"Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character."
— Oscar Levant

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it."
— Groucho Marx

"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
— Groucho Marx

"Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
— Groucho Marx

"When I have a little money, I buy books; and if I have any left, I buy food and clothes."
— Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus