Leslie's comments (member since Dec 12, 2008)

Leslie's comments from the Terminalcoffee group.

Hey everyone--computer is down again! I will be back on line after I shoot it, bury the remains and get a new computer. Don't testify against me, I know it's murder, but I can't help it.

Yeah, I can send you the next section. It's time for me to get serious about editing it, that's for sure. I don't remember what I sent you so far. I'm going to focus on the later part first. That was harder to write and I've gotten more feedback about changes that I need to make. It's funny, the little kid stuff was much easier to write. It got harder and harder as I got older.

Hi! How are you doing? Any more weddings coming up?

I want to see Blind Side. It looks really good.

I do think it's a male/female chauvanist thing. Most guys would just be so much more comfortable if they didn't have to deal with those pesky emotions that us women keep confronting them with.

Crying in front of people--that's a huge struggle for me. Too many years of don't cry, there's nothing to cry about it, and if those didn't work--stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about. It took me 18 months of therapy before I cried in front of my therapist. Now I do all the time, but rarely in front of other people. It feels so embarrassing! But why is it anymore embarrassing than laughing? My usual reaction to the combination of tears and the presence of anyone is to go to the nearest bathroom, lock the door, turn the water on full blast, and stay in there until I can emerge with the obligatory smile. It's pretty sick. It's isolating too, because if I think something will make me cry, I don't want to talk to anyone but my therapist--and that's not good. I have a lot of people that love me and that I love and that puts up a wall.

I know. I get that a lot. I'm a very intense person and however I react is right amount for me.
And when I was little I started thinking that my mom and dad didn't know some important things. I was scared a lot and their idea of dealing with it was to tell me there was nothing to be afraid of. So it's like--what am I going to believe, that statement or my pounding heart, the adrenaline rushing around in my body, and the overwhelming urge to run away as fast as possible?
People seem bent on talking me out of feeling how I feel. Then and now. That's one reason I love therapy. There my feelings are validated and explored, not dismissed. And I'm learning to do that for myself, too. And also learning to have people in my life who don't dismiss my feelings. It's important.

Yeah, I can use the computer, but one little glitch and I'm lost. I dont' seem to have any intuitive feeling about what might be a good idea to do if something doesn't work like it's supposed to. But, yes--I do like using computers and chatting with you guys!

My mom and my daughter are the two computer savy people in the family--skipped right over me.

George Clooney as a animated fox isn't quite as interesting as he usually is, hate to tell you, Kevin.

That part really is good, sitting down at 2am, reading and responding to my emails. I love to chat on the phone, but sometimes it's just too time consuming. And it is nice, too, like Sherrie said, expressing myself in writing, being able to re-read and change my message before I hit send. That's an advantage. But talking to my mom or sisters or friends for an hour on the phone is a treat that email can't take the place of. I think that will always be true for me.

I work in close contact with 5 other women--we're sort of a team. And when I first got there I thought that everyone would look out for everyone and make sure that everything would be fair. Wrong! I found out the hard way that I had to do that for myself, that other people wouldn't do it for me. Some people are better than others, but no one will "take care" of me, only me. And some people will take everything good they can get away with. Even what's supposed to be mine. It's stressful, but I know it's good for me too. And like Angie said, it's a fine art. We're supposed to be equals, but some of us don't seems to think so. It's gotten me out of my comfort zone, that's for sure.

Jim wrote: "Good job Leslie, keep it up."

Thank you Jim!!

Hi!!

LOL :)

Hi Kevin! How are you doing?

I love Lars and the Real Girl. I just don't believe a town, including a hospital and EMTs would go along with it. But it was a great movie.

Maybe the ladies with the fake baby want to play at being a mom. If you only want to play at being a mom and not be a real mom all the time, not matter how you feel, then it's good to get a fake baby instead of a real one. It's pretty strange though.

When I smell those bathroom deodorizers that you hang in the toilet and they dissolve, I feel like I'm 8 years old again and in my aunt's bathroom--the cleanest bathroom in the world.

When I hear the song--I think by Loggins and Messina that goes, Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey... I think about being in bed in the mornings with my husband back when we first got married, in 1981 and listening to that record--yes record--over and over and how we were so sure we'd be happy like the couple in the song and how sad it is that it didn't turn out that way.

When I see certain numbers I think about the sickness that it is the code for. I can't see 490 without thinking bronchitis, etc. Lots of codes on license plates.

When I think of chewing tobacco, I think of my Pappaw and how much I loved him and how gross it was when he reached down for the coffee can he always had by his chair to spit in. Yuck!

When I get hungry for ramen, nothing else will satisfy me--not steak,not anything. I don't why those are so good, but they are. I don't like to put the full seasoning packet in though, too strong.

There was a thing on the radio a while back that Micheal Moore--the film maker--was trying to bribe people to vote for a certain candidate by promising them ramen noodle. I crack up everytime I think about it! LOL

I like turkey if it isn't too dry. Actually, I like the wing the best. But stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy and cresent rolls and dessert are even better! Yum!

Hi everyone! :)

I used to be so passive it was ridiculous. I stick up for myself and set boundaries more now than I ever have in my life, but sometimes it's very stressful. I hate that I get so upset about just simply not letting people not take advantage of me--but I do and I'm working on it. And getting better at it. :)