David J's comments

David J's comments from the ¡ POETRY ! group.

Note: David J is no longer a member of this group.

G'day everyone, & sorry Herman for raining on your celebrations of my leaving, one might be able to leave but can still read the posts.

Erica, thank you, no I did not leave because I was "bullied" I left as some of my comments were being taken out of context & I felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall, as this group, I feel does have a "clique feeling" Thank you Ivy.

Yes I am passionate about rhyming poetry, as this same passion envelopes someone who loves any genre of literature & said arguments have ensued for decades, rhyming poetry is my life & despite Andrews comment it is "outdated", well it is far from it. I can't speak for Gregory, Erica, but my mind is open to other genre's of literature, I have never said I hate free verse or prose, I have stated though "I am not a fan" or "do not like" & I own many free verse & prose books, I enjoy reading free verse with "rhythm" not just thrown together & I read prose that has great visuals & story & I read them as a very short story because I have not found 1 that has any poetic structure, again THATS ME.

To quote Andrew, "I don't write prose poetry. I don't write false poetry. I am not a "poet." I agree but you could be with a little coaching, your poem, rhymed it is, but (and in my humble & uneducated opinion)apart from the metre & erratic line syllables it is a very good 1st attempt. There You go again putting words into my mouth I have never said (that I can recall) the only true poetry is rhyming poetry or the term "real poetry"

Your comment that rhymed poetry is "old fashioned" I agree, but so many wonderful award winning poems written about life today use this "old fashioned" style also if rhyming poetry is "outdated" why then do I receive so many emails from high school teenagers, & heaven forbid from America, asking for me to, not only donate my book to their library but ask reference to other books of rhyming poetry, Sir I think you should remove your head from the academic sand pit & taste a sample of "real" life & as long as there is music in this world, rhyming poetry will never be outdated.

Quote Andrew," The only reason the debate has been as emotional as it has been and has gone on as long as it has is because you and other members of the rhymed orthodox branch deride and dismiss what the rest of us do and care about"
So you are saying because someone prefers rhyming poetry they don't "care" about other forms of literature?

The argument between the different forms and styles of poetry will continue long after my body has left this earth, therefore, so Herman can continue with his celebrations I will again leave this group but leave you all with this.

Poetry and prose

from Wikipedia

Prose lacks the formal structure of meter or rhyme which is typical of poetry; instead it is composed of full sentences, usually divided into paragraphs, and then smaller segments known as meta-paragraphs. Although some works of prose may happen to contain traces of metrical structure or versification, a conscious blend of the two forms of literature is known as a prose poem. Similarly, the poetry with less of the common rules and limitations of verse is known as free verse. Poetry is considered to be artificially developed ("The best words in the best order"), whereas prose is thought to be less constructed and more reflective of ordinary speech.[1:] Pierre de Ronsard, the French poet, said that his training as a poet had proved to him that prose and poetry were mortal enemies.

Bye all & I believe the term is "Merry Christmas"!! (not happy holidays)

G'day Carrie, well said & by the way no one is "JUST" a writer, you "ARE" a writer be it whatever genre one chooses, the argument between rhyming vs prose vs free verse etc, etc, has & will go on for years, it is after all personal choice.

Andrew wrote: "David, we had this conversation already, didn't we? You want to ban all writing that isn't a family friendly rip-off of Tennyson, and you get very emotional when people disagree with you. I wish yo..."

G'day Andrew, mate, yes we did have this conversation & I was bloody sorry I started it, also I never said, and, would never say that any written word should be banned, if you can remember I said repeatedly "time and place" not to ban writings.

There are some prose & or free verse I do like reading as a matter of fact a very dear and close friend who is also a fellow of Trinity college London & has been tutoring poetry almost all her life writes beautiful prose and free verse I enjoy reading, far from the few I enjoy here.

