Ardani Subagio Ardani's Comments (member since Feb 03, 2012)

Ardani's comments from the Kastil Fantasi group.

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Jun 03, 2016 08:18AM

63141 Btw, guys, kalian kalo nulis di hape/ tablet biasanya pake apps apa sih?
May 24, 2016 11:35PM

63141 ....

Eh, ada ya International Writers Festival? Tau gitu ikut adik ke Makassar.
May 02, 2016 11:03PM

63141 Welcome2 buat para member baru. \(^_^)/

Btw, Nyoman, mungkin link buat tulisanmu bisa ditaruh di bagian request corner. Biar orang2 yg suka nambah bacaan gampang nyarinya.
Apr 21, 2016 02:49AM

63141 *Untuk sementara saya tinggal jejak dahulu.
Apr 07, 2016 01:16AM

63141 Thank you2 buat semua yg udah baca dan komen. Dan congratz ya buat para pemenang! Iya, ini berarti aku harus lebih merhatiin tenses waktu nuis.

Dan mohon maaf kalo bingung berhubung saia nulis tanpa plotting. ehehe
Mar 30, 2016 07:50PM

63141 Aku udah... dapet spoilernya.
Mar 15, 2016 11:45PM

63141 Ewing: Pertama baca ceritamu, aku agak kaget ngeliat dialog bahasa Inggris bercampur dengan narasi bahasa Indonesia. Tadinya aku ga seberapa nangkep kenapa narasinya mesti campur2 kaya gini, then the jokes hit me. And I realize it would've been lost in translation kalo dialognya ga pake bahasa Inggris.

Selain itu, narasinya jadi kerasa ada semacam... taste tersendiri dengan campuran dua bahasa ini. I don't know, mungkin kamu lagi mencoba style yang baru? But, nonetheless, ceritamu jadi nikmat dibaca karena itu, and that deserves a thumb up. Just remind me not to read your story at work. (nyaris ngakak di kerjaan)

Kekurangan yang ada menurutku hanya... aku tidak merasakan konfliknya. Sure, the characters are great, and they have a great time together... tapi selain itu, aku tidak merasa ada sesuatu yang urgent yang harus dilakukan oleh mereka semua. Tidak ada yang benar2 mengusik kesadaran/ keberadaan/ tujuan para karakter sampai tingkat yang gawat. Kecuali mungkin di saat terakhir, waktu Nick sama Amara berpisah, but I don't think that qualifies as a conflict for the whole story.

Rasanya lebih seperti para karakter tengah beristirahat di antara konflik2 lain yang lebih besar dan lebih serius. (Kecuali memang kalo konfliknya diniatkan lebih subtil dan aku ga nangkep itu. In which case, my bad).
Mar 15, 2016 09:47PM

63141 Ternyata dunia cerbul memang keras. Deadline udah diperpanjang sebulan juga masih banyak yg bergelimpangan.
Mar 14, 2016 09:29PM

63141 I thought I’ve fixed all the grammar problems. Yes, I intend to write it all in past tenses. Gotta upgrade my grammar detector.

The action on the second paragraph only involves one hand and weapon, that’s why I use the singular form. But, thanks for the comments!
Mar 14, 2016 06:42AM

63141 Baru saja saia posting.

Ini cerita ditulis buat bahan percobaan sebenernya, nulisnya sedikit spontan, bahkan tanpa plotting. Karena itu mohon maafkan kalau plot cerita agak kurang dimengerti ato ada sisi2 cerita yang bolong2.

Tadinya ini mau aku bikin versi bahasa Indonesia sama bahasa Inggris, tapi yang jadi duluan malah versi bahasa Inggrisnya dan udah ga ada waktu lagi buat ngedit versi bahasa Indonesianya. Jadi, dengan semangat mengejar deadline, jadilah yang saya post versi bahasa Inggrisnya sahaja.

Kalau terutama ada yang mau membenahi grammar dan spellingnya, saia akan sangat berterima kasih sekali.
Mar 14, 2016 06:36AM

63141 His Last Fight

A sinking ship would usually encourage people to abandon it. Though the night was heavy with clouds, it does not prevent many to light a lantern, or other similar devices, to make haste and safe their dearest life. These three, however, are examples to the contrary. Each gazes at the other like a beast marks its prey, as if they put killing the other person in higher priority than saving their own life.

