Nat > Nat's Quotes

(showing 1-30 of 154)
« previous 1 3 4 5 6
sort by

  • #1
    Neil Gaiman
    “I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

    I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

    I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

    I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

    I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

    I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

    I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

    I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

    I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

    I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

    I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”
    Neil Gaiman, American Gods


  • #2
    Marilyn Monroe
    “This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
    Marilyn Monroe


  • #3
    Neil Gaiman
    “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
    Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones


  • #4
    Jonathan Safran Foer
    “Songs are as sad as the listener.”
    Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close


  • #5
    Jarod Kintz
    “I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
”
    Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life


  • #6
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein


  • #7
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    Steve Martin


  • #8
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    Woody Allen


  • #9
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good about Themselves But Can't Read, Write, or Add


  • #10
    Albert Einstein
    “The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.”
    Albert Einstein


  • #11
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    W.C. Fields


  • #12
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters


  • #13
    Albert Einstein
    “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
    Albert Einstein


  • #14
    Laurie Halse Anderson
    “THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

    1. We are here to help you.
    2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
    3. The dress code will be enforced.
    4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
    5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
    6. We expect more of you here.
    7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
    8. Your schedule was created with you in mind.
    9. Your locker combination is private.
    10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

    TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

    1. You will use algebra in your adult lives.
    2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
    3. Students must stay on campus during lunch.
    4. The new text books will arrive any day now.
    5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
    6. We are enforcing the dress code.
    7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
    8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
    9. There is nothing wrong with summer school.
    10. We want to hear what you have to say.”
    Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak


  • #15
    Mark Twain
    “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
    Mark Twain


  • #16
    Lemony Snicket
    “I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril


  • #17
    Lemony Snicket
    “If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish


  • #18
    George Carlin
    “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
    George Carlin


  • #19
    Edgar Allan Poe
    “I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.”
    Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia


  • #20
    Rick Riordan
    “Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?"
    "Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?"
    "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart.”
    Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse


  • #21
    Oscar Wilde
    “I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #22
    Oscar Wilde
    “Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
    Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist


  • #23
    Oscar Wilde
    “Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.”
    Oscar Wilde, The Canterville Ghost


  • #24
    Oscar Wilde
    “With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon, who could not be happy?”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #25
    Oscar Wilde
    “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #26
    Oscar Wilde
    “Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #27
    Oscar Wilde
    “America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #28
    Oscar Wilde
    “Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #29
    Oscar Wilde
    “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #30
    Oscar Wilde
    “Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.”
    Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray




Rss
« previous 1 3 4 5 6