My lack of education is obvious compared to yours & good on you for being able to achieve what you have, but despite my uneducated ways I love my poetry it might not be academically or technically perfect but as long as I make people smile (from the hundreds and sometimes thousands of people who attend my performances) I will continue to enjoy writng the way I do.

Oh! look! It's Andrew & Ruth our academic genius's, we only need Jim now to make it complete!

Thank you Gregory for your support of rhymed poetry & for using mine as an example, there was some truly wonderful rhymed poetry this month, but as I mentioned to another rhyming poet "don't to hold your breath on making the finals".

I will no longer be posting anymore of my poetry on this site, I will visit regulary to read some of the beautiful poems, I'll stick with my Australian sites, at least they are not biased.

BTW. if I had to make a choice for this months poem I would lean towards "Grassland"

Gwyn wrote: "Well, David J, stop making your publisher itch! Let them publish your book! It's more fun that way for both of you. I promise.


G'day Gwyn, I am about half way through my compilation selection of about 60 poems and am aiming for a release early next year.

Gabrielle wrote: "I vowed to bow out of this discussion, but I do have to say one more thing to all the poets who've posted their work for the group.

No matter what you write, and this includes novels, short stor..."


Well said Gabrielle, I have found ( & I am sure others have as well) for every one person who does not like my work there are two that do, I wish everyone well.

I also suspect as an editor you wouldn't like my style of poetry but there is an American publishing company who is itching to publish my compilation.

I like this Lizz, I like the "feel good" feeling I got from reading it, well done.

I know exactly how you feel Barry!!

I went back & intently read "Lynette's war" & found it a very well written STORY, to me it showed great imagery & was written with great heartfelt passion, but for me this was not a poem, a fantastic/tragic story, yes! this is of course MY point of view.

I also noticed Jim & Ruths dislike for rhyming poetry almost matches my dislike for free verse, never the less I do agree with Jim "stay true to your own voice" as I believe this covers anyone involved in the arts & I wish Chella all the best in her endevours.

I do feel sorry for Jim & ruth, no longer able to enjoy a beautiful love song or a feel good song for "heaven forbid" they contain "simple rhymes, cliched images" about love & or tears as 99% of songs do (I am yet to hear a hit song from free verse) also not being able to read nursery rhymes to children oh dear!

Jim you say you have published, are your books available here or only available to your circle of friends in the states?

Mate you also state you have served, well I do respect any returned serviceman, but you of all people should not have singled out Muslim women in Serbian camps, unfortunately these atrocities happen worldwide & for as long as there have been wars, sure Gregory could have used a better line, but why didn't you also mention the troops from the good old US of A when visiting here during world war 2 were also involved in a quite a number of rapes & those who impregnated hundreds of girls then left never to contact these girls again, they were also left to raise American fathered children by themselves, many incidents went unreported & I know because my Uncle was a policeman during this time, I,m not saying Aussie troops are perfect either, I am saying you shouldn't showcase one without the other.

I do have quite a number of well educated academic friends who like me loathe those who think they are a higher being to the rest of us & dictate what others should learn or be taught, think I will stop now before I say something I will regret.

G'day Gail, very nice piece of writing & rhyming there, well done, if you don't mind me saying I would drop the "s" on minds so it becomes singular to match unwind.

Dave.

WOW!..Amy this is fantastic, well done & thank you.

Sorry all, I should have worded my intro a little better as a good friend pointed out, this is a 2nd draft of my original attempt at an epic, the 1st is in my book "Rhymes of Times".

Couldn't find anything on "nanal" I'm now guessing you meant "banal" (-:

Thank you for your comments Lama,thank you.

I'll go and look up the meaning of "nanal" now. (-:

G'day Jon,

I'll take a guess that your Dad would probably like this then. (-:

Thank you Gregory.

Thank you Jon, yes many hours did go into this plus a fair bit of research.

This is a 2nd draft of my attempt at an epic.


Old sailor Dan.

