elyse's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 86)

"There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon."
— Christopher Moore (Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings)

tags: -fluke-, humor
95 people liked it

"Librarian is a service occupation. Gas station attendant of the mind."
— Richard Powers

tags: librarians
18 people liked it

"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain."
— Louisa May Alcott (Work: A Story of Experience)

tags: books
856 people liked it

"You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians."
— Graham Chapman

tags: libraries
70 people liked it

"‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand.’ First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That’s what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blow job or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have a feeling that they can’t hide."
— Rachel Cohn (Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist)

91 people liked it

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams

tags: deadlines, humor, work
5,461 people liked it

"You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children."
— Madeleine L'Engle

tags: books, children, difficult, grown-ups, write, writers, writing
3,100 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,818 people liked it

"And on the subject of burning books: I want to congratulate librarians, not famous for their physical strength or their powerful political connections or their great wealth, who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove certain books from their shelves, and have refused to reveal to thought police the names of persons who have checked out those titles.

So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries."
— Kurt Vonnegut (A Man Without a Country)

tags: america, books, politics
1,043 people liked it

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,804 people liked it

"It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: books, reading
2,735 people liked it

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: books, reading
2,151 people liked it

"Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live."
— Gustave Flaubert

tags: books, inspirational, life, reading
965 people liked it

"Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: humor, reading
845 people liked it

"Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing."
— Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird)

tags: reading
578 people liked it

"Let us read and let us dance — two amusements that will never do any harm to the world."
— Voltaire

tags: dance, dancing, reading
566 people liked it

"A good library will never be too neat or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: libraries, reading
459 people liked it

"Books are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they’ll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they always love you back."
— John Green (An Abundance of Katherines)

tags: books, reading
414 people liked it

"If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!"
— John Waters

tags: books, fuck, profanity, reading
359 people liked it

"If you take a book with you on a journey,...an odd thing happens: The book begins collecting your memories. And forever after you have only to open that book to be back where you first read it. It will all come into your mind with the very first words: the sights you saw in that place, what it smelled like, the ice cream you ate while you were reading it...yes, books are like flypaper--memories cling to the printed page better than anything else."
— Cornelia Funke (Inkheart)

tags: books
351 people liked it

"Isn't it odd how much fatter a book gets when you've read it several times?" Mo had said..."As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower...both strange and familiar."
— Cornelia Funke (Inkspell)

tags: books, feelings, reading, thoughts
344 people liked it

"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky."
— Alan Moore

tags: life
879 people liked it

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
— Douglas Adams

tags: fiction, humor, science
351 people liked it

"... I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room."
— Ray Bradbury

tags: humour, individuality, science-fiction
108 people liked it

"You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
— Joss Whedon

tags: humor
126 people liked it

"I'll take crazy over stupid any day."
— Joss Whedon

117 people liked it

"This is the captain we have a little problem with our entry sequence so we may experiance some slight turbulance, then explode."
— Joss Whedon (Serenity Official Visual Companion)

33 people liked it

"There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'."
— Joss Whedon

tags: fandom, fanfiction, fantasy
18 people liked it

"Loneliness is about the scariest thing out there."
— Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

12 people liked it

"Don't give me songs, give me something to sing about!"
— Joss Whedon (Once More with Feeling)

12 people liked it

"Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes
They've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be Bunnies!"
— Joss Whedon (Once More with Feeling)

tags: humor
6 people liked it

"Blessed are the dumbfucks."
— Christopher Moore (Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal)

80 people liked it

"Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?"

And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine."
— Christopher Moore (You Suck: A Love Story)

58 people liked it

"Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter."
— Christopher Moore

tags: law
52 people liked it

"Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car."
— Christopher Moore (Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings)

tags: christopher, fluke, moore
49 people liked it

"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

tags: books, christmas, socks
156 people liked it

"Well, you're expelling us aren't you?" said Ron.
"Not today, Mr. Weasley."
Snape looked as though Christmas had been canceled."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

105 people liked it

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. "
— George Carlin

tags: christmas, sex
96 people liked it

"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all thirty feet tall."
— Larry Wilde

24 people liked it

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
— Jane Austen (Northanger Abbey)

tags: books, classic, humor
5,677 people liked it

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, friends, friendship, life
3,987 people liked it

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be some kind of library."
— Jorge Luis Borges

tags: books, library
3,243 people liked it

"Fairy tales, are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated."
— G.K. Chesterton

tags: books, inspirational
2,628 people liked it

"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"
— Henry Ward Beecher

tags: books, humor
1,242 people liked it

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: be-yourself, confidence, individuality, those-who-matter
18,718 people liked it

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
12,398 people liked it

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
1,702 people liked it

"If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music."
— Albert Einstein

tags: music
576 people liked it

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."
— Albert Einstein

476 people liked it