Andrea’s review of City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments, #1) > Likes and Comments

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message 1: by Tatiana (new)

Tatiana I always appreciate a long, passionate COB rant:)


message 2: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro The funny thing is that this was the nice version of my rant. I can't believe that people actually PAY to read this woman's books. This is why I asked for those sci-fi recs - young adult is just wearing on me hard and reading glorified fan fiction definitely doesn't help. I ordered Lathe of Heaven last night, though. :)


message 3: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia Good review. This book RANKLED me. All of the squicky-icky incest and the obvious ganking from better stories.
I think I could write something better. It would have terrible grammar though, as my grammar gets very e.e. cummings.
Also she dissed Simon. It was so unfair. Simon was such a nice guy. Just once I want the nice guy to get the girl and not some stupid arrogant bad boy JERK.
And don't get me started on that girl's mother.
URGH THOSE BOOKS ANNOY THE BEEJEESUS OUT OF ME.


message 4: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Synethesia, I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me not to write this entire review in all caps because I was so angry and irritated and grossed out. I mean, it'd be one thing if they kind of liked each other and then Clare had dropped the sibling bombshell, but NO, they MADE OUT FIRST. Who does that? Not to discredit any writing ability you have, but I think a drunk toddler with a concussion could write something better than this. NICE GUYS NEVER GET THE GIRL. I am so sick of all these 'heroes' being dumb assholes. Where are all the nice guys? Where are all the strong, not doormat-y heroines? THEY DON'T EXIST. I want books upon books about strong women, but they're mythical. Like unicorns. :(


message 5: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia See, that's why I must have more confidence in my writing. If all of these people can cobble together stuff that's mostly rip offs like that dude that wrote Eragon, why shouldn't I try? I've been working on some stuff for over a decade, but I always think, aw, I suck, but then I read something like this and my head explodes.

I did like those nerdy monk dudes though. They were cool. And the marks. But so much of this book is ripped off from better books and again, why are there so many stupid bad boy heros? I hate bad boys! Bad boys are so annoying and stupid and I want strong women too!
Grrrrr


message 6: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro I feel the exact same way. Most young adult stuff is essentially fan fiction. A friend of mine did a HILARIOUS review for Carrie Ryan's The Forest of Hands and Teeth (here) with a formula for writing young adult these days and it's so true. I guarantee you that you're a better writer than anyone that's writing in the genre right now; you know all the stupid tropes that everyone hates, so you can avoid them. Therefore, I will be first in line to buy your book.

I like the nerdy monk guys, too, but I thought it was lifted from the Matrix (the first when Neo is getting questioned by Mr. Anderson) and that creature from Silent Hill, but I was probably stretching it, there. The tattoos were cool, too. I always thought that if I wrote a book, it'd be a kick ass girl heroine with a tattoo sleeve or something. I don't know.


message 7: by Cory (new)

Cory I'll be honest. I didn't get past the first three chapters. That happens a lot with this bad YA fantasy garbage. But I did look up her history and I read the wikipedia summary. I hated Jace the moment he spoke. And Clarey is so obviously a self-insert. No wonder she and Holly Black get along so well. They're both not very good writer. My favorite quote from this would have to be:

My dog knew that Simon was in love with her and the most complicated thought he has in a day is, 'gee, I think I'll lick my junk today'.



message 8: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Cory wrote: "I'll be honest. I didn't get past the first three chapters. That happens a lot with this bad YA fantasy garbage. But I did look up her history and I read the wikipedia summary. I hated Jace the mom..."

I have this weird OCD thing where I have to finish everything that I start, particularly if it makes me ragey. Actually, the only books that I can remember putting down are ones that just flat-out bore me and eventually, I come back to them. I WISH I could get over it; I'd have fewer headaches.

Jace is just another dumb, arrogant prick in fan fiction turned young adult fiction, so it's nothing new that I hate him. At least he's not rapey and wanting to kill her like Twilight, Vampire Diaries, Hush Hush, every ya book ever, etc. I haven't read any Holly Black aside from the Geektastic short. I think I only liked that because there was a pon-farr joke.

So true about my dog, though. He's actually not dumb. He probably could write a better book than this. :(


message 9: by Cory (new)

Cory I wish I could finish everything I started. I have twenty books that I've started reading, but I keep finding other stuff to do.

Holly Black isn't worth the time. I really don't like her writing style. It's really choppy and unorganized. Plus, she tries too hard to be edgy and hip. But not as hard as Rachel Cohn and David Levithan. I expected great things from them and they failed me.


message 10: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro I know what you're talking about. Before I cleaned up my currently-reading shelf today, I was in the middle of reading seven books. I perpetually am in the middle of at least five or so; I keep one in each room and I have a non-fiction to read and a fiction, etc.

