Maureen's comments

Maureen's comments from the Chicks On Lit group.

Note: Maureen is no longer a member of this group.

This is fabulous!
Everyone seems to have mentioned Jane Austen and I have to agree with Tera, get in at least 20 pages with the flow of the language and you will be HOOKED.
East of Eden is a must. Rebecca, is my favorite of all time and I am surprised to see it as a classic but go for it! Great Expectations is another must but if you want to wait until next Christmas read A Christmas Carol. Now, the best one that I saw list was The Awakening, that is a fabulous book.

My son is an English teacher and he teaches some unusual books like The The Things They Carried and The Secret Life of Bees. I guess those are the "new Classics" Go figure.

Happy selecting and even more fun reading Jackie!

Dolly wrote: "Visions of Sugar Plums, I thought was cheesy, I usually like Janet Evanovich but this one I didn't like.

Love Walked In and Life of Pi, I couldn't get into these books and didn't finish them

Barr..."

Dolly, try and give, "Life of Pi" another shot sometime and look at it as if it were a person, coming into his own self actualization. The whole book is a metaphor on life. If you look at it that way you may like it better. Just a suggestion. I used to be a dedicated book finisher. Not anymore, but that book made a big impression on me at the time.

Kendall wrote: "Water for Elephants was a complete waste of my time."
Kendall, I'm sorry you didn't like that book. That is one of my all time favorites. It's not heavy or meaningful but soooo, entertaining. What didn't you like about it?

Thauna- that passage is sooo true. I had forgotten that as I had read the book awhile ago. Perhaps that's me but naturally I don't want to think so.

Everyone else about the Pizza in Italy...OMG, yes! I wanted to go and eat it every page!

My baby son (age 20) came knocking at my door just after I posted the above. It's so true about things happening for a reason. He just finished college for the semester and he usually stays with his Dad. It's closer to friends and the college and his dog,lol. But here he is with his old Mom hanging for the weekend. What a nice end to this story. I like it.

Hey girls! Guess where I just was noodling around? Perfectmatch.com!
So, they have you fillout this whole questionnaire, blah, blah, blah and you come to the end and No guys, no photos! What's up with that? Remember in Must Love Dogs? All you get in the end of this is the chance to spend $100 bucks! Phooey I say!
Well, at least I have re-entered the world of the living. AND if I do find someone else and I couldn't care less if I do , I totally was noodling for fun. Like guys look at Playboy,this new guy will live so close to me I will see his nose hairs in my rear view mirror when I back up in the morning.
Love ya!

Last night it was rainy and wet but I walked to the bar near my work to meet him.
When I got there, it wasn't very crowded but soon filled up with loads of twentysomethings. It made me twitchy thinking he chose this place just so we couldn't talk. He was late, but he texted me to say he was on his way. I was so nervous, nervous that there wouldn't be any spark between us anymore.
No need for that worry. As soon as his head popped through the door to look for me, my stomach did a flip flop.
It was like we were the only two people in a crowd of a 100.
We went over a everything we should have discussed months ago. Things we both felt in our pasts and hoped we both had for the future.
Hours past and the croed around changed faces. We enjoyed a dinner and many drinks then finally realized it was getting late.
He walked me to the train station and we said goodbye. Where, I realized, no decision or future plan had been made.
He texted me this morning and I texted back. It was weather related basically.
No, I probably won't see him again unless he suddenly throws himself at my feet.
My feeling for him is warm now. Not that agonizing pain in my heart that I had two months ago.Yea, I love him. He loves me but this hemming and hawing is too foolish for me. If he can't see how good he has it with me then too bad for him.
If he calls me great, if not. His loss.

I'm quite positive that this new attitude is because of ALL of you. Listening to (well reading) all of the examples from all of you and your kind words of wisdom have gotten me through this.
Thank you all again.
Love and blessings.

Well ladies, here I go...
This may be the "famous final scene" or not.

Mr. Longdistance and I are meeting for dinner after work, in about an hour from now. I have mixed feelings.

I told him I have an agenda. Being a lover of words, of course it is written down, in long hand. The process felt good.

This will be the end, no contact after this if it gets ugly (we've never fought so that I can't imagine) or it remains too unclear for me.

At this point, all I want is to know if he EVER sees himself commiting to me. EVER, is that such a big deal? I don't think EVER is such a committment.

So, I will keep you all posted. You have ALL, each and every one of you given me some fabulous advice. The conitnuing to want to fix things words, boy does that fit!
All of it! All of you! I wish I could hug you all, have a glass of wine with you all. If you only knew how much you have done for me. I could not discuss this 6 weeks ago. Now, to be able to "talk" about it and get so much goo advice. Funny jokes about "front butts!" I love it all.

Thank you thank you and stay tuned!!

Thanks again ladies.
Kat especially, you said it all woman.
Tera, yes, I am a psychotic ;) but I love myself!!!

