Michael’s review of The Gormenghast Novels (Gormenghast, #1-3) > Likes and Comments

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message 1: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake Boo.


message 2: by Kelly (new)

Kelly ...... ???? ... !!!...


message 3: by Michael (new)

Michael Agreed.

.....??????....why are you booing on my review?


message 4: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake It's not a review. You just stuck five stars on it and called it a day. If that's all you're doing, I'm going to say something about it: IT'S THE BEST FANTASY SERIES EVER.


message 5: by Michael (new)

Michael Okay. And do you have evidence to back up your claim?


message 6: by George (new)

George Martin His claim is fallacious. He's obviously never read my series, A Song of Ice and Fire. He's obviously never read Tolkien's series, either. Have you ever heard of The Lord of the Rings, queef? It's--


message 7: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake Shut up.


message 8: by George (new)

George Martin How did you do that? You interrupted me in the middle of my--


message 9: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake Zip it.

My series is better than that overindulgent pile of masturbatory cinder blocks you call a series. Besides, I have a good excuse for not finishing mine...I went crazy and died. What's your excuse?


message 10: by George (new)

George Martin I'M WORKING ON IT. IT'S HARD TO WRITE A SERIES WITH NINE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN CHARACTERS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.


message 11: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake I would assume the process is simplified drastically by the fact that nine hundred twenty nine of these characters are flat, and seven of the other eight are dead. Am I wrong?


message 12: by George (new)

George Martin .........


message 13: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake That's what I thought. Eat a dick.


message 14: by Chinal (last edited Dec 07, 2010 08:30PM) (new)

Chinal Melville OI! THERE'S NO NEED TO BE RUDE, PEAKE. You wrote a damn good series, and it transcends fantasy literature by simultaneously crafting a world that's unreal, yet making it a world that's unlike any other fantasy universe created. And, nobody has successfully imitated this series yet, even though lots of fantasy readers think it's equal to Tolkien's trilogy.

That said.

I'M CHINAL MELVILLE, BITCH. I SEAMLESSLY BLEND SF AND FANTASY, AND I DO IT WITH FULLY FLESHED OUT CHARACTERS. EVENTUALLY I'M GOING TO ESCAPE THE SF/FAN SHELVES WHEN THE STRENGTHS OF MY WRITING ARE RECOGNIZED BY A WIDER PUBLIC. MEANWHILE, YOU'LL STILL BE WALLOWING ON GENRE SHELVES, OLD MAN.

Not to mention, I'M FUCKING HOT! Just ask Ceridwen. Girls want to rub my shiny bald head and play with all the jewelry hanging from my face. You've decomposed. You're dirt.


message 15: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake Well, you're right about your shiny bald head. I DO want to rub it.

On some other accounts, I'll have to disagree.

You still have potential, young China, but the last five or six of your novels have suffered from lame, flat, bland characters. Not to mention, as you produce novels at a faster and faster rate, your ideas seem less fully developed and more scattered. While P.S.S. and The Scar could reasonably transcend the SF/Fan shelves, your later ouvre has pushed you firmly back into pulpville, as you indulge in your fetishes for detective fiction and comic book characterizations.

In summary, good sir, EAT A DICK. You ain't on my level. You're like Young MC trying to go up against Jay-Z. Don't get hurt, little boy.


message 16: by Scribble (new)

Scribble Orca Well, come on Michael. Don't keep the audience waiting for godot (oh sorry, wrong review).


message 17: by Michael (new)

Michael I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just as confused by what's happening here as you are.


message 18: by Scribble (new)

Scribble Orca What is happening? And who are you, anyway? Come to think of it, where are we? And what does it all mean?


message 19: by Mariel (new)

Mariel This thread has made my day.


message 20: by Nancy (new)

Nancy I'm laughing so hard that I just spilled water all over myself.


message 21: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake I don't see what's so funny. Perhaps it's that China Mieville would think he has skills like mine. I'm guessing that his lack of a response means he has conceded defeat.


message 22: by Jrr (new)

Jrr Tolkien B1TCH-@$$ B1TCH! Everybody knows who the king of fantasy is. Don't make me give you wedgies, Mervyn. I'll do it.


message 23: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake We meet again, Tolkien. En Garde!


message 24: by Mariel (new)

Mariel Where's old Gene Wolfie?


message 25: by Jrr (new)

Jrr Tolkien BLAM! POW!


message 26: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake KICK! KICK! KARATE KICK!