The oldest among them, with long gray beard, slowly puts his hands inside his long sleeves. The other two take notice and puts their hand on their respective weapon; the woman lowers her sheathed jian beside her, a deceiving passive stance. The other man lowers the tip of his wide straw hat, covering his eyes and intentions from the other two fighters, seeming to have only his fists to count on. The atmosphere around them makes the danger of the sinking ship seems insignificant.

The old man said this to the fist fighter. “I thought I told you not to come.”

“I thought I told you this is inevitable,” was his reply.

Just after the last word escapes his lips, there came a loud bellow from the hull of the ship, accompanied by what felt like a massive earthquake. Everyone on board heard the loud shriek of metal as it surrendered to water pressure that force its way through the ship's compartments. The warship they’re on is strong, and has survived many battles, but it will not last forever.

The woman now addressed the old man with a loud and sharp voice, meaning to be heard above the roaring oceans. “Either by my sword, or by the will of the God, your life will end here, Uncle.”

The old man gave an almost arrogant smile. “I think the monk over there will not agree to that.”

“I do not ask for his agreement, or anyone else for that matter.”

“Really?” the smile turns sinister. “Your mother will be so disappointed.”

An expression of fury crossed her face for a brief instant, before being replaced by that cold mask again. When she spoke, her voice carried a thousand swords. “You have no right to speak of her!”

“I have every right for that!” cried the old man. “And to claim the title of ‘God’ you've protected for so long!”

There was another quake, so strong it nearly threw one of the chimneys crashing down the ocean. All of them lost their footings for an instant, but the monk was somehow able to take advantage of this. As if he foresaw it before, the monk dashed forward an instant before the quake happened, reaching striking distance before the old man even got a proper footing.

But, he doesn’t need a proper footing. The monk’s strike was fast like the wind, but before it connects the old man had thrown himself on the deck, dodging it by a millisecond. He rolled away, avoiding the monk’s fists that rained down on him, making marks on the deck’s floor as the attacks followed him.

Eventually, he rolled far enough to have a momentary breathing room from the monk, and jumped upright before any more strikes threatened him. But, the instant he rose back, he realized the woman’s presence behind him. Along with the cold touch of her jian.

It was a fast thrust to his back, aiming for his heart. Again, he dodged by a millisecond, leaving blood and skin dripping to the floor from his torn cloth. The woman kept charging after him, her jian dances like a thousand mirages. Each moved like a copy of the other, with gaps enough in between to taunt the old man. Provoking him to make one wrong move.

The old man finally makes his move, and it was not a wrong one.

From inside his sleeve, pairs of invisible threads darted out and caught the cross guard at the end of her barrages of mirages. Ensnaring her hand along with the sword. The old man then pulled her close, closer than her jian would be of any use for. A fast kick to her knee disrupts her balance and footing, and soon after a small sharp blade darted out from inside his other sleeve. Filled with hunger for her blood.

That’s where the monk interfered. He grabbed her waist and pulled her a step to the side, missing the lethal blade. He then kicked the old man's hand, fast, attempting to sever the invisible thread binding the two, but the old man refused to let go. He jumped backward, dragging the woman along with him, and landed right on top of her arm.

“What’s wrong, Monk? Losing your touch today?”

There was another shriek of metal, followed by the sound of giant air bubbles bursting from the side of the ship. The ship shook like before, only it felt twenty times harder this time. The monk and the old man braced themselves, using their ki to anchor themselves deeper into the floor. At that moment, there was a subtle cracking noise beneath their ear. It was nearly inaudible behind the chaos of the sinking ship, and unnoticeable on her cold face, but that was the sound of a cracked bone, and both men knew that the woman had lost her sword arm.

A series of loud explosions followed by the sound of iron beams and compartments folded by water pressure quickly followed the tremor, and soon after the warship gave up. It has lasted longer than any in the fleet, but it cannot escaped its ultimate fate. The last explosion sent debris and splinter flying high on the night sky. Sharp pieces of hot and bitter shrapnels, iron, wood, and glass, rained down on the three of them at the edge of the ship.

And it slowly encapsulated them.

The monk and the old man, still protected by their ki, need not worry, but the woman was a different case entirely. She stood on top of a bent railing, along with the monk, who uses his straw hat to cover her. The old man was not far away, trying to keep his balance like they do. The woman separated herself from the monk, making a stance with her jian on her left hand.

“This ends now,” she said.

“Remember your promise,” the monk replied.

And they both dashed toward the old man. The old man, in response, threw a couple of darts their direction. The woman repelled all of them with mirages of her jian, giving the monk free access to the old man’s position. The monk’s fist was met with the old man’s kick, and the warship exploded one final time.