I’m ushered to his room which stands by the sea
he’s watching the ocean while sipping his tea
then with gravelled voice says “come sit here with me”
“this interview, I’m glad the home did agree”.

Now shaking my hand I can feel his strong grip
passed me some tea, then I slowly take a sip
deepest blue eyes, brown smoke stained bottom lip
skin like leather, from many an ocean trip.

He views the vast ocean from this patio height
on the wall two lanterns of green and red light
there under the red one, positioned just right
there's an old ship’s bell he keeps polished so bright.

(refrain)
Looks out to sea, and knows where he belongs
to ride the waves, his heart forever longs
then at life’s end, upon this earth no longer
he will join his mates at Davey Jones’s locker.

“I’m the son of a sailor” I’m proud to say
my grandfather sailed to ports far away
he sailed the cold nights or the heat of day
to tropical islands where pretty girls would play.

My father died at sea during world war one
German U-boats on a deadly hunting run
this part of my life now truly came undone
mother disappeared, never to see her Son.

Thankful for those years, my Uncle and Aunt’s love
the roof over head, when rains fell from above
calling of the ocean, born into my blood
on a freighter, my sweat’s, flowing like a flood.

(refrain)
Looks out to sea, and knows where he belongs
to ride the waves, his heart forever longs
then at life’s end, upon this earth no longer
he will join his mates at Davey Jones’s locker.

Those happy times, a fulfillment in my heart
my love the ocean and I would never part
then 1941 a new merchant ship, a fresh start
Jack telling stories serving on “Cutty sark”.

Then one day the horrors of war came to be
nightmares I wish no generation to see
sunk by “zero’s” crew survived, except for three
watching old jack disappear beneath the sea.

Now Dan sits there, gazing at the horizon
chuckling watching kids, jumping from a pylon
his life was exciting when called upon
He said “It was great when their free time was on”.

(refrain)
Looks out to sea, and knows where he belongs
to ride the waves, his heart forever longs
then at life’s end, upon this earth no longer
he will join his mates at Davey Jones’s locker.

Jamaican Islands where pretty girls would sing
never married, for one girl was not my thing
but one maiden made me feel like settling
my Irish rose, I promised a wedding ring.

My new true love, who could stop my ocean plight
to spend my final days with her in my sight
return to that village, take her as my wife
I lost all contact, almost losing my life.

Son, I spent my life, on the crest of a wave
seen royalty, poverty, saved some slaves
and I lost many friends to an ocean’s grave
I now pass to you my memoirs to save.

(refrain)
Looks out to sea, and knows where he belongs
to ride the waves, his heart forever longs
then at life’s end, upon this earth no longer
he will join his mates at Davey Jones’s locker.

Months have now passed, I still think of old Dan
I wrote the life journey of this humble man
t’was not his story drawing me to this land
or the deep proud feeling when shaking his hand.

Never told him of my father passing away
nor what I found in his attic the next day
my grandmother’s picture with faded bouquet
she wrote “Dan, for your safety and love I pray”

I cried at Dan’s funeral, held by the sea
knowing for him, nowhere else he’d rather be
joining Dad and Grand mum, together as three
and finding my Granddad was closure for me.

(refrain)
Looks out to sea, and knows where he belongs
to ride the waves, his heart forever longs
then at life’s end, upon this earth no longer
he will join his mates at Davey Jones’s locker.


David J Delaney (c)

Richyprior wrote: "


God be-wig you



I wish to cease pulling out my hair

But I do it when I’m not aware.

Oh! How the people will stop and stare.

Do they really think I give a care

Or that I d..."

What a excellent rhyming poem, this is really good. Well done.

Gregory wrote: "David J wrote: "If you like this, "well and good" if you don't "well and good" the person I wrote it for loves it & to me that is worth more than all the poetry in the world.



Sharing some Tea

S..."

Thank you Gregory my friend.

G'day again, please feel free to comment, also it is the redroom director's father's voice, I couldn't make it in time for the recording.