Humor > Giveaways

[close] Englishman Lake Benson loaned his life savings to his dippy sister so that she could buy a shop. It was a big mistake. His sister has been steadily flushing his money down the drain – and now he wants it back. Years in the special forces taught Lake that if you want a job done, do it yourself. So he steps in to make the shop profitable, sell it and get his money back.

The only problem is, the business is an underwear shop. And all Lake knows about underwear can be summed up in how fast he can unsnap a bra. To make matters worse, the tiny highland town already has a lingerie shop. A successful one, run by an ex-lingerie model. A very gorgeous ex-lingerie model, who’s distracting him from his mission more than he’d like to admit. If Lake wants to get his savings back, and get out of Scotland, he only has one option – wipe out the competition.

Kirsty Campbell has spent years rebuilding her life after she woke up in hospital in Spain to find her body scarred, and her ex-fiance had run off with all her money. The last thing she needs is a cocky, English soldier-boy trying to ruin what little she has left. Her home town is only too happy to help her fight the latest English invasion, although Lake is beginning to sway them with his sex appeal and cut price knickers. With the help of her mother, and the retired ladies of Knit or Die, Kirsty sets about making sure that her shop is the last one standing in Invertary.

It’s Scotland versus England as you’ve never seen it before. It’s lingerie war.
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[close] While interning for Brent Locke, a devilishly cunning and handsome CEO, Cora Jacobs experiences an intense clash of values; find her true destiny or settle for security with her predictable boyfriend. During a work conference at the historic Hotel del Coronado in San Diego, the heartbreaking life and suspicious death of Kate Morgan, circa 1892, fascinates Cora when she experiences inexplicable happenings. While at The Del, Cora allows herself to explore her attraction for Brent through several sexual encounters intensified by their intellectual bantering. As Cora’s heart opens, there is another force at work keeping Brent and Cora apart.

Filled with suspenseful romantic mystery, sexual tension and humor, this first book of the 47 Destinies series will grab you from the start and carry you on an inspirational and unforgettable journey of destiny and love. [close]

[close] ANNIE CHOI HATES MUSICAL THEATER. SHE THINKS SANDWICHES ARE BORING. She likes camping, except for the outdoors part. At fifteen, her father made her read the entire car manual before allowing her to sit in the driver’s seat. Her neighbor, who has no cur­tains, is always naked. And she once chased down a man who stole her handbag.

All this is to say that Choi is one part badass and one part curmudgeon, with a soft spot for savage bears. Mostly she wants to ask the world: WTF?!

Written in Choi’s strikingly original and indignant voice, Shut Up, You’re Welcome paints a revealing portrait of Annie in all her quirky, compelling, riotous glory. Each of Choi’s personal essays begins with an open letter to someone (babies) or something (the San Fernando Valley) she has a beef with. From the time her family ditched her on Christmas to her father’s attach­ment to the World's Ugliest Table, Choi weaves together deeply personal experiences with laugh-out-loud observations, all of which will delight and entertain you. [close]

[close] ~~~Signed Print Copy~~~

Gorgeous hotel heiress Katelyn “Katie” Morrison seems to have it all. But when she crosses paths with Dean Prescott—the only man she’s ever loved—at her brother’s wedding, Katie realizes there’s a gaping hole in her life. After the ceremony she gets an even bigger surprise: a baby girl left on her doorstep. Determined to keep the newborn until she learns who her mother is, Katie has her hands full and doesn’t need Dean snooping around…especially when his presence stirs feelings she thought were long gone.

Dean Prescott knows Katie is lying to him about the baby. He shouldn’t care what the woman who broke his heart is up to…and he most certainly shouldn’t still be aching for her. Yet Dean can’t ignore the need to protect Katie—or the desire to be near her every chance he gets. But when he and Katie solve the mystery surrounding the baby, their second chance for happiness could be shattered forever. [close]

[close] A signed Copy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiAPGb...

