polls for this group
Polls for The Haters Club. (showing 1-30 of 386)
created December 8th
poll #1
Ok, so I play this game with a friend where he tries to find something that I wouldn’t do for the right amount of money… the other day I told him to save his time and just get it on his head that I’d do anything for the right amount of money! I mean ANYTHING! But he sturborn… so last night I was trap on a sesion of questions…
Friend: would you let a donkey fuck you for a 100 grand?
Alfonso: hell yeah! I’d right that donkey to hell!
Friend: would you drink a gallon of pee for 50 grand?
Alfonso: fuck! For 50 grand I’d look like it taste like mana from heaven!
Friend: would you suck a dick for a million?
Alfonso: dude I’d do it for way less than that! Who the fuck is going to offer me a million dollar for sucking his dick? Are you nuts! You show me 10 grand and I’ll suck it! For 50 I’d enjoy it!
Alfonso: DUDE! JUST STOP! There is nothing I wouldn’t do for the right amount! Please stop! We talk about this already!
Friend: I’ma find something that you wouldn’t do…
Alfonso: you wasting your time!
10 minutes later….
Friend: if I give you a million dollars for you to stop reading for ever… would you take it???
Alfonso: *sweating* *panic* *processing* oh god! I think you did find something I wouldn’t do for money! I don’t think there is enough money to make me do that!!! FUCK!
Now that little story is so I can post this poll…
How much money for you not to ever read a book again on your life???
Friend: would you let a donkey fuck you for a 100 grand?
Alfonso: hell yeah! I’d right that donkey to hell!
Friend: would you drink a gallon of pee for 50 grand?
Alfonso: fuck! For 50 grand I’d look like it taste like mana from heaven!
Friend: would you suck a dick for a million?
Alfonso: dude I’d do it for way less than that! Who the fuck is going to offer me a million dollar for sucking his dick? Are you nuts! You show me 10 grand and I’ll suck it! For 50 I’d enjoy it!
Alfonso: DUDE! JUST STOP! There is nothing I wouldn’t do for the right amount! Please stop! We talk about this already!
Friend: I’ma find something that you wouldn’t do…
Alfonso: you wasting your time!
10 minutes later….
Friend: if I give you a million dollars for you to stop reading for ever… would you take it???
Alfonso: *sweating* *panic* *processing* oh god! I think you did find something I wouldn’t do for money! I don’t think there is enough money to make me do that!!! FUCK!
Now that little story is so I can post this poll…
How much money for you not to ever read a book again on your life???
$10,000 is not like I read anyway… I come to goodreads after the midnight librarian freaks!!! (like seriously dude… they freaks after midnight!)
50,000 I like reading but is not like is my life… and 50 grand can buy a lot of shit…
100,000 dude I love reading!! But I can live without it… and finish paying the mortgage too!
10000000 and proly gonna ask for more than that!!! If I aint reading again at least I’m spending the rest of my life in a really nice place~
There isn’t enough money in this world dude….
17 comments Sign in to vote!
created December 2nd
poll #2
What do you most like to do while giving a blow job?
Nothing- I haven't given a beej since I got engaged.
Attempt to breathe.
Nothing- I'm a straight man. But if I was a chick, I'd REALLY get after it.
Talk about your day.
REALLY get after it.
Cry until it's over.
23 comments Sign in to vote!
created December 2nd
poll #3
What would you most like to do while getting a blow job?
Take a shit.
Watch sports.
Read a book.
Eat a Sandwich.
Play a video game.
Nothing you idiot!
Die.
16 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 28th
poll #4
http://www.howmanypeopleareinspacerightn...
How Many People Are In Space Right Now?
A site that keeps track of how many people are currently in the outer space. Updated daily, or so I hear. It's got an RSS feed for your convenience.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
Because somebody updates it daily.
How Many People Are In Space Right Now?
A site that keeps track of how many people are currently in the outer space. Updated daily, or so I hear. It's got an RSS feed for your convenience.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
Because somebody updates it daily.
http://www.awkwardboners.com/
Awkward Boners
A collection of weirdest publicly photographed hard-ons.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
Why? You want to see something more?
