"When a man cannot chose, he ceases to be a man."
— Anthony Burgess (A Clockwork Orange)

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."
— Anthony Burgess

"To be left alone is the most precious thing one can ask of the modern world."
— Anthony Burgess (Homage to QWERTYUIOP)

"I know that pain is the most important thing in the universes. Greater than survival, greater than love, greater even than the beauty it brings about. For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. And without these, life is endless, hopeless, doomed and damned.
Adult. You have become adult.
-- From the title story "Paingod"
— Harlan Ellison (Paingod and Other Delusions)

"The only thing worth writing about is people. People. Human beings. Men and women whose individuality must be created, line by line, insight by insight. If you do not do it, the story is a failure. [...] There is no nobler chore in the universe than holding up the mirror of reality and turning it slightly, so we have a new and different perception of the commonplace, the everyday, the 'normal', the obvious. People are reflected in the glass. The fantasy situation into which you thrust them is the mirror itself. And what we are shown should illuminate and alter our perception of the world around us. Failing that, you have failed totally."
— Harlan Ellison

"And [Asimov]'ll sign anything, hardbacks, softbacks, other people's books, scraps of paper. Inevitably someone handed him a blank check on the occasion when I was there, and he signed that without as much as a waver to his smile — except that he signed: 'Harlan Ellison.'"
— Isaac Asimov (Murder at the ABA)

"Like a wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we were, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment."
— Harlan Ellison

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."
— Harlan Ellison

"The passion for revenge should never blind you to the pragmatics of the situation. There are some people who are so blighted by their past, so warped by experience and the pull of that silken cord, that they never free themselves of the shadows that live in the time machine...

And if there is a kind thought due them, it may be found contained in the words of the late Gerald Kersh, who wrote:"... there are men whom one hates until a certain moment when one sees, through a chink in their armour, the writhing of something nailed down and in torment."
— Harlan Ellison (The Essential Ellison: A 50 Year Retrospective)

"The world is turning into a cesspool of imbeciles."
— Harlan Ellison

"I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid"
— Harlan Ellison

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
— Harlan Ellison

"Don't start an argument with somebody who has a microphone when you don't. They'll make you look like chopped liver."
— Harlan Ellison

"Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself."
— Harlan Ellison

"Thus, from admiration of one wise and innocent child, and from a misheard remark, the process that not even Aristotle could codify was triggered.
Where do you get your ideas?
I purposely mishear things."
— Harlan Ellison

"You must never be afraid to go there."
— Harlan Ellison

"You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant."
— Harlan Ellison

"be careful of monsters with teeth"
— Harlan Ellison

"I was the green monkey, the pariah. And I had no friends. Not just a few friends, or one good friend, or grudging acceptance by other misfits and outcasts. I was alone. All stinking alone, without even an imaginary playmate."
— Harlan Ellison

""Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.""
— Issac Asimov

"There is nothing frightening about an eternal dreamless sleep. Surely it is better than eternal torment in Hell and eternal boredom in Heaven."
— Isaac Asimov

"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
— Isaac Asimov

""Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent." "
— Issac Asimov

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
— issac asimov

"There's no such thing as civilization. The word just means the art of living in cities."
— Roger Zelazny (The Great Book of Amber)

"A totally nondenominational prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that I be forgiven for anything I may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.  Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which I may be eligible after the destruction of my body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen."
— Roger Zelazny (Creatures of Light and Darkness)

"Why could you not have left me as I was, in the sea of being?"

"Because the world has need of your humility, your piety, your great teaching and your Machiavellian scheming."
— Roger Zelazny

"'Once a Buddha, always a Buddha, Sam. Dust off some of your old parables. You have about fifteen minutes.'

Sam held out his hand. "Give me some tobacco and a paper.""
— Roger Zelazny (Lord of Light)

"The day of battle dawned pink as the fresh-bitten thigh of a maiden."
— Roger Zelazny (Lord of Light)

"I'm a lost soul. We do wail."
— Roger Zelazny (Jack of Shadows)

"No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words."
— Roger Zelazny (Lord of Light)

"Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects."
— Roger Zelazny

"I like libraries. It makes me feel comfortable and secure to have walls of words,
beautiful and wise, all around me. I always feel better when I can see that there is
something to hold back the shadows."
— Roger Zelazny

"Nobody steals books but your friends."
— Roger Zelazny (The Guns of Avalon)

"Death is the only god who comes when you call."
— Roger Zelazny

"Love is a negative form of hatred."
— Roger Zelazny (This Immortal)

"The death of an illusion tends to disconcert."
— Roger Zelazny (This Immortal)

"There's really nothing quite like someone's wanting you dead to make you want to go on living."
— Roger Zelazny (This Immortal)

""I think it's a shame that something as creative and vital to the nature of the human species as story-telling is largely controlled by the soulless cretins known as publishers." "
— Piers Anthony

"And if there's a moral there, I don't know what it is, save maybe that we should take our goodbyes whenever we can."
— Neil Gaiman (The Sandman Vol. 5: A Game of You)

"The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?"
— Terry Pratchett (Monstrous Regiment)

"Everywhere I look, I see something holy."
— Terry Pratchett (Carpe Jugulum)

"I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted."
— Terry Pratchett

"Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs."
— Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)

"It's no wonder most religions are born in the desert, because when men lay beneath that boundless night sky and look up at the infinite expanse of creation they have an uncontrollable urge to put something in the way"
— Terry Pratchett

"He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at."
— Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

"I'd rather be a climbing ape than a falling angel."
— Terry Pratchett

"Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon..."
— Terry Pratchett

"'It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,' he said. 'Have you thought of going into teaching?'"
— Terry Pratchett (Mort)

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
— Terry Pratchett (Jingo)