For lovers of vampires this very funny novel is for you. In today's world it is difficult for everyone, teenagers especially. The stresses of school, deciding who to date, and the biggie...sex are just a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse and you might get an idea of what it's like growing up being a Vampire. At last the world can read of the diary of a girl with good teeth and the youngest member of the Pink Bat family does have very good sharp teeth. Adults want her to walk about in 18c nightdress all day without wearing underwear And with such cold winds blowing along the corridors - - - well that is so not going to happen. And as to guys well it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys - - - - . Just that she wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date.
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[close] The story follows the lives of the heavily financially burdened Colin and Isobel Griggs who are struggling to carve out a living farming in rural England. Colin is an archetypical, traditional English farmer who is finding it difficult to adjust to the modern methods, evermore bureaucratic times.
Their lives are changed with the delivery of a letter from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), advising them that all farming grants must be made through their website. This letter brings major financial woe for the Griggs’ and unbeknownst to them, will have far-reaching consequences. Izzy ever the optimist makes every effort to encourage Colin to focus on their strengths and to develop an alternative means of income. He, down, dejected and bereft of ideas, finds miraculous inspiration in a pink glazed donut. What ensues is a comical and entertaining storyline of opportunity, errors, misfortune, coincidence and chance.
Colin, his workforce of rabbits, an aging truck and the arrival of a Lady Diana Wills to the local Manor spur the business venture onto entrepreneurship brilliance. Then there is the influential life-long local Bank Manager - Steve Pryor, who’s last auspicious generous act prior to retirement has repercussions for Colin, and many in the village, including his own unsuspecting wife Julia. The consequences of Colin actions for elderly wartime hero Major Woods and his wife Margaret, who personifies the snobby busy-body type person in every village throughout England are considerable.
Unconventionally crafted, this story introduces unlikely scenarios, consequences and events combined with some extremely amusing tongue-in-cheek moments. How Colin’s business ventures turnouts, how it impacts the lives of those nearest to him, and what will be the consequences for the resident’s quiet lives of Henslow keeps you turning the page? [close]

[close] The predecessor / doppelgänger / kindred spirit of "Catastrophically Consequential", "Hideous Exuberance" remains, in this revised edition, a character-driven, highbrow-lowbrow, post-post-modern, comic-fantasy-nightmare dissecting the unbridled egoism, narcissism, and anti-intellectualism of the present day. This work is a flamboyant, surrealistic and experimental study of abusive and self-abusing characters, as well as a trashy, grungy, poetic and phantasmagorical horror laugh-fest.
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[close] A humour book with drawings and blurbs about the salient advantages of being thin! Explores the "lighter side" of being thin - pun intended! Excels as a gift for your loved ones - the ones you're always trying to fatten up with homecooked food! Also an inspirational gift for those who go to gyms and get fit! [close]

[close] After surviving a devastating car accident that took her father’s life, Bryn Woods feels as though she has nothing left for her in her hometown of Savannah, GA. Her boyfriend, Tyler Wilson, has left town suddenly leaving her alone. She leaves Savannah for college in New York City to escape her heartbreak.

Four years later Bryn receives a phone call pressing her to decide whether to sell her father’s house or move back home. Unable to bear the possibility of selling it, she permanently moves back to Savannah.

Hesitantly, Bryn lets the people of her past back into her heart as she gradually feels the protective walls she built crash around her. As she finds love again with Tyler, secrets start to unravel about his past. Bryn realizes there was more to his goodbye he gave four years ago. Tyler has secrets of his own—secrets connected to the death of Bryn’s father. Secrets Tyler didn’t even know he kept. [close]

[close] Banjos, Boats and Butt Dialing is the third installment in Mike Ball's What I've Learned... So Far series of books. In it the Erma Bombeck Award-winning humorist grapples with topics ranging from becoming a grandfather, to rabbit hunting, to the Zen of a middle-aged guy trying to cope with cleavage.

