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  • Rick Riordan
    "Once she was gone, I knelt next to Annabeth and felt her forehead. She was still burning up.

    "You're cute when you're worried," she muttered. "Your eyebrows get all scrunched together."

    "You are not going to die while I owe you a favor," I said. "Why did you take that knife?"

    "You would've done the same for me."

    It was true. I guess we both knew it. Still, I felt like somebody was poking my heart with a cold metal rod."
    — Rick Riordan (The Last Olympian)


  • Rick Riordan
    "Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.

    "That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."

    "Which one is me?" I asked.

    "The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.

    "Oh, shut up." "
    — Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse)


  • Rick Riordan
    ""Stop running, you fools!" Kronos yelled. "Stand and ACKK!"

    That last part was because a panicked Hyperborean giant stumbled backward and sat on top of him. The lord of time disappeared under a giant blue butt."
    — Rick Riordan (The Last Olympian)


  • Markus Zusak
    "
    "He lay with yellow hair and closed eyes, and the book thief ran toward him and fell down. She dropped the black book. "Rudy," she sobbed, "wake up...." She grabbed him by his shirt and gave him just the slightest disbelieving shake. "Wake up, Rudy," and now, as the sky went on heating and showering ash, Liesel was holding Rudy Steiner's shirt by the front. "Rudy, please." The tears grappled with her face. "Rudy, please, wake up, Goddamn it, wake up, I love you. Come on, Rudy, come on, Jesse Owens, don't you know I love you, wake up, wake up, wake up....""
    — Markus Zusak (The Book Thief)


  • Rick Riordan
    ""Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."

    Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"

    Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"

    "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."

    Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."......I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."

    "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.

    "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.""
    — Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse)


  • Rick Riordan
    "What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War-Athena versus Poseidon?"

    "I don't know. I just know one thing- I'll be fighting next to you."

    "Why?"

    "Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?"
    — Rick Riordan (The Lightning Thief)


  • Rick Riordan
    "It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up."
    — Rick Riordan


  • Rick Riordan
    "You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed."
    — Rick Riordan (The Battle of the Labyrinth)


  • ""Fine. Why'd Apollo want you to stick out your tongue?"
    "He's crazy? How am I supposed to know?" Max snapped.
    "I know why," Marianne said calmly, her face totally blank.
    "Care to enlighten us?" Raphael suggested when Marianne was silent.
    "He was seeing if he was right for loving his child."
    "Max is your boyfriend?" Lexi asked. Marianne hit her.
    "No! He meant for Raphael! Couldn't you tell Apollo thought he was gay?"
    She and Lexi cracked up at the shocked expression on Raphael's face.
    "
    — Percy Jackson Geeks Roleplay


  • Stephenie Meyer
    "I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her."
    — Stephenie Meyer (New Moon)


  • Jack Handey
    "If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what really throws you into a panic."
    — Jack Handey


  • William Shakespeare
    "This above all: to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man."
    — William Shakespeare (Hamlet)


  • "Had you fought like a man you would not have to die like a dog.
    "
    — Anne Bonny


  • J.K. Rowling
    "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.

    Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

    Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.

    Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."
    — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)


  • Rick Riordan
    "The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us."
    — Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse)


  • Rick Riordan
    "Families are mess. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related, for better or worse...and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum."
    — Rick Riordan


  • J.K. Rowling
    "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
    — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)


  • "So when you're cold
    From the inside out
    And don't know what to do,
    Remember love and friendship,
    And warmth will come to you."
    — Stephen Cosgrove (Gnome from Nome)


  • O. Henry
    "No friendship is an accident. "
    — O. Henry (Heart of the West)


  • Snoop Dogg
    "It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none. "
    — Snoop Dogg


  • "I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff. "
    — Jon Katz


  • Dean Koontz
    "Never leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life--and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next."
    — Dean Koontz (Fear Nothing)


  • Kate DiCamillo
    "There is nothing sweeter in this sad world than the sound of someone you love calling your name."
    — Kate DiCamillo (The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup and a Spool of Thread)


  • Lemony Snicket
    "It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."
    — Lemony Snicket


  • Marcus Tullius Cicero
    "A room without books is like a body without a soul."
    — Marcus Tullius Cicero


  • Albert Einstein
    "Everything must be made as simple as possible. But not simpler."
    — Albert Einstein


  • J.K. Rowling
    "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
    — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)


  • E.B. White
    "It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer."
    — E.B. White (Charlotte's Web)


  • "One day there was a genie who appeared in front of three boys. The genie said that she would grant them each a a wish. The first boy said that he wished that he was smart. POOF! He got his wish. The second boy said that he wished that he was smarter than the first boy. POOF! He got his wish. The third boy said that he wished that he was smarter than the first two boys. POOF! He became a girl."
    — The little girl in "Corina, Corina"


  • Mark Twain
    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    — Mark Twain


  • Langston Hughes
    "Hold fast to dreams,
    For if dreams die
    Life is a broken-winged bird,
    That cannot fly."
    — Langston Hughes


  • Albert Einstein
    "What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right."
    — Albert Einstein


  • Stephenie Meyer
    "It's an off day when somebody doesn't tell me how edible I smell."
    — Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)


  • "let's recap we broke into the white house and buckingham palace, stole a page out of the president's super secret book and actually kidnapped the president.Did i miss anything? What are we gonna do next short sheet the pope's bed?"
    — Riley Poole


  • David Mamet
    "We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
    — David Mamet (Boston Marriage)


  • Stephenie Meyer
    "Edward - I wasn't about to send you off alone. With your luck, not even the black box would survive.
    Bella - So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?
    Edward - Why is the plane crashing?
    He was trying to hide a smile now.
    Bella - The pilots are passed out drunk.
    Edward - Easy. I'd fly the plane.
    Of course. I pursed my lips and tried again.
    Bella - Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth.
    Edward - I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.
    I stared at him wordlessly.
    "What?" he whispered."
    — Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)


  • Dave Barry
    "Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. "
    — Dave Barry


  • Bill Watterson
    "I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?... Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television?"
    — Bill Watterson (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes)


  • Jack Handey
    "Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter.

    Wait. . .

    It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail."
    — Jack Handey


  • Jack Handey
    "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
    — Jack Handey


  • Janet Evanovich
    "Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
    Eddie DeChooch"
    — Janet Evanovich (Seven Up)


  • Jack Handey
    "If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat.

    Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I thought you said `inspection'."

    They'd probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it."
    — Jack Handey


  • Jack Handey
    "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is...and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them."
    — Jack Handey


  • Jack Handey
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
    — Jack Handey


  • Dr. Seuss
    "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
    — Dr. Seuss


  • George W. Bush
    "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
    — George W. Bush


  • Joss Whedon
    "If you're going to make a science fiction movie, then have a hover craft chase, for God's sake."
    — Joss Whedon


  • Sue Grafton
    "Thinking is hard work, which is why you don't see many people doing it."
    — Sue Grafton


  • "Brain : I shall pollute the water supply with this DNAdefibuliser, turning everyone into mindless slaves.
    Pinky : What about the people who drink bottled water?
    Brain : Pinky, people who pay 5 dollars for a bottle of water are already mindless slaves.
    "
    — (From Cartoon Pinky and the Brain)


  • Douglas Coupland
    "TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public."
    — Douglas Coupland (JPod)



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