"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
— William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
— Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

"If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you."
— Terry Pratchett

"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain."
— Louisa May Alcott (Work: A Story of Experience)

"I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! -- When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library."
— Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
— Dorothy Parker

"So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall."
— Roald Dahl

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be some kind of library."
— Jorge Luis Borges

"There is no friend as loyal as a book."
— Ernest Hemingway

"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"
— Henry Ward Beecher

"Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn't carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life."
— Stephen King

"It is clear that the books owned the shop rather than the other way about. Everywhere they had run wild and taken possession of their habitat, breeding and multiplying, and clearly lacking any strong hand to keep them down. "
— Agatha Christie

"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."
— P.G. Wodehouse

"There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature."
— P.G. Wodehouse

"I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping."
— P.G. Wodehouse

"If he had a mind, there was something on it."
— P.G. Wodehouse

"Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort."
— Jane Austen

"There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color."
— Scott Adams (Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland)

"If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts."
— Scott Adams (Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel)

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? "
— Scott Adams

"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' "
— Dave Barry

"When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. "
— Dave Barry (Dave Barry Turns 50)

"It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. "
— Dave Barry

"A cup of tea would restore my normality."
— Douglas Adams

"Read at every wait; read at all hours; read within leisure; read in times of labor; read as one goes in; read as one goest out. The task of the educated mind is simply put: read to lead."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
"
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else do it wrong without comment."
— T.H. White

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer"
— Douglas Adams

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
— Douglas Adams

"The problem with designing something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of a complete fool. "
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

"A learning experience is one of those things that says, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.""
— Douglas Adams (The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time)

"Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet."
— Douglas Adams

"Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bog-gglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: `I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, `for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'
`But,' says Man, `The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
`Oh dear,' says God, `I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
`Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
"
— Douglas Adams