Eh, I'm going to have to remember that. Her short was probably only as good as it was because she wrote it with Cecil Castellucci. Oh, man. I do like Levithan sometimes, but I got this new collab they did together - Dash and Lily's Book of Dares - and the whole time I was reading it I was like, WHY does David write with Rachel? She's crap in a handbag.


message 11: by Cory (new)

Cory Oh yes. He can write. I know he can. Me and my sister started reading Dash and Lily, we stopped because it was so bad. But you know their writing formula.


message 12: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia I gave up on trying to read the 3rd book in this series. Last year was a terrible year for books! Especially books with good looking covers. They turned out to be some of the worse books ever making me yell at them...
on the subway....
in front of people...


message 13: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Cory wrote: "Oh yes. He can write. I know he can. Me and my sister started reading Dash and Lily, we stopped because it was so bad. But you know their writing formula."

I actually thought the concept for the book was really great, but I read it and yeah, it did ultimately suck. Plot wasted! But that's nothing new, sadly.


message 14: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Synesthesia wrote: "I gave up on trying to read the 3rd book in this series. Last year was a terrible year for books! Especially books with good looking covers. They turned out to be some of the worse books ever makin..."

I will probably read all of them plus the other series just to attempt to even the playing field in her reviews since crazy people keep voting her above four stars. That's probably vindictive, but if I was writing this crap, I'd expect people to do the same thing to me.

But yep, I get irrationally angry at books all the time. Speaking of pretty colors and possibly bad content, have you read Across the Universe by Beth Revis yet?


message 15: by Cory (new)

Cory I really want to read Across the Universe, but I'm unable to find a copy. I like to read books before I buy them -- mostly because all my money is going towards college. Have you read it? Is it awesome?


message 16: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia i will have to read that book. I have to do something about my library fees. The weather has kept me from the library and it's sadly closed on Saturdays.

I need more books. I'm reading Wraeththu now, but it's far from being young adult.


message 17: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Cory wrote: "I really want to read Across the Universe, but I'm unable to find a copy. I like to read books before I buy them -- mostly because all my money is going towards college. Have you read it? Is it awe..."

I can send you a copy if you want? But, I feel you. I usually read first chapters or whatever on the author's website before I read ANYTHING because money is too tight to spend it on a craptastic book. I've read a little bit - just the first chapter - and the concept is awesome. I figured I'd really get into it whenever I finish with Darkfever.


message 18: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Synesthesia wrote: "i will have to read that book. I have to do something about my library fees. The weather has kept me from the library and it's sadly closed on Saturdays.

I need more books. I'm reading Wraeththu n..."


Oh, the library. I don't even have a card to mine, but I have a friend that runs a used bookshop. I worked a little bit for her for free and ever since, she lets me go and take home what I want at no charge, so I'm kind of lucky if she has anything good.

What's Wraeththu about?


message 19: by Cory (new)

Cory I'd really appreciate a copy. I love Science Fiction and I read the first chapter, which was pretty good.


message 20: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Cory wrote: "I'd really appreciate a copy. I love Science Fiction and I read the first chapter, which was pretty good."

All right, I can send it. Can you do a .lit file or do you need a .pdf?


message 21: by Cory (new)

Cory Lit is good. I have Calibre installed.


message 22: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Cory wrote: "Lit is good. I have Calibre installed."

All right. Check your inbox on here shortly!


message 23: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia In Wraeththu men mutant in to these mystical hermaphrodites and they have to cope with this.
It's better than it sounds, though the writing at times gets a bit floral and Britishy. I do not know what is up with English folks and their tendency to write in an English manner but it's rather enjoyable like a nice cup of tea and some Patrick Wolf.
She also has 3 more books after Wraeththu in which she torments my beloved characters from the first 3 books some more. Those were also rather good.


message 24: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Synesthesia wrote: "In Wraeththu men mutant in to these mystical hermaphrodites and they have to cope with this.
It's better than it sounds, though the writing at times gets a bit floral and Britishy. I do not know wh..."


I'm sorry, you had me at 'mystical hermaphrodites'. Now I have to read it.


message 25: by Brooke (new)

Brooke Ouch. That's one long, scathing review Andrea! Lol. Interesting to read your thoughts and I respect your and other reviewers' opinions, but i must say I'm quite enjoying the books, regardless of the above :) Shame you found it to be so disappointing!

