"Reality continues to ruin my life."
— Bill Watterson (The Complete Calvin and Hobbes)

"Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg!
[Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.]

Hobbes: Look, it's just a game.
Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!"
— Bill Watterson

"I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know."
— Bill Watterson (The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes)

"I think the only way to get through this life is laughing hard and constantly, mostly at myself."
— Shannon Hale

"No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read."
— Lemony Snicket

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

"Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly."
— Cornelia Funke (Inkheart)

"Books have to be heavy because the whole world's inside them."
— Cornelia Funke (Inkheart)

"It's an off day when somebody doesn't tell me how edible I smell."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Stupid, shiny Volvo owner."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving?"
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Fall down again, Bella?'
'No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face.'"
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

"Edward - I wasn't about to send you off alone. With your luck, not even the black box would survive.
Bella - So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?
Edward - Why is the plane crashing?
He was trying to hide a smile now.
Bella - The pilots are passed out drunk.
Edward - Easy. I'd fly the plane.
Of course. I pursed my lips and tried again.
Bella - Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth.
Edward - I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.
I stared at him wordlessly.
"What?" he whispered."
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather - have some respect.

- Bella Swan"
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Jacob: "May the best MAN win."
Edward: "Sounds about right, pup!""
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

"Take it easy- my truck is a senior citizen."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what's waiting for you at home! "
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

"My foot inched towards the gas pedal...one little bump wouldn't hurt any of them, just that glossy paint job. I revved the engine."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Story telling was the most honored of all talents, for it benefited everyone."
— Stephenie Meyer (The Host)

"I have foreseen..."
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want."
— Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing.
"Okay," said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned.
"That can be his Indian name," I suggested."
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

"A house without books is like a room without windows."
— Horace Mann

"Inigo: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die. "
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Inigo: I donna suppose you could speed things up?

Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.

Inigo: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Have fun storming the castle!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Is this a kissing book?"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhyming now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Bad Guy: It's Porthos the Pirate! AAAAH!
[the bad guys jump overboard]
D'Artagnan: Pirate?
Porthos: I told you I was famous.
"
— *the three musketeers

"If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that."
— Stephen King

"Calvin (to Suzy)- You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"
— Bill Watterson

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"It unscrews the other way."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"There's always room for a story that can transport people to another place."
— J.K. Rowling

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"(Buttercup kisses the senile King)
The King: What was that for?

Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.

The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Who says life is fair, where is that written?"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Write the kind of story you would like to read. People will give you all sorts of advice about writing, but if you are not writing something you like, no one else will like it either."
— Meg Cabot

"Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice."
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

"“Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule.”"
— James Patterson (The Angel Experiment)

"WARNING
If you dare to read this story, you become part of the Experiment
"
— James Patterson (The Angel Experiment)

"Go have fun. Bag a few mountain lions for me."
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

"I suppose a lot of teenage girls feel invisible sometimes, like they just disappear. Well, that's me—Cammie the Chameleon. But I'm luckier than most because, at my school, that's considered cool.

I go to a school for spies. " "
— Ally Carter (I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You)

"If you've a story, make sure it's a whole one, with details close to hand. It's the difference between a good lie and getting caught."
— Tamora Pierce (Trickster's Choice)

"Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who i was."
— D.J. MacHale

"This wind is mystical yet tame, and it sings to me."
— Marianne Curley (Old Magic)

"Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life. "
— Christopher Paolini (Eragon)