Jon's comments (member since Jul 02, 2009)

Jon's comments from the ¡ POETRY ! group.

I'll draw it for you

and yes I know theres caps

dang dont notice them till after I post it

I felt like a madman writing this.
lol it seems to take a Crazy twist where he goes from dealing with his Problems and just gives in.


A man looks within himself and hates what he sees.
An empty turmoil of Savage hatred and hungry misguided deeds.
The sins of his past Overtake him in a step.
the Atrocities committed without a tear being wept.

But I'm Crying now.
For the Hate so deep within me.
For the Anger that has burned me.
For the Cruelty that has turned me into something that I'm not.

Feelings out of my control they sweep through as a Burning Flood.
A fiery searing Flame that's Cleansing me of all that is good.
and awash with tears and Floundering in my tears I cry
for when the hurt has died away I am still too afraid to try.

Self pity and Loathing. Feel myself torn as ragged Clothing.
A sadness and a pain and a hatred for my name.
Gutting me with its sickening Sweetness.
Calling out from the shadows I hear a Cry.

Save me!!

But I'm Crying now.
For the Hate so deep within me.
For the Anger that has burned me.
For the Cruelty that has turned me into something that I'm not.

and Before the world I stand in rage. Destroying Future Ignoring past.
Killing all that remains if my inner self.
This Sickeningly weak innermost that relies so entirely on love.
Its a weakness to Hold on the the one thing you can never own.
its for others to hold.
So I'm told.

By the Voices in my mind and visions in my eyes.
the only ones that speak to me anymore.
Lose the Stupid mask and show the world what you really are.
But what am I??

But I'm Dying now.
Of a hate so deep within me.
Of an anger that has burned me.
Of a Cruelty that has turned me into something that I'm not

Congrats

thx for you Review.
Everyone who knows me also knows that capitalization, punctuation, spacing, etc is not my Strong point.

and as for the random Caps that appear throughout.
that has come up many times in recent Discussions.

its unintentional and I don't even notice most of the time.
and I am trying to work on it.

I'm not really sure what inspired this piece but it took me forever to write.
I was thinking about My little sister that I lost two years ago and then my thinking kinda switched to a Vary Close Friend that if going through a hard time.

and this is what came out.
I give you Broken Doll
enjoy

hey little girl with a Broken Smile do mind if I sit for a while?
Tell me whats been hurting you and I'll do my best to help you through.
Because in your eyes i see a fire that's burning you up inside.
Never mind the world outside I'll wrap you up in arms, now hide"

Hey Baby Girl with a Broken wing there's a hole in your heart where it used to sing.
Life can be such a bumpy ride so find a Warm heart, Now hide.
Snuggle in Close and Feel its beat wrap you're arms around and feel the heat.
Walking with you as a friend staying close hide within.

You're eyes are tired you're Feet are Bruised. how many time have you been used?
have your dreams all turned to dust? how can a World be so unjust?
Just walk with me come take my hand I'll try so hard to be a man.
I'll pave the way so you can see I'll take the pain so you can Breath.

In the night I'll hear you Cry and I'll be there at your side.
I'll wipe your tears and calm your fear.
Don't cry because Big brother's here.

Now rest

and in madness her thoughts are Grouped

very nice

A flower that's wilting and dying of thirst

Draped within her sparkling Shroud

Thank you but I'm OK now

this was written in about 5 minutes of Grief when every problem I've ever faced Came crashing down at once.

But thank you its nice when someone shows Concern.
I should have a more uplifting poem Soon so bear with me

And within a blessed light she stands.

But forever dancing in her grace

Dancing in a piece of night

This Poem. If you want to call it that.
is actually the Result of being in a very dark and fowl mood the other day over several different things.
and yeah the girl did leave me.

Turns out ppl can be really great till ya get to know em

I noticed.
Not many ppl but my dad Could have put so much depth into a nautical tale.
lol
anyway I'll say again.
great work

OK first I would like to say that this is an excellent piece of work.
If your anything like me, Many hours of work must have went into this piece.
I also Like the work that went into the rhyming.

All an all A good Solid Work

Somewhere a heart has been Broken a life is shattered.
A lost child crying in the snow his wings torn and vision clouded.
A Bird tumbles from its nest to the ground and is Crushed under heel.
All this speaks of heartache and this is the way of the world.

what is it about life that hurts so bad? what is it that tears us apart?
is it the pain? No" pain heals and and leaves a scar that makes us stronger.
is it the wanting of the things we cannot have? I believe not.
I believe it is the loss. Losing the thing we love never to get it back.

it is this pain that never heals.
When you can see the one you loved living happily without you while your heart still burns.
its knowing that the Child you loved is Fathered by another and will forget you.
its the knowledge that no matter how hard to try you'll never regain that that was lost.

So in Vain we strive only to lose. and gain only to fall.
For life IS loss and Love is a lie.
its works its way into a heart and fills its to bursting and then so like a worm in an apple
it begins to eat away at it, Rotting it till only a husk remains.
And the you can see the one you loved do it again and again on their destruction of others.
Growing Fat on the love of others.

and you for all your Love can do nothing for you are Broken and no better for all the love you thought you had.
But the heart does heal and scars and grows stronger and harder.
Seeking still for the thing that destroys it but yet cutting itself off from all that would sooth its pain.
and then it loves again only to be hurt again. and The way is open once again.
the way of the heart to love or betray.


Lo what Fickle things are men?
What hearts of stone or gold he hides within his breast?
For the heart of stone as cold as Ice is never loved for all its strength.
And the heart of gold is simply Stolen away and Spent till only Stone remains

I walk a Crimson path alone and my time of death is nearing.
I feel so lonely in the world and I'm Scared of what I'm hearing.
there's a Cry a call a feeling A giant that is kneeling.
There's a Boy who is standing on his own.
Walking away from all that he has known.

I was so afraid to try, So afraid I could not Fly.
But now I see it, I see it when I stand.
This little Troubled boy, He has grown to be a man.
He sees the world before him tis a field yet to be sown.
And yet he fears to Stretch his wings afraid to be alone.

I feel that I'm wondering all lone and I don't remember why I'm Crying.
No I Cannot make it without you by my side Because I'm Dying.
And the child that is here in my soul is yearning
can I ever go back to what I was Before?

It is the child within me that is dying on the floor
I feel he is taking his last breath
And he does not want to die alone facing death.
Would you hold would wipe away his tears Would you love him?
Do not let the child Die.

**First comment dance**
hey I'm jon.
I'm a poet here.
Welcome to Goodreads