Just kidding.

Some how this will work out for the best. Perhaps not with him. But I will put my walls back up and if I do mean IF someone else comes along, then so be it. I can never hate men. I raised 3 awesome, handome ones.

Thank you all for sticking by through all of this. I'm sorry to sound like such a sad sack. I truly am not wallowing. I go to the gym. I take jewelry class,yoga and pilates and meet with my women's group.And of course work.

I'm not a mess, any more. I was. But I held it together and here I am now trying to figure it all out with the help of all your great women.

Signing off for tonight and thanks again.

Holli, you're fine, asshole is perfectly acceptable.LOL

Laura, I'm afraid that your insights may be exactly what I have been afraid to face and this weekend they are right at the top of my mind. He did help me very much come to the place I am right now. A good place , other than my grief. So, perhaps he did what the "cosmos" sent him to do.

Last night I watched the movie "P.S. I love You" on HBO. I cried from about the first scene. Grief is grief, death or break up and I'm not diminishing anyone's feelings of loss if they have lost a loved on through death please don't think I am.What I am saying is that I could relate to how she missed her husband so much. At the end of the movie I said out loud to the empty room "This is enough crying now. You are done crying. I am so sick of crying."

Laura to answer your question, I'm 45 and I am not afraid to be alone. I didn't mind being alone before Mr. Longdistance. My exhusband left me alone for most of my marriage. My kids are all grown men but talk to them frequently and see them often enough. One of them hooked me into this website.lol

I've had a lot of offers to mess him up. LOL

I didn't think he was an asshole. Revising my opinion.

Everyone here is so great to me. It's incredible.

Oh, moving there is not an option. It's miserable there, close to my ex and a longer commute. Longer commute for him, we both work in the same city. It's sane for him to move in with me. It's practical.

I totally need to get it into my head that He is just not that into me, even though he is texting me right now, joking and having fun. ACK!

Oh Holli thanks. My other g/f said something similar, thinking that this guy was my first relationship after my divorce. Brutal honesty here...I think this guy is my first real love. Yes, I was married, had kids etc but I KNOW I really didn't love him and he REALLY didn't love me. I did have a couple of short live relationships post divorce and one guy even was in love with me but not like what I am trying to get over now. This is so hard, that is why I am pretty sure I have never been in love like a real adult, despite my advanced age, before now.

Thanks Shelby and Holli. Both of your comments are HUGELY helpful. When we were beginning to flail, I was saying to him that it hurt me more to see him leave than to just not see him at all. It was for me like life stopped when he went away. That makes the most painful part for me that it wasn't the same feeling for him.
Grieving through this is harder than my divorce two and a half years ago.

Ok, I was trying ALL of the above. Not answering texts. Requesting only conversations. Around Thursday things got better then yesterday and today hinkey again.

Yesterday, personally, I got thinking about a thread in the Eat pray love discussion. The one about the soul mate. I had never believed in soulmates until this guy but in that thread I mentioned, it is stated that your soul mate isn't meant to stick around. At first it was an outrageous thought to me. At first meaning when I read the thread, not when I read the book. But, the more I thought on it, the more weight it took on. Perhaps he is not meant to be with me. Perhaps he did his job and is moving on.

Andrea, what you say is so true, men do not share their inner feelings. Although, my eldest son does share his and his girlfriend says he'll make a great wife.
The problem with my b/f started with his not sharing enough. Not enough feelings and not enough stuff. I moved a bunch of little stuff into his place and all he ever moved in with me was a toothbrush and some soap.

In reading "He's just not that Into you", I realize that a lot of what is going on is him trying to just no hurt me with the pain of that but then he comes back with "Hi, how ya doing?"

Today, I feel I could write him off. Goodbye. Tomorrow will be a different,tearful story. I'm on a merry go round. You all have great advice.

Holli, you said you were in a long distance romance before, which one of you made the move? and when and how did you know it was time?

The worst book I read this year was Double Bind by Chris Bojahlian (sp) It was so horrible I can't even believe it was published. I bought because it was on the recommended by the staff shelf at the bookstore. My goodness what a bad taste it left in my mouth.

Of course, he says it's because of his only long term relationship. A seven year nightmare which ended a couple years ago. It's just so exasperating that he won't TALK. This texting is crazy.

Oh brother! This is going to give me carpal tunnel.
Scared is his exact word. Scared that it won't work. Scared to move closer. Scared scared scared. Oh, like I'm not scared?
Given my relationship background, which is hardly worth going into here but suffice to say it was yucky. When he (Mr. Long distance and I) Got together it was like a miracle.
We got along so well. Everything clicked. Everything.
Then in the summer i noticed him pulling away.

Before that I even got a realtor estimate on selling my house which in this economy is a joke. I was willing to give.

Where are we now? Texting? Not even conversing.

I'm beside myself