"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
— Charles Dickens

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
— Edith Wharton

"Calvin (to Suzy)- You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"
— Bill Watterson

"Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it."
— Rodney Dangerfield

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

" "One ring to show our love, One ring to bind us, One ring to seal our love and forever to entwine us""
— Evangaline (a computer persona)

""That man was fast" -Walter Dix, answering interview question about Usain Bolt's world record breaking Olympic 100-meter sprint."
— Walter Dix

"Knowledge is power; and power is best shared among friends. "
— Otis Chandler

"He was a thundering paradox of a man, noble and ignoble, inspiring and outrageous, arrogant and shy, the best of me and the worst of men, the most protean, most ridiculous, and most sublime. No more baffling, exasperating soldier ever wore a uniform. Flamboyant, imperious, and apocalyptic, he carried the plumage of a flamingo, could not acknowledge errors, and tried to cover up his mistakes with sly, childish tricks. Yet he was also endowed with great personal charm, a will of iron, and a soaring intellect. Unquestionably he was the most gifted man-at arms- this nation has produced. -William Manchester on Douglas MacArthur"
— William Raymond Manchester

"Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal."
— Neil Gaiman

"Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains."
— Winston S. Churchill

"To the union of all honest men."
— Aaron Burr

"It's sick and twisted and violent. Other than that it is totally G rated."
— Elizabeth Cruickshank

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
— William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
— Mark Twain

"Kallor said: 'I walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I have commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I have spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'
'Yes,' said Caladan Brood, 'you never learn.'"
— Steven Erikson