* * *

It has been six weeks since then.

The woman sat behind a table opposite a young man, not dissimilar from the monk she used to travel with. They seem to be lost in conversation, discussing current events and the latest updates on the war. He talks eagerly, while she listens intently. Both looked very content with how events have turned out this far.

“So,” she reached for her tea with her left hand. “I suppose I must thank you and your brother, after all the sacrifices you both did.”

“You don’t have to,” he replied. “We didn’t do this for praise or status. We both agreed that this must be done.”

“That makes three of us,” she said, sipping down her tea. “Our family will forever remember this. From the bottom of my heart, I offer you both my sincerest gratitude.” She put the tea cup down and bowed in a way that would make any onlooker thought she was addressing a hero.

“Had he been here,” said the man. “I think he would say that the best way to appreciate what we have done, is to ensure similar tragedy doesn’t happen again.”

“I swore in my family’s name that it won’t.”

“Then, my brother and I can rest easy.”

Not long after that, someone knocked on their door. A man’s voice can be heard from the other side, asking permission.

“Come in,” she said.

A middle aged man stepped inside. “My lady, the carriage is ready.”

Hearing that, the woman replied. “Thank you. We’ll be right there.”

As he makes his leave, she returns her gaze to the man in front of her. “Do you really have to go? My offer still stands, you know? We can provide whatever you want here.”

He looked as if he just refused an offer to be King. “I truly appreciate your offer, but I’m terribly sorry. I have made my decision.”

“I… see,” there was regret in her voice. “Then, all I can do is to wish you a save journey on the road ahead.”

The man nods. “Thank you for everything.”

“Will we meet again?”

“If the Gods have mercy.”

In the future, when people look back at the crossroads in which these people met, they would not have expected the kind of impact they’d have on the course of history. Some would say it was just a chance encounter; others, a play by God’s hands. But, whatever they’d like to call it, there’s no denying that their encounter have changed history for the better. Had they not stood up like they did, history would remember God with any other name.

A Demon, perhaps, or One Who Has Neglected the World.

As for those that fought to change destiny, history will forever remember them as The Seven Stars of the North.
Mar 12, 2016 06:11AM

63141 Btw guys, numpang tanya. Seandainya kalian baca artikel di majalah/ tabloid itu, biasanya suka baca artikel apa aja?
Mar 10, 2016 03:01AM

63141 Mungkin karena ngerasa salah satunya kalah terkenal? :? Ngga tau juga sih.

Btw, tampilan Goodreads berubah ya? *telat*
Feb 02, 2016 07:37PM

63141 Hee... ga kerasa udah 4 tahun ya?

4 tahun yang penuh dengan kenangan saling membantai karya.
Jan 31, 2016 06:55PM

63141 Ah iya, baru inget komiknya VC pernah terbit di sini. Dulu pas mau beli ga sempet terus, sekarang mau nyari ga pernah ketemu
Jan 24, 2016 08:59PM

63141 Tapi, tapi, kalo remaster kan biasanya udah pasti ada semua DLCnya yang dulu. :v :v
Jan 24, 2016 08:44PM

63141 Btw guys, mungkin ini info telat tapi....


*Guling2 ga karuan*
Jan 13, 2016 11:39PM

63141 Guys, yang di Jakarta, stay safe yah.
Dec 29, 2015 11:32PM

63141 Well... secara teori sih... ga bisa. Karena Force User itu punya kemampuan mbaca pikiran lawan, bahkan sewaktu bertarung. Jadi, niatnya musuh itu pasti udah kebaca.

Tapi, Master Yoda pernah sih narik lightsaber dari tangannya Dark Jedi langsung. Habis gitu dibalikin lagi.
Dec 29, 2015 05:59PM

63141 *Ikut nimbrung*

Soal The Force, tiap2 Jedi/ Sith juga kekuatannya beda2. Yang kuat banget, kaya Master Yoda, bisa ngeliat masa depan dan ngerasain Force User lain yang meninggal.

Dan, yang bisa pake lightsaber benernya bukan cuman Jedi/ Sith aja. Bobba Fett juga pernah pake lightsaber lawan Darth Vader, tapi dia buru2 kabur. Force perlu dipake bukan buat nyalain lightsabernya, tapi ngerasain itu bilahnya ada di mana, biar jangan sampe ga sengaja nebas diri sendiri.
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