Awkward Boners
A collection of weirdest publicly photographed hard-ons.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
Why? You want to see something more?
http://www.explosionsandboobs.com/
Explosions And Boobs. In that order.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
Because nothing else matters.
Explosions And Boobs. In that order.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
Because nothing else matters.
http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspo...
Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians
It's best titled and acutely observant. Indeed, there are men who look like old lesbians. Kim Kardashian, Bruce Jenner...
Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians
It's best titled and acutely observant. Indeed, there are men who look like old lesbians. Kim Kardashian, Bruce Jenner...
http://www.mysterygoogle.com/
Mystery Google
I typed in "goodreads" and entries for "smack da ass". It's a search engine that returns results not for what you requested, but what the person before you was after.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
It's never going to be the last page, only the one before the last.
Mystery Google
I typed in "goodreads" and entries for "smack da ass". It's a search engine that returns results not for what you requested, but what the person before you was after.
>>>>>Why it should be the last page?
It's never going to be the last page, only the one before the last.
2 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 25th
poll #5
Instead of Cupcake, Gretchen's rabbit should be named:
Mudpie
Fruitcake
Pancake
Caked-On Grime
Upside-Down Cake
Twinkie
Poundcake
Poptart
Homentash
Chewy Granola Bar
Recalled Canned Peaches
Betamax
The K-Tel Patty Stacker
4 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 19th
poll #6
Favorite Arch Foe of Nocturno the Emitter (aka Alfonso):
Ass Swiper
Dr. Titgrab
Sticky Wicked
Ras al Goo
The Intergroper
Chastity McFrigid
Pedro Feelya
The Herpes Harpies
Footsy Fiend
The Dopplegangbanger
Keester Meister
SemenDemon
The Penile Imp
Applebottom Jean
Hirsute Poopchute the Third
Weenie Meanie Heinie Ho
King Shlong
Nukefart
Lasernipple
Master Castratorbator
Doctor Socktopus, the Eight-Testicled Horror
12 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 17th
poll #7
Which is the most appropriate superhero/supervillian name for a hater?
Alfonso: Nocturno, the Emitter
Kasia: PoleCatwoman
Seth: The Artful Codger
Montambo: Gastropod Gal
20 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 13th
poll #8
What will be the end of us all?
The Mayan calendar, or lack thereof, I suppose
Ann Coulter
Killer asteroid
Fonoso - I know, I know, don't encourage him.
"Global Warming"
Why are we putting so much stock in Mayan astromony? If they were so bloody smart, what are they all so dead?
Twój koniec będzie, co i kiedy chcę go mieć, suk Yankee. (This option is mainly for Kasia)
The Barackalypse
H2N2 - Squirrel Fever
19 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 13th
poll #9
Why did you join THC?
Yeah, why did I join?
I counldn't simply stay out, all the beautiful mo-fos were here.
Because of the polls, dude, they funny.
I'm one of the founding fathers, you cretin, the elite club that's been here forever, you should know that by now!!
I'd join anything, no offence.
I was deeply touched by the manifesto/group description, and decided that THC is a perfect venue for channeling my vile hatred.
I was under the impression it would get me high.
6 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 12th
poll #10
Over the blogs and youTube vids Chinese youth is raving about how Obama's presidency means a big triumph of leftist ideals. Everyday Obamao (you know Obama & Mao Zedong merger... also known over the intertubes as Maobama) is conquering more and more Chinese hearts.
WTF?!!
Anyways, which one's better? Obamao or Maobama?
WTF?!!
Anyways, which one's better? Obamao or Maobama?
Obamao!!!
I always liked Maobama better, it has a nicer ring to it. 
I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the good old Che worship days.
comments and details Sign in to vote!
created November 10th
poll #11
Usually when I'm walking I pay no attention to anything whatsoever, but today on my way home for some reason I glanced down at the lawn. Regular lawn in the middle of the city, nothing special, some nondescript buildings around it and a chicken egg in the middle of the grass. Weird - I'm thinking - but oh what the hell, I'm so taking that. Find an egg, pick it up. I saw a tomato once and left it be, but an egg I'm taking. Now it's in my fridge. It's a little suspect, because all eggs nowadays are stamped, and mine isn't, but who cares - I found it and that egg made my day.
