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Ironymay's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 102)

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
— Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

tags: humor, proverb
1,984 people liked it

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: be-yourself, confidence, individuality, those-who-matter
17,630 people liked it

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing
15,589 people liked it

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
11,656 people liked it

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

tags: books, soul
10,826 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,242 people liked it

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
— Robert Frost

tags: life
6,872 people liked it

"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."
— Malcolm X

tags: belief, integrity
6,348 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,503 people liked it

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
— Oscar Wilde (Lady Windermere's Fan)

tags: inspirational, optimism, perception, pessimism
4,864 people liked it

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: honesty, inspirational
5,219 people liked it

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: fantasy
3,837 people liked it

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."
— William Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well)

tags: do-wrong, love, trust, wrong
3,648 people liked it

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
— Douglas Adams

tags: life
3,607 people liked it

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

tags: humor, scifi
3,218 people liked it

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
— Mark Twain

tags: education
3,040 people liked it

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people
3,079 people liked it

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."
— Neil Gaiman (The Sandman Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones)

tags: love
2,577 people liked it

"I cannot live without books."
— Thomas Jefferson

tags: books
1,352 people liked it

"When I have a little money, I buy books; and if I have any left, I buy food and clothes."
— Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus

tags: books
1,324 people liked it

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'"
— John Greenleaf Whittier (Maud Muller - Pamphlet)

tags: life, words
1,206 people liked it

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."
— Kurt Vonnegut (Mother Night)

tags: action, attitude, choice, imagination, inspiration, life, pretend
958 people liked it

"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane."
— Philip K. Dick

tags: insanity, madness, pkd, reality
945 people liked it

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music."
— George Carlin

tags: dance, dancing, music
923 people liked it

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."
— Terry Pratchett (The Last Continent)

tags: death, humor, life
847 people liked it

"I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: heaven, humor
851 people liked it

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."
— Arthur O'Shaughnessy (Poems of Arthur O'Shaughnessy)

tags: dreams, music
781 people liked it

"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before."
— Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory
735 people liked it

"Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal."
— Neil Gaiman

748 people liked it

"A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar."
— Carolyn G. Heilbrun

tags: books, humor
534 people liked it

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
— Douglas Adams

tags: learning
316 people liked it

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
— Robert A. Heinlein

tags: malice, stupidity
326 people liked it

"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet."
— Emily Dickinson

tags: life
326 people liked it

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
— Woody Allen

tags: art, humor, life
330 people liked it

"Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?"
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: humor, philosophy
387 people liked it

"She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it)."
— Lewis Carroll (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass)

333 people liked it

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
— George Carlin

tags: humor
339 people liked it

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"
— Ernest Hemingway

tags: sleep
370 people liked it

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
— Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, extraterrestrials
358 people liked it

"These woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
— Robert Frost

356 people liked it

"Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

354 people liked it

"And so it goes..."
— Kurt Vonnegut

364 people liked it

"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."
— Kurt Vonnegut

376 people liked it

"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."
— Tom Robbins

tags: humor, magic
359 people liked it

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't to forget make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."
— Neil Gaiman

381 people liked it

"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."
— Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril)

tags: humor
408 people liked it

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

tags: british, commentary, fiction, humor, science, social, thumb, towel
407 people liked it

"To be nobody but
yourself in a world
which is doing its best day and night to make you like
everybody else means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight and never stop fighting."
— e.e. cummings

tags: poetry
426 people liked it

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
— David Sedaris

tags: humor, perception, retardation
407 people liked it

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
— Hunter S. Thompson

406 people liked it

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