FittenTrim FittenTrim's Comments (member since Jul 31, 2011)

FittenTrim's comments from the The Sword and Laser group.

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Apr 06, 2013 08:31AM

4170 Let me ask a hypothetical to everyone:
What if a young Douglas Adams submitted the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

The main focus of the chapter is the possibility & probability of a bulldozer flattening Arthur Dent's house. Yes, alien Ford Prefect shows up and a few alien concepts (jokes) pop up... But the story is basically a Monty Python sketch of hidden bypass plans, missing stairs & debatable reasons to lie in the mud.

Would you accept it as a sci-fi short story?
Or would you reject it on the grounds that its mainly a comedic short story, not science fiction?
Mar 11, 2013 11:26AM


My last short has 2 "plotlines" happening at the same time. In my Microsoft Word document, I divide the doc into 2 columns and line them up so the events happen concurrently. HOWEVER, whenever I save as RTF and I email the document to a system without Word (example: my iPad) the columns don't line up.

When I email from my PC to a Mac which has MSWord... it doesn't line up.

The story doesn't "work" if the 2 "plotlines" don't sync up on the page perfectly.

Any ideas would be appreciated!!!

NOTE: I can do a PDF perfectly, but the guidelines require .DOC, .RTF, .TXT
Mar 01, 2013 09:24AM

4170 I copied this from the official guidelines:

Send your story to anthology at swordandlaser dot com. Please use the following subject line when submitting…


So if your name is Nick Scalzi and if your story is called “YOUNG MAN’S FIGHT” then the subject line of your email should read…


Since they have a typo of "YOIUNG", I've included many typos in my submitted shorts to help get mine picked!
Feb 17, 2013 11:51AM

4170 This may have been asked before, but can I submit two stories? I have one fantasy story & one sci-fi story.

This way, Veronica has more options for Lemming :)
Feb 16, 2013 12:19PM

4170 I keep checking the "word count" on my story. Currently at 7530!!! How to cut 30 more words?!? ha ha.

Who knows if the judges will like my story, but I've grown to like it.

I'm worried that fantasy is going to be overloaded, so the rest of you submit Sci-Fi tales only, okay? :)
Jun 13, 2012 02:47PM

4170 Not sure my posted, so sorry if this is a double post

1. George, what are the redeeming quality of some of your most memorable bastards: Joffrey, Ramsey, The Mountain?

2. George, what are your favorite novels in other genres: murder mystery, romance, non-fiction?

4170 For me, it goes back to "show" vs. "tell"

I felt that Lynch was constantly TELLING me that Locke & his bastards were brilliant con artists.

I wish the specific actions and cons which Locke and his crew pulled had SHOWN me their brilliance.

May not be fair to compare to other works of art, BUT con artist stories tend "show" the brilliance of the cons/con artists by 'pulling one over' on the audience.
4170 AldenO'Neil,

You're absolutely correct. And that spoiler which you mention was revealed in the very next chapter!!!

This was to "set up" the plot of people are on to Locke's scam thread. But in a better book, Locke would have been one-step ahead of this... and had yet ANOTHER con to escape.

I.E. How can the reader believe that Locke is a genius con artist, if he never outsmart the reader?!?!

In the classic movie, The Sting, we follow a con artist (Robert Redford) as he & his partner pull a fast one, and score big cash. Then the partner is murdered, and our hero must go into hiding to escape the people who want him dead.

While being pursued by killers, as well as the local authorities, Redford decides to get revenge on the evil villains who killed his friend.


But The Sting really shines, and surprises: The biggest twist being the climax, where plot complications build to the point where Redford's character is shot and killed by his new partner Paul Newman, who is also shot and killed. The audience is shocked: how could this be?!? Only for the final reveal that this was yet ANOTHER con! They make the local authorities believe they're dead, so as not to suffer retaliation.

As the movie audience, we've followed Redford's character just as closely as the novel follows Locke's character... but this final twist (they pretend to kill each other) was hidden from us. The film makers have one last con to play to surprise us with.

The book doesn't try this. Instead, the reader spends most of the time inside Locke's head. And from his perspective, we understand what he intends to do... and he does it. While it is interesting, I wasn't surprised by any of his cons because I knew all of Locke's thoughts.

By not having this extra twist, I find the novel doesn't live up to the greats of the con artist stories like The Sting, Oceans Eleven, etc.

I wonder if Lynch could have told the story from another character's perspective and then had more of twists and a more surprising climax.
Aug 17, 2011 10:36PM

4170 Brian wrote: "...You know nothing, Jon Snow...

I give a lot of credit to Martin's editors because the original text read:
"... you know some things, Jon Snow. You know how to read and you know how to write, Jon Snow. You know how to speak, and breath and tie your boots, and you know Sam, Jon Snow. You know how to piss off the Night's Watch. Now, you don't know your mother's name, Jon Snow."

"You don't know where your sisters are. You probably don't know more things than the things you know, Jon Snow."

"Did you know I'm sleeping with Stannis? You did? Pretend that you don't know that, Jon Snow."

Martin's moved this section to the next book.
Aug 17, 2011 10:28PM

4170 Nonentity: I must say that your response was "classy"; I respect your opinion & hope it is right. I write this from a place of love.

I forgot that no one in this thread came up with the wild theory that Mad King Aeyrs was hot for Tywin Lannister's wife.


He spent a page of his latest novel giving this bit of backstory.