The question remains: what I should do with it? Because we've been laughing about it for the past 2 hours, but that's getting tiring. So help me out here, what is the right thing to do?
The question remains: what I should do with it? Because we've been laughing about it for the past 2 hours, but that's getting tiring. So help me out here, what is the right thing to do?
Eat it.
Place it somewhere warm and wait until it hatches.
Put up ads, maybe someone's out there, in deep despair, missing their egg.
Try out one of the egg tricks from Story of the Eye.
15 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 9th
poll #12
Best way to rid oneself from unsightly/uncivilized body hair
this should only cause minor bleeding...
3 comments Sign in to vote!
created November 6th
poll #13
I really want to say something inappropriate about Tambo's new avatar...shuh-wing!
Me, too!
You sexist pig.
Wait, is this a question or what?
She should really take this as the compliment that it's intended to be.
6 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 30th
poll #14
should Lori get a farm in farmville?
Yes! The animals are chubby and they do what you say!
No! She should resist with all her might!
yes! I don't care if she loses her sanity. I need more neighbors.
No! she should be like me: superior to all that is commonplace.
1 comment Sign in to vote!
created October 27th
poll #15
Alfonso should change his avatar because:
Actually, I kill and mutilate every bird I can find...but, Alfonso, it's time for a change.
Zombie bird next. Let's see the little guy up and rampaging.
Seth has reached saturation point, and when that happens...uh...well, nothing happens. (So piss on him, leave it the way it is!)
Both Miss Silver, and squawkingrandolph, were they to really exist, would be nonplussed.
It's ephemera (presumably completely squashed by now, tossed about and abused by kids, or taken home by a disturbed city employee). Move on Fooz.
I don't care. I thought the Polls were dead. You friggin' people, you just don't friggin' quit, do you?
I feel like the bird is being mocked and used for a cheap laugh. You've milked it. Dead armadillo, please.
It's okay--in a parallel universe, Big Bird has a picture of a dead Alfonso as an avatar.
comments and details Sign in to vote!
created October 21st
poll #16
Tom Foolery hasn’t been around lately. What do you think he’s doing?
1. Driving. His Prius only gets up to 25 mph, so his commute is a real bear. By the time he gets home, it’s time for bed.
2. He started working at the toy store again for a little extra cash. He had forgotten how much he hated those kids, and he soon broke under the pressure. He went on a shooting spree with an air rifle, leaving tiny red marks on seventeen, and breaking the skin of one pudgy kid named Randy.
3. There is no more room for negativity in his life. He has matured and moved on.
4. He’s involved in an epic game of Magic, and hasn’t left his home in the last four weeks.
5. He is suffering from a severe case of vaginosis. The only cure is a blood transfusion from Clint Eastwood, but Clint has been uncooperative. He wouldn’t give it up to help cure Ryan Seacrest either.
6. Tom is doing his part to fight the epidemic of canine obesity.
7. Somebody uses the screen name “Tom Foolery”? Really?
8. He ousted his embarrassment of a governor and assumed the job.
15 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 20th
poll #17
SHOWER V.S. BATHTUB! What you prefer to get rid of the filth on your body!!!!!
Nothing beats the bathtub! I will never understand why people love to waste all that water using a shower!!!
NONE! I haven clean my bag of bones in over 20 years!
I ain’t spending hours soaking on my own filth! Fuck that! Besides I only feel like me after a nice shower.
10 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 20th
poll #18
Favorite chess babe? Excuse me for being so sexist as to include their vital statistics...
Judit Polgar, 2687
Alexandra Kosteniuk, 2516
Almira Skripchenko, 2448
Arianne Caoili, 2206
27 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 20th
poll #19
How do you feel about cold showers?
EXHILARATING! The best way to wake up in the morning.
Not my favorite but sometimes necessary.
No Thanks. I'll just stay dirty.
Fuck you! If I want to be tortured I'll visit my family!
1 comment Sign in to vote!
created October 19th
poll #20
How do you feel about reading?
Oh man. It really does it for me.
I like it. I go in phases of loving and ignoring books.
Meh. If there's a new (insert author) or whatever.