The book is a compilation of 74 entries from Mike's nationally-syndicated column, What I've Learned... So Far. His homespun wit, sharp sense of humor, and ability to connect with readers on an emotional level have been compared to Mark Twain, Erma Bombeck, Robert Benchley, and Ernie Pyle. [close]

[close] A humorous collection of anecdotal essays on how to deal with common adult life struggles that fall just short of FEMA intervention but are bigger than a duct tape and coat hanger fix. This stuff wasn’t supposed to happen to Madge, she’s college educated and comes from a good white collar Irish Catholic family. But she made it through an abusive marriage, co-parenting with her alcoholic ex who subsequently vanished, joblessness, homelessness, food stamps, dating, and raising three kids single handedly. Somehow she maintained her dignity and fabulousness and produced three very smart, well adjusted, successful children. These are life lesson stories filled with humor, common sense and snark.
“This book is very nice dear but I still think you should become a dental hygienist. They make good money you know. People always need their teeth cleaned.” – Madelyn Madigan, Madge’s Mother
“Funny and cleavage, a winning combination!” – A creepy guy that reads my blog [close]

[close] A sassy and fun mystery!

Caro Lamont, Laguna Beach’s most sought after pet therapist and amateur sleuth, is back with more coddled cats and pampered pooches. Unfortunately, her human neighbor, Kitty Bardot, has apparently used up her nine lives and Caro’s nose for trouble lands her in the middle of a murder investigation. Will Caro claw her way out of this one? Or it could be someone has committed the purr-fect crime. [close]

[close] Donny and Ursula Save the World is the funniest book about love, sex and GMO seeds you’ll ever read! In this wild-romp, sex-charged, romantic-mishap adventure, hopelessly mismatched lovers, Donny and Ursula, become unlikely heroes compelled beyond their mere neurotic existences. When an agribusiness giant threatens to control the world’s food supply through their toxic, terror-proof, GMO Freedom Seeds, Donny and Ursula team up with guerrilla gardeners, belly dancing feminists, gun-crazy survivalists, comic book heroes and mushroom messengers to become the outlaw defenders of Mother Earth, and rise up and save the day. This is the story of one woman’s seismic awakening, and how she came to save us all. [close]

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The bestselling author of This Is Where I Leave You returns with a hilarious and heart-rending tale about one family's struggle to reconnect.

“Mistakes have been made.” Drew Silver has begun to accept that life isn’t going to turn out as he expected. His fleeting fame as the drummer for a one-hit wonder rock band is nearly a decade behind him. His ex-wife is about to marry a terrific guy. And his Princeton-bound teenage daughter Casey has just confided in him that she’s pregnant—because Silver is the one she cares least about letting down.
So when Silver learns that he requires emergency life-saving heart surgery, he makes the radical decision to refuse the operation, choosing instead to spend what time he has left to repair his relationship with Casey, become a better man, and live in the moment—even if that moment isn’t going to last very long. As his exasperated family looks on, Silver grapples with the ultimate question of whether or not his own life is worth saving. [close]

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“A rollicking good ride.” —Jay Winik, bestselling author of April 1865

It’s the middle of a heat wave, and Charlie Schroeder is dressed in heavy clothing and struggling to row a replica eighteenth-century bateau down the St. Lawrence River. Why? Months earlier, Schroeder realized he knew almost nothing about history. But he wanted to learn, so the actor—best known for his role as Mr. Pussy on Sex and the City—spent a year reenacting it.

Man of War is Schroeder’s hilarious account of the time he spent chasing Celts in Arkansas, raiding a Viet Cong village in Virginia, and flirting with frostbite en route to “Stalingrad” in Colorado. Along the way, he illuminates just how much the past can teach us about the present. [close]

[close] Scrambled Words is the newest word game in the Uncle John's Bathroom Puzzler series. Once again, we've dreamed up a brand-new twist on a popular game.

This time, the puzzles are anagrams. We'll provide the first letter of a word and the category that it fits into. Then readers identify which CIRCLE contains the letters that--when unscrambled--fit the letter and the category, and writes that word in the correct SQUARE. As usual, just so no one gets too comfortable, we'll keep increasing the difficulty of the basic puzzles by adding some mind-bending variations...until, by the end of the book, all solvers are anagram experts!
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[close] Hello :-)

I am the author of The Cougar Diaries, Part I. Parts II & III are in the works. I have also written The Prequel which I am hoping to giveaway as much as possible - just so you can get a feeling of my writing.

I started off writing a non fiction book about divorce which suddenly segued into fiction - so I took all I knew about dating again and fictionalised it. What a hoot! I am the author of my own destiny now - I am writing the ending. So I can lead my main character through the valley of death, despair and trouble, but I am giving her a fabulous ending! Oh the power of the pen!

