Brittney's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 97)

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
— Jim Henson

tags: humor
5,905 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,644 people liked it

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
— Terry Pratchett (Diggers)

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
3,067 people liked it

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
— Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women
3,946 people liked it

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, health, humor, misprints
2,470 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,784 people liked it

"The Guide says that there is an art to flying,” said Ford, “or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
— Douglas Adams

tags: flight, flying, hg2g, humor
1,216 people liked it

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion
4,122 people liked it

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

tags: humor, work
3,871 people liked it

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
— Thomas Stephen Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational
1,707 people liked it

"Always laugh and smile you never know who might be watching you! :)"
— why do you ask this?

1 person liked it

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."
— Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods
534 people liked it

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music."
— George Carlin

tags: dance, dancing, music
1,012 people liked it

"Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it."
— Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour
263 people liked it

"You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. "
— Bullet Tooth Tony (Snatch)

tags: humour
48 people liked it

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

tags: humour, wisdom
344 people liked it

"Soap is to the body what laughter is to the soul"
— Yiddish proverb

tags: humour
31 people liked it

"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
— Rodney Dangerfield

tags: funny, humour, infidelity, parenthood, parenting, sexuality
163 people liked it

"Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle."
— Carl Hiaasen (Nature Girl)

tags: humour
41 people liked it

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."
— Charles Dickens

tags: chocolate, friendship
2,103 people liked it

"Remember, if at first you don't succeed - never take up sky-diving."
— Les Barker

tags: humour
9 people liked it

"I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain."
— Jane Wagner (The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe)

tags: humour, language
21 people liked it

"You have that vacant look in your eyes that says 'hold my head to your ear and you will hear the sea'."
— Londo Mollari - Babylon 5

tags: humour
10 people liked it

"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate up hill"
— Blade

tags: humour, irony
4 people liked it

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: cry, crying, experience, happiness, joy, life, optimism, sadness, smile, smiling
15,281 people liked it

"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: happiness
2,827 people liked it

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."
— Dalai Lama XIV

tags: happiness, inspirational
1,148 people liked it

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
— Ernest Hemingway

tags: happiness
747 people liked it

"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
— John Lennon

tags: happiness, procrastination, time
1,778 people liked it

"Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get"
— W.P. Kinsella

tags: happiness, success
201 people liked it

"Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend."
— Sarah Dessen (Someone Like You)

tags: friendship
1,412 people liked it

"A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling. "
— Arthur Brisbane

tags: friendship
163 people liked it

"I fall asleep with my friends around me, the only place i know. I'm going to call this home."
— Jimmy Eat World

tags: friendship, lyrics, music
184 people liked it

"Its easy to make frends if you let pepul laff at you."
— Daniel Keyes (Flowers for Algernon)

tags: friendship
26 people liked it

"You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't."
— Christopher Moore (Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal)

tags: first-sentence
61 people liked it

"We went to the moon to have fun, but the moon turned out to completely suck."
— M.T. Anderson (Feed)

tags: first-sentence
46 people liked it

"Without music, life would be a mistake."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: inspirational, music, philosophy
5,882 people liked it

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
— William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

tags: food, love, music
1,207 people liked it

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."
— Bob Marley

tags: music
2,259 people liked it

"the past is only the future with the lights on."
— Mark Hoppus ("Blink 182")

tags: music
176 people liked it

"Play it fuckin' loud!"
— Bob Dylan

tags: fuck, music, profanity, rock
330 people liked it

"I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me."
— Bob Dylan

tags: chaos, dylan, music
198 people liked it

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: best, life, love, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
11,310 people liked it

"If you just realized what I just realized,
Then we'll be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'll never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Oh oh oh oh oh oh...

But I can't spell it out for you,
No its never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.
"
— Colbie Caillat

5 people liked it

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
— Charlie Chaplin

tags: philosophy
2,449 people liked it

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."
— May Sarton

tags: authenticity, life, philosophy, self
904 people liked it

"If you ride both sides of the fence, all you're gonna get is a wedgie."
— a great PHILosopher

tags: humor, philosophy
133 people liked it

"You know, solving other peoples' problems is easy. The only person I can't seem to figure out is myself"
— Thomas James Higgins

tags: humor, philosophy
158 people liked it

"Don't bame anyone for YOUR mistakes, jsut accept that you messed up and you won't owe anyone anything."
— My thoughts

1 person liked it

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"
— Dr. Seuss

tags: humor
563 people liked it

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