Oh and to the member mentioning Across The Universe (I'm on my iPhone so can only skim and can't check your name, sorry!), it was rather good. I'd recommend it!


message 26: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Brooke wrote: "Ouch. That's one long, scathing review Andrea! Lol. Interesting to read your thoughts and I respect your and other reviewers' opinions, but i must say I'm quite enjoying the books, regardless of th..."

Looking back, I think I was probably a little meaner that I had to be when I wrote this. I just know a little about Cassandra Clare's history and how she plagiarized like, whole paragraphs from various television shows, books, and films, and I didn't read this book with an objective eye.

That said, I don't think she's a bad writer. Her writing does get on my nerves a lot, but everyone needs time to grow. I do think she is very capable of writing a story and luring readers in with certain scenes, so she's not totally untalented. That said, I'll probably still read her other books. If you look at them and can ignore basic similarities to other novels, movies, etc., then the books are pretty entertaining. I might even start City of Glass (or is it Ashes?) today?

That's Cory! She's got a copy of it now. Was it awesome, Brooke? I bet it was awesome.


message 27: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia There's also magical genitalia in that book and magical sex. I like it a lot.


message 28: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Synesthesia wrote: "There's also magical genitalia in that book and magical sex. I like it a lot."

Why is this shaping up to be the book of my dreams? WHY?


message 29: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia I hope you like them then. There's a whole series of them starting with Wraeththu. Which is 3 books in one. I love that series and her good character development skills.


message 30: by Cory (new)

Cory Shima wrote: "You are very entitled to You opinion, but i think it was quite childish. If You didn't like it, then u shouldn't have bought it. simple i know right. anyways i think she did a great job, and i thin..."

If you want to be taken seriously, type in English. And why did you capitalize you, then switch to 'u'?


message 31: by Mel (new)

Mel Shima wrote: "You are very entitled to You opinion, but i think it was quite childish. If You didn't like it, then u shouldn't have bought it. simple i know right. anyways i think she did a great job, and i thin..."

If you don't like her opinion, you shouldn't have read her one star review which obviously has nothing nice to say about the book you like.

simple i know right.


message 32: by Shannon (new)

Shannon Love your review!! I only got about half way through this book before the cliche-ness got to me and I had to stop. Now you have convinced me not to try it again. :D


obsidian butterflies Unfortunately, it's hard for a newer series to be completely different from any other series already published. Obviously, any modern writer is going to have similar themes, situations, or familiar characters. This author took her knowledge of other books she read as a child and let her imagination build off those. In other words, EVERY idea begins somewhere or based off another. Too bad you couldn't see the true beauty in this book as others do.


message 34: by Cory (new)

Cory obsidian butterflies wrote: "Unfortunately, it's hard for a newer series to be completely different from any other series already published. Obviously, any modern writer is going to have similar themes, situations, or familiar..."

My, we're being self-righteous. Too bad you know nothing about Cassandra Clare's history as a plagiarist. ):


message 35: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia True beauty? *eyetwitch*


message 36: by Kat Kennedy (new)

Kat Kennedy Love it, Andrea. I get it. I totally get it. People accuse me of being way harsh in my Clockwork Angel review but, honestly, it's all I can do to refrain from going on a murder rampage with a chainsaw just THINKING about it!

Also I think Ive toned the review down three times now and it's still a garbled, incoherent mess of rage.

I totally agree with everything you said!


message 37: by Lenette (last edited Mar 18, 2011 10:31AM) (new)

Lenette Hi Andrea, thank you SO MUCH for your review, as it voiced all of my grievances, frustrations and suppressed urges to toss the book through the nearest window.

My only addition would be that mundies = Muggles...totally winced when I saw that.


message 38: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia Mundies... annoyed the CRUD out of me. The clave was so... what is the word for being racist only it's not about a race but a group of people or something?
They were like that in HP, but a lot of folks in it WEREN'T that way. It seemed the whole Clave was hateful about "Mundanes" and everything else.
The jerk holes.


message 39: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Latest, I know, but to anyone that describes this crap-in-a-handbag book as 'true beauty', I'm too busy loling at your naivete to bother replying to your comment with a twenty item list of why you are WRONG on the internet.