So, when possessions depart – and bravery enters by the main door – then it is time to write!(less)
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[close] Giving away autographed 10 pre-publication hard cover copies of a gorgeous full color book for lovers. It is a lush page turner of a different kind. May turn into hugs and kisses from the love of your life.

Tell your sweetheart you are completely and madly in love, just like Kit and Kitty. They are never too busy or proud to express that they are head over tails in love with each other. Vividly imagined and hand painted by W.C. Fielstra, Kit and Kitty in Love is an ode to love, to fill any romantic occasion with passion.

Visit my author page to sample the visual excerpt. I am eager to meet fans of anthropomorphic characters who are unafraid to give genuine reviews. Do stop by and become a friend at http://www.goodreads.com/wcfielstra [close]

[close] Win a signed hardcover of DEAR LIFE, YOU SUCK.

[close] Political and Social satire using fairytales as a vehicle.

Michelle Hartman’s recent collection of poetry, Disenchanted and Disgruntled, rings clear as a tuning fork with her strong and singular voice. Woven throughout we hear the sweet viciousness of truth masked as humor, the exposed underbelly of the fairytale, stories the Brothers Grimm would write today before going PG for a bigger crowd. Here we have Snow White’s most annoying dwarf and a princess with her own bank account, before Hartman moves on to other dark places where she dabs “beef blood/on wrists and knees,” before hearing “twigs snap from his weight,” places off the path where “we are nothing when wrapped/neatly in butcher paper.”

Hartman reminds the reader of Sylvia Plath, had Dorothy Parker been her mother, reminding us that the difference between “love and hate is backswing,” always written in that wonderful particularity that Pound called “no ideas but in things.” Read this, and look in the mirror.

Jeffrey DeLotto, PhD English – Texas Wesleyan University and author of Days of a Chameleon and Writ in Sand
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[close] "Similar in style to John Steinbeck. Well written and engaging...leaves you smiling." S Harrold

QUIT SCHOOL! is designed to make you think while you are laughing....eight humorous short stories, both tough and tender, that can change you life is you laugh more and think less.

This captivating "must read" reveals how wisdom really emerges....the essential, enduring lessons learned outside the classroom. You will smile at the funny, wise and heartbreaking stories in QUIT SCHOOL! as a young boy shows you how to drag the truth out of life. Eight spiritual lessons essential to all human happiness are hidden in the bumbling adventures of John 'the Crabber' White, a young boy growing up in a small seaside town along the south shore of Long Island, New York. Intrigued by an array of lovable, Damon Runyonesque characters from the 1950's that John encounters, and nodding your head in understanding as this young boy begins to figure things out, you will suddenly find yourself in tears as the underlying spiritual lesson becomes your lesson. Deceptively simple, QUIT SCHOOL! is an emotional roller coaster ride that, in the end, leaves you wondering what happened, like a unexpected punch while your head was turned.

"In Bennett's novel, a young boy from the shores of Long Island struggles with family tragedy, first love and even the supernatural. ...adventures that help him grow up fast, whether he likes it or not. Stories with genuine heart...a blend of the humorous and the sentimental, the devastating and the hopeful. Bennett's eagerness and sincerity shine through, giving some of the stories impressive power."
~Kirkus Reviews

"I usually have a problem with short stories: when I've read one I find it all too easy to put the book down and not return to it. This didn't happen with QUIT SCHOOL! Earlier in the week I had one of those dreadful days that leave you wound up and cross and I reached for a book to relax with. I didn't think about it - I picked up QUIT SCHOOL! because I KNEW that I would feel better for reading it. I did. Crabber worked his magic in these eight beautifully written stories."
Sue Magee, The Bookbag UK

"The Crabber will become a part of your psyche just like Salinger's Holden Caulfield! This book was impossible to put down, but as the end drew near, I found myself rationing pages so that I could delight in these 'coming of age' adventures a bit longer. This book belongs..in the hands of everyone who loves great literature."
ccreads

"A good story can transport you...to another time, another place, another life. Bennett writes with the kind of description that makes you feel you've been there, and it is still a faint memory. Adults and children will equally enjoy John White's experiences and find, by the end of the last one, that they wish for more."
Ben Sharpton, Author of 7 Sanctuaries.

