carnivorous Carnival)

tags: humor, miracles
331 people liked it

"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting."
— Lemony Snicket (The Grim Grotto)

347 people liked it

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