message 40: by [deleted user] (new)

hi. um sorry for intruding on your rant session, but i just want to ask you if you've ever written a book and published it yourself. i dont know... i was just wondering because you seem to have SUCH GOOD ADVICE FOR ALL THOSE SUCCESSFUL AUTHORS OUT THERE, not to mention all your experience with dumbass movies like star wars and xmen (i mean- you can literally quote the movie, which is more than i can say for myself). also, why the hell are you reading this book in the first place, and in the second place you seem to have plently of time on your hands to actually comment on it. sorry, i couldnt help but notice your age is almost 30 on your profile. this book is for teenagers (like me, so i suppose i have the right to comment). maybe you should get off your big fat ass horse, get a life, and start telling your 11 year old niece to STOP READING BOOKS WHERE CHARACTERS NEARLY HAVE SEX!!! and yes, i'll admit this book had errors in it. the i'm-a-tiny-redhead-and-my-life-sucks-even-though-i'm-part-angel-and-have-a-hot-semiboyfriend thing was pretty cliche. and the monsters were childish in some parts. but honestly, this book was addicting and the characters were unique. i've never watched a full star wars movie (i fell asleep during the beginning credits), or really any of those books or movies you were talking about (except for harry potter) but even in harry potter, i think you are getting a little confused with your characters. well, thanks for allowing me to get this sarcastic rant out, and maybe if you werent so insane, we could be friends. but ange, i think you need to grow up and read eat pray love, or possibly start watching some R rated movies, INSTEAD of reading books meant for people half your age, and rewatching sappy movies about evil space guys wearing black cooking pots over their heads and flying in washing machines.


message 41: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia First of all, just because someone publishes books, it doesn't mean the book is actually GOOD.
Second of all, YA books shouldn't just be for teenagers. Some of them are quite brilliant.
And who the hell wants to read Eat Pray Love when they can read something better than that regardless of the age group? I'm not ashamed to read books for people of all ages because when they're good, they are EXCELLENT.

This one, not so much.
And, Star Wars, at least the original trilogy possesses some time honoured archetypes and it's not just about some guy wearing a black cooking pot, but the age old struggle between good and evil and going from being an ordinary person to one who shapes the future of the galaxy.
Catch up!


message 42: by [deleted user] (new)

Andrea wrote: "Synethesia, I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me not to write this entire review in all caps because I was so angry and irritated and grossed out. I mean, it'd be one thing if they kind of..."

but you see, the sibling-in-love part pulled you in. it got an emotional response out of you. you were interested. i guess cassie clare must b an evil genius anyhow. and guy heros are always assholes because nice people are boring, and girls like assholes b/c their repulsion towards the girls is "mysterious"


message 43: by [deleted user] (new)

Synesthesia wrote: "Good review. This book RANKLED me. All of the squicky-icky incest and the obvious ganking from better stories.
I think I could write something better. It would have terrible grammar though, as my g..."


sorry for criticizing all your reviews; i truly can be a respectful person, but i'm just in a pissy mood. simon disgusted me, he was too video-game-rat/band-boy for me, i guess. and clary's mom had to get kidnapped or else she'd always be peeking over clary's shoulder and then nothing interesting would happen. ever realize the parents are ALWAYS ignoring their children in every YA book?


message 44: by [deleted user] (new)

Synesthesia wrote: "First of all, just because someone publishes books, it doesn't mean the book is actually GOOD.
Second of all, YA books shouldn't just be for teenagers. Some of them are quite brilliant.
And who th..."


sure thing... i'll just get out my collection of inspirational-save-earth-from-green-immagrents videos and some of my cherished comics with men who can sprout 3 foot fingernails to defend themselves from evil perverts and get started on this "become the space-alien-fighting messiah". may the force be with me, because i'm gunna need some pretty kickass energy bars.


message 45: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia Dang. Simon's more my sort of guy. I like nerdy band guys who like video games. Folks can keep the assholes away from me and send me the nice nerdy loyal friend dudes that the heroines don't want because they think they're too nerdy.


message 46: by [deleted user] (new)

simon is a vampire and he has 2 girlfriends


message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

and its not that i have a problem with nerds, dont worry its only the video game part. which i guess thats not a horrible issue either, just not my personal taste. maybe he just reminds me too much of somebody i know...and the fact that i dont have a single video game. im a bit biased if you know what i mean. isnt everyone.


message 48: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Ari wrote: "hi. um sorry for intruding on your rant session, but i just want to ask you if you've ever written a book and published it yourself. i dont know... i was just wondering because you seem to have SUC..."

I am sure that what you want is for me to get ragey at your comment and respond so you can stand on your soapbox and make your defense for a known plagiarist, but all I can think to say to you is my opinion is my opinion and lol butthurt over a Cassandra Clare novel.


message 49: by Andrea (new)

Andrea Caro Synesthesia wrote: "First of all, just because someone publishes books, it doesn't mean the book is actually GOOD.
Second of all, YA books shouldn't just be for teenagers. Some of them are quite brilliant.
And who th..."


Guess what? I love you.


message 50: by Synesthesia (new)

Synesthesia Simon's a fictional character. But stupid Clary should have given him a chance. Choosing an arrogant asshole over her best friend.
That's it. I need to get a nerdy best friend. *runs off to do this.


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