"I grew up thinking all the same thoughts as John 'the Crabber' White. every scene brought a smile to my face because I saw myself reacting exactly like the Crabber. It was almost as if the author was writing about me. I recommend this entertaining read to anyone who likes to see the truth of our human condition portrayed in a humorous, but telling manner."
Keith's Picks

"An exciting book of short stories with a 'lesson to be learned' at the end of each. Great for children, teens and adults. A perfect book for a Language Arts teacher...my son is 10 and he thoroughly enjoyed reading each story and then "finding the moral in it."
AvidReader




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[close] When Judge Rosswell Carew makes the gruesome discovery of two corpses on a river bank in the Missouri Ozarks, he's plunged into a storm of deadly secrets that threaten both him and his fiancee, Tina Parkmore. Unsatisfied with the way the authorities are conducting the investigation, Rosswell, who's always nurtured a secret desire to be a detective, teams up with an ex-con, Ollie Groton, to solve the case before the killer can murder again. Rosswell uncovers a maze of crimes so tangled that he must fight his way to a solution or die trying. [close]

[close] As one of the first women sales reps in southern Appalachia, customers often call Diana the "lady salesman." She overcomes hurdles and hills while learning to love the mountains of Appalachia. Humor rides along as she treks back roads, selling products from tobacco to toys, from groceries to grease, and from cookies to chemicals. Managers, customers, and sales trainees enter into this tale along with the agony of small business ownership. [close]

[close] Rick Garvia is a writer, amateur landscaper, former professional homebuilder, traveler, yoga hack, reader, wine drinker, amateur photographer, boulder mover, dog lover, loud sneezer, spelling snob, coffee drinker, father, brother, son and a happily married regular guy facing growing older with equal amounts of frustration, amazement and aplomb.

The Road Gets Longer If I Stop is a collection of short stories from his popular blog. Described as “out-of-the-box, insightful, humorous, and smart,” each story digs deeper yet barely scratches the surface of a life spent trying to figure things out. The colorful short stories, insightful musings and razor sharp dialogue will capture the reader’s imagination and curiosity. [close]

[close] What would you do if true love showed up in the wrong package--and knocked your socks off? American actor John Kaiser lives in London where he's found fame as a television celebrity and theatrical star. He unwittingly falls in love with Brian Mallory, a reclusive Scottish millionaire who takes refuge in his London penthouse once a year to conduct business. Brian sees John as a shy, nervous and clumsy new friend, but John hopes they'll be much more than just friends--until he learns of a love rival: curvaceous, blonde, and sexy Carol Lexington. He's devastated when he realizes he can't compete with this beautiful woman. Or can he? And even if he could win Brian's love, what other forces would lie in wait to tear them apart? From the ritzy charity galas of London's elite to an English countryside manor and a stunning, riverfront luxury penthouse, this love story takes you on a journey of humor, happiness, pain, jealousy and bitter betrayal. Filled with quirky best friends, catastrophic events, and undying love and devotion, it's the story of a straight man who falls in love with a gay man who did everything wrong and still got everything right. " Straight Man Gay " does what "Giovanni's Room" and "Brokeback Mountain" couldn't: It takes the shame out of being gay and in love. [close]

[close] The Jesus Year explores the space between joy and tragedy, happiness and despair, sincerity and absurdity. A husband won’t throw his wife a party for her thirty-third birthday; a woman becomes obsessed with redecorating her familial cabin; a couple’s west coast elopement turns dangerous; a father must talk his daughter out of cancelling her wedding; a mother meets her thirty-year-old daughter for the first time; three friends’ lives collide at an annual Christmas party; and a downtown couple drive to a prairie church to plan the perfect wedding.
In these stories, the banal details of life crash against momentous occasions, revealing what is hidden, and recasting what is already in plain sight. [close]

[close] A compilation of the first three novellas in the Fairy Tales & Ever Afters series!

Loving a Fairy Godmother:

It ain’t easy being the only Fairy Godfather in existence, especially when the Fairy Godmother of your dreams wants you kicked out of the program.