Books are for losers.
Other
comments and details Sign in to vote!
created October 19th
poll #21
I would rather eat my breakfast out of a dumpster shared by a Waffle House and an hourly motel (not sure which is more repulsive), using two old hypodermic needles as chopsticks, than listen to:
Classical Music
Sounds of the Seventies
Country
Rap Music (hip hop - whatever they're calling it today)
Ska
The current Billboard top 100
The current Billboard top 100, as sung by ten year-olds
Ranchera (that Mexican style of music with the accordians)
Jazz
Speed Metal
House Music
Other
20 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 15th
poll #22
So my buddy is in Peru. And I love getting his e-mails. Last one involved an itchy rash on his behind, and a list of complaints. Apparently Peruvians neither speak English, nor accept dollars. (Cause they fake) At most, they'd exchange your USD for their own fake currency. To that I say, it's high time to conjure more of the green stuff! (Before it gets replaced by Euro or other Yuans.)
For the new USD I choose:
For the new USD I choose:
2 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 14th
poll #23
Do you think Pavel is cool?
Of course he's cool! He's Russian!
He's cool as long as he doesn't open his big yap and ruin it.
He frightens me.
He looks sad and complicated, and I would never understand his soul...because he's Russian.
16 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 14th
poll #24
What do you know about wine?
It gets me drunk.
I know a lot about it and like to taste different kinds or something uppity like that.
Wine is for pussies.
not much but I'd like to learn more.
6 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 10th
poll #25
Who is the worst one of these incredibly bad authors?
6 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 9th
poll #26
Say no to drugs!
Just keep repeating: No. No thank you. Not interested. No.
Try alcohol instead, it's so much more socially acceptible.
Have yourself an orgasm instead.
Fake it. While everyone around you gets blasted, just predend you're keeping up with their uninhibitant intake.
What was that quote? Don't buy drugs kids. Become a musician and they'll give it to you for free! Something like that.
Say no to preservatives. Say no to food coloring. Say no to corn syrop. Say no to meat.
Oh to hell with it. Say yes. Carpe diem!
Say yes to tacos.
1 comment Sign in to vote!
created October 9th
poll #27
My Friday night is lame so in order to amuse myself I spent countless hours (4 minutes) pouring over recent posts (Alfonso's). The following have been cited as things "chicks totally dig". Help me set the record straight will you? Which of these things do chicks "totally dig".
crazy facial hair
long fingernails
afros
that psycho look serial killers have
being stalked
How the hell should I know what chicks dig?
all of the above! where do i sign up?
none of the above but Alfonso knows that. He's not a sexist idiot or a jerk. He's just being funny.
11 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 8th
poll #28
Best way to have fun with boobs:
Shuffle Around the House with the Boob Slippers
Change the Channel with the Boob Remote
Click Away with the Boob Mouse
Fry Up Eggs with the Boob Egg Mold
Cover Your Eyes with the Boobie Blindfold
Take a Bath with the Bobbing Boobs Bath Plug
Massage Your Tired Hands with the Boob Massager
Take a Shower with the Boob Soap Dispenser
Light the Way with a Boob Lamp
Where the hell is Rusty?
Rusty!! Get back. You need to put stop to this boob thing once and for all.
Rusty!! Get back. You need to put stop to this boob thing once and for all.
1 comment Sign in to vote!
created October 8th
poll #29
Best Ice Cream Flavor:
Vanilla
Strawberry
Chocolate
Potato Ice Cream (A new 'mash Cone' consisting of sausage, mash potato, gravy and peas in an ice cream cone has been invented. Food company Aunt Bessie's claims it is breathing new life into the fortunes of the ice cream van by replacing the 99 Flake with an all-weather alternative.
Curry Carrot Ice Cream
Candied Bacon Ice Cream
Natural Viagra Ice Cream (Oh, I'm not making this up, just get your ass over to Japan and you can have it)
Other (do tell)
2 comments Sign in to vote!
created October 3rd
poll #30
Which one is the cutest most cuddly who you want to snuggle up in a bwanket and tuck ems into bed with a smoochie woochie on the forehead because they're just so darn sweet?
20 comments Sign in to vote!
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