Maybe Martin wrote it in as a "red herring" (see original post). Maybe he wrote it as a hint for something larger (see original post). Maybe he just wanted the book to be longer :)

Now Nonentity, you wrote that I "mis-interpreted some basic human behavior" and I "read too much into some things and misinterpret others." And thank you for being able to look down your nose to write that great "failing a test" paragraph :)

I guess I don't get human behavior because I thought a discussion board was a place where people write about thoughts and ideas based on an author's text.

I thought it might be fun to open up this idea which readers have discussed on other boards.

I thought that everyone understood that a person saying "you're no son of mine" could have mulitple meanings... and a discussion board could discuss those.

Whoops. ;)
About Jon Snow (37 new)
Aug 14, 2011 01:55PM

4170 Jon's soul went into Ghost, until he is brought back. Stannis is still alive. Heck even the Mountain is living in some form or another.

I imagine that this book was to make the readers question their desire for Dany or Jon to become ruler of Westeros. They're given the chance to lead, and both fail.

More reasons to root for Stannis to win!!!
Aug 10, 2011 08:58PM

4170 Shouldn't talk about religion & politics, but as an Obama voter, I did agree with that article.

But must [starwars]stay on target[/starwars], ABOUT MARTIN: I think he's desperate to explore EVERY SINGLE CORNER of this world that he's created. He's fascinated by everything... and many of us may not care about (example) the politics of the Elephant and the Tiger in Voltanis.

The previous books had us expecting (and loving) the huge "game-changing" moves in this game of thrones. But neither Feast nor Dragon have huge game-changers (save the fate of Jon -- which most expect to be a bump in the road, rather than a Holy S#it moment)

Because of the lack of game changers, I wonder if we're not closer to the end of the game than we think.
Aug 10, 2011 08:42PM

4170 Great responses!

Peter, I love the idea that we'd think the missing ships of Victarion have sunk, but they show up to save the day.
Tero, Dany having to go to Westeros to chase her other 2 dragons is great (and I think everyone agrees with roasting Daario quickly)
Ray, the Pale Mare would be a smart "quick fix" to this quagmire.

Inspired by everyone else's post, I'd imagine that the Sons of the Harpy "love" slavery so much, that Dany decides to give all the original slave owning families of Meereen to the Dothraki as slaves so they can see how the other half live.

Dany says goodbye to Meereen, leaving the recovered Strong Belwas as her ruler to clean up the mess.
Aug 07, 2011 01:06PM

4170 If you've finished A Dance with Dragons: here's my question for you.


How would YOU solve Meereen? Not what will George do, but if you were writing the series, how would you leave the city... since the story has to go to Westeros?
Dany and Drogon seem to be a hundred leagues up north of Meereen and have probably been captured by the Dothraki.
Back in Meereen, we've got Barristan, her husband, her other 2 dragons and Dany's unsullied army.
Outside Meereen is Tyrion with the sellswords and Victarion with his fleet.
Aug 07, 2011 12:28PM

4170 If he keeps his current pace, there's NO WAY he can finish in 2 books. This book didn't end the story of Meereen either! And isn't Dany going to get to Asshai sooner or later? I have a hard time believing that George wouldn't want to explore every part of his world. And Asshai would be 1 book at least.
Aug 07, 2011 11:48AM

4170 If you believe Maggie the Frog (aka Jeyne Westerling's grandmom)'s prediction about "the younger brother" choking Cersei to death... and you believe that either Cersei/Jamie or Tyrion is a secret Targaryen:

Then the person who will strangle Cersei to death will be Jaime.

And if I had to guess, while I don't want any Lannisters to be children of the Mad King: I'd suspect that Cersei & Jaime are the Mad King's kids and that Jaime will kill Cersei.
Jul 31, 2011 05:37PM

4170 Before I comment, lets recap in backwards order:

"Prince Aerys (the Mad King)... as a youth, he was taken with a certain lady of Casterly Rock, a cousin of Tywin Lannister. When she and Tywin wed, (Aerys/Mad King) drank too much win at the wedding feast and was heard to say that it was a great pity that the lord's right to the first night had been abolished... the liberties (that Aerys/Mad King) took during the bedding." Ser Barristan to Dany

Page 533
"The Imp is no longer my brother, if he ever was." Cersei Lannister
Page 503
"... but Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you. I said so once to your father's face, and he would not speak to me for half a year." Aunt Genna to Jaime

Page 880
"You... you are no... no son of mine." Tywin's last words, spoken to his killer Tyrion.
Page 502
"Aerys had chosen [Jaime] to spite his father, to rob Lord Tywin of his heir."

If this isn't a red herring (and I hope it is) There are a couple of choices:
1.King Aerys was Tyrion's father.
2.King Aerys was Cersei and Jaime's father.

In favor of Tyrion, he's been interested in dragons since he was a child (GoT). Tywin said that he wasn't his son. Tywin was always cruel to Tyrion. Tyrion's hair is closer to Targaryen bleach blond, than Lannister blond. Tyrion doesn't get the greyscale because (just like Dany) he doesn't get sick.

In favor of Cersei/Jaime, Barristan said that the Aeyrs took "liberties" on Tywin's wedding night... so the older children would be the offspring. Jaime & Cersei seem to have been born to love each other (just as the Targaryen's do) and Cersei's only other attraction was to Rhaeger who would be her half-brother. Cersei gets fascinated with fire.

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