Tiernan is given his hardest assignment yet – get a girl by the name of Cinderella her HEA or lose his status as a Fairy Godfather. His supervisor for this job is none other than Reina, the one woman he’s interested in and the one woman who wants nothing to do with him. Well, Reina better watch out, because Tiernan has decided Fairy Godmothers deserve to have Happily Ever Afters too.

Loving an Ugly Beast:

When a Beast gets a chance to become a Beauty, he takes it.

Benton never cared what anyone thought of him until Nissa entered his life, but to win her love he would do anything, including make a wish to a Fairy Godmother to change himself. Now he is everything he wasn’t before – handsome, charming, and desirable. But does Nissa really prefer beauty, or will she fight to get her beast back?

Loving a Prince Charming:

If you’re engaged to a Cursed Princess, don’t expect life to be easy.

Seth’s intended is the princess of the neighboring kingdom, a poor soul nicknamed ‘Sleeping Beauty’ because of the curse placed on her. While he’s never met her, he won’t let an innocent suffer and is determined to rescue her before the curse takes effect. But to get to her, he needs the help of Kira, his personal guard and best friend. Unfortunately, only love can break the curse, and while he has no feelings for the princess, his feelings for Kira grow stronger by the day…
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[close] When poetry meets theatre in the mind of Jason Christie, a smashing performance results! Then as the curtains close, Christie sneaks off the stage, through the scenery, and out into the wilds of the Internet — and straight into the footlights and teleprompters of human experience. Like a method actor in character long after the credits have rolled, off set, off his rocker, Christie runs wild from Goethe’s Faust to Burton’s, through 1984 and B movies from the ’80s and back again. Beneath his offerings to the actor — questionable acting lessons, dubious plot treatments — lurks a deep unease at our accepted practices of looking at each other, kid. Get out the popcorn and turn on your mobile device. This is going to get dramatic. [close]

[close] ENTER TO WIN A FREE ADVANCE COPY!

In this inspiring, delightful memoir, a young woman decides to escape the daily grind and turn her “what if” fantasy into a reality, only to find work—and a man—she loves in one fell swoop, all in a secondhand bookstore in a quaint Scottish town.

Jessica Fox was an ambitious twenty-six-year-old filmmaker, but she was stuck in a rut and couldn’t take it anymore. Living in Hollywood and working a high-stress job at NASA, she was seized by a moment of inspiration one night and typed “second hand bookshop Scotland” into Google. She clicked on the first link she saw. A month later, she crossed the Atlantic to the west coast of Scotland, and knocked on the door of the bookshop she would be calling home for the next year…

The rollercoaster journey that ensued—involving Scottish Hanukkah, a swoon-worthy love story, yoga on Galloway’s West Coast, and a waxing that Jessica will never forget—would both break and mend her heart. It would also teach her that before we can write our own stories, we must have the courage to travel the path less taken.

If you’ve ever wondered how you could change the course of your life, Jessica’s charming story will entertain, enlighten, and inspire you to begin your own journey of self-discovery. [close]

[close] Drew Evans is a winner. Handsome and arrogant, he makes multimillion dollar business deals and seduces New York’s most beautiful women with just a smile. He has loyal friends and an indulgent family. So why has he been shuttered in his apartment for seven days, miserable and depressed?

He’ll tell you he has the flu.

But we all know that’s not really true.

Katherine Brooks is brilliant, beautiful and ambitious. She refuses to let anything - or anyone - derail her path to success. When Kate is hired as the new associate at Drew’s father’s investment banking firm, every aspect of the dashing playboy’s life is thrown into a tailspin. The professional competition she brings is unnerving, his attraction to her is distracting, his failure to entice her into his bed is exasperating.

Then, just when Drew is on the cusp of having everything he wants, his overblown confidence threatens to ruin it all. Will he be able untangle his feelings of lust and tenderness, frustration and fulfillment? Will he rise to the most important challenge of his life?

Can Drew Evans win at love?

Tangled is not your mother’s romance novel. It is an outrageous, passionate, witty narrative about a man who knows a lot about women…just not as much as he thinks he knows. As he tells his story, Drew learns the one thing he never wanted in life, is the only thing he can’t live without [close]