Marissa's comments (member since Jun 26, 2009)

Marissa's comments from the ¡ POETRY ! group.

Jim wrote: "Hi Marissa,

It depends on whether or not you really want your poems examined and advice to help you improve your writing. If you really mean that then Amy, Tara, Ruth, Nina, and Trish, among man..."

Indeed, I do expect to be criticized, I do not mind my work being completely picked apart. I would certainly like to be published somewhere though I'm not sure I have a large enough quantity of poems for that yet. Just warning, my style of writing varies from structured and metered to kinda-sorta free verse (though you'd have to read it to quite get what I'm saying). I've never tried prose poetry.

I think I'll post some of my stuff in the writing section also, to get it out there, beyond just this group. :)

I decided to call it Discovering Myself because a lot of my poems are either introspective or interpersonal. I do have several that are nature-related, I might just put them in another collection, I don't know.

All Thunderstorm is about is, really, a thunderstorm. I sort of thought about how a storm was like an argument, and took it from there. :) I wrote it a number of years ago, in seventh grade.

Oh, here is a post with a few of my poems in it, please critique :)

Generally my poems tend to have a sort of rhyme or rhythm, but rarely a set meter. (Though there are some that do). Here are two examples of my poetry, both very different in style. I hope you will take the time to critique both of them. The second one was written for an English class assignment where we had to write an abstract poem with every line beginning with the words "I am" (In case you're wondering)

Thunderstorm

Tonight,
The clouds,
Generally peaceful,
Are fighting above us.

Their icy feelings hail down
Reaching the ground with a clatter.
One throws a punch
With a thundering shout
Furious words,
A violent gale,
Stinging, driving insults.

They slow
To a pitter-patter
Of falling defenses
Their pain raining upon us –
A drizzling, foggy mist
That doesn’t lift
Until dawn,
When the dew on the lawn
And the air, clean and new,
Is their apology.

I Am

I am a painting, a great work of art.
I am a live sculpture with a loving heart
I am the promise of a pencil sketch
I am the masterpiece not finished yet.
I am not a statue, I think and I breathe
I am bound to this world, yet I am free.
I am as bold as a single brush stroke
I am the curiosity wonder evokes
I am not formed of an amateur’s hand,
I am well-made and my future is planned.
I am a color; I am a hue;
I am a rainbow; I’m sunlight on dew.

I am the lilt of the violin’s trill
I am in motion, yet I am still.
I am as bright as the proud trumpet’s call
I am so soft you can’t hear me at all.
I am loud like the cymbals that clash
I am the joy in a young child’s laugh.
I am a scale, I go up and down.
I am usually smiling, though sometimes I frown.
I am a lone chord and a pure melody
I am thousands of voices in one harmony
I am the light touch of a harpist’s strum
I am the deep beat of a steady drum.
I am a misfit but still I belong,
I am a note, I’m a tune, I’m a song.

Trish Lindsey wrote: "Marissa wrote: "Another question: is it okay to put my poem here when I would like to try to publish it in a book someday?"

That depends on the book, Marissa. If you are wishing to publish a colle..."

All right. Well I think I will wait until the next contest anyway to submit a poem here in order to spend some time learning/improving first. My hope was to get a book published someday, so posting something here shouldn't interfere, I hope. :)

Hello,
I would like to know where the best place is to start on this forum, as well as meet a few of the people on this forum to start gaining a few friends. I love to write poetry; it has been my outlet for the last six or seven years. I would like to put it up for critique somewhere so I can know what I need to improve. Just saying hi to the world of the POETRY group to let you all know I exist and plan on being an active member :)

Another question: is it okay to put my poem here when I would like to try to publish it in a book someday?