P.S. If you're looking for Gene Wolfe, you should probably check my stool. You'll probably find small, meaty chunks of him.


message 27: by Mariel (new)

Mariel *love*


message 28: by Jrr (new)

Jrr Tolkien LASER BEAMS FROM EYES! GRENADE! GRENADE!


message 29: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake DODGE GRENADE! ROCK BOTTOM! DECAPITATE WITH SHOVEL!


message 30: by Jrr (new)

Jrr Tolkien Forsooth! I've been slain! Errrrrgggggggg.......


message 31: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake Haha. It's a fact, verified: I am the balls. None can compete with the Gormenghast trilogy. My eccentric, nuanced--


message 32: by Dostoevsky (new)

Dostoevsky Pardon me, but I happened to notice your conversation. I'm Dostoevsky. Perhaps you've heard of me?


message 33: by Mervyn (new)

Mervyn Peake Uhhh...............




.....................





..........*eats a dick*


message 34: by Dostoevsky (new)

Dostoevsky That's what I thought.


message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

Wow. You got some heavy hitters fighting on here. Not bad.

Hey, Dostoevsky. What up.


message 36: by Keely (new)

Keely "ROCK BOTTOM!"

Beats lasers every time.


message 37: by Dostoevsky (new)

Dostoevsky Hey, Dostoevsky. What up.

Why, hello, Ariel..have I mentioned that I'm single?


message 38: by Mariel (new)

Mariel Like 'cause this thread is the best thing I've read all day. That's Peake's Progress for ya. (And Gormenghast are my favorites.)


message 39: by Jacob (last edited Dec 07, 2010 05:25PM) (new)

Jacob Dostoevsky can't use html. What a dork.

That said, I hate to poop in your punchbowl, folks, but the real China Mieville got very angry at Facebook a few months ago for allowing fake author profiles of him, and I'd hate to see him get angry at us on Goodreads. I don't know what George thinks, and obviously these other folks can't complain, but China is a big strong muscle-y (and handsome) dude, and I'd hate to see him angry.

I’ll let this guy sum things up for me:

leavebritneyalone

LEAVE CHINA ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!


message 40: by [deleted user] (new)

Holy shit, Michael. You have gone insane.

I approve.


message 41: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Jacob wrote: "the real China Mieville got very angry at Facebook a few months ago for allowing fake author profiles of him, and I'd hate to see him get angry at us on Goodreads"

Goodreads China! Add a middle name! Save yourself from the real, muscle-y, handsome China!


message 42: by Jacob (new)

Jacob leavebritneyalone


message 43: by Michael (new)

Michael Dammit, Jacob, every time I fill a bowl with punch, you go and poop in it. Hmmm, I'm pretty startled that, of all the authors in the world, CHINA would be the one to get shitty about fauxfiles. I shall have to do something so I don't have to feel the wrath of the CHINA.


message 44: by Kat Kennedy (last edited Dec 07, 2010 08:18PM) (new)

Kat Kennedy This thread has kept me entertained. Probably mostly because Dostoyevsky was hitting on Ariel. Which, in retrospect, strangely makes sense.

Also, that he is having a personal identity crisis. Which also, strangely, makes sense.


message 45: by [deleted user] (new)

What this thread needs is more sock puppets.


message 46: by Michael (new)

Michael I don't know who this "China" is that you people are speaking of. My good friend Chinal, however, would like to say he's glad to have met you all. You can wipe the tears--and some of the mascara--from your eyes, dear Jacob, and come out from underneath that blanket. And put some pants on.


message 47: by Whitaker (new)

Whitaker It's a sad day when a warning like that has to be posted. It's like having a warning label on cans of peanuts that say "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUTS". Oh wait.... I think I'll go get the world checked into a santarium now.


message 48: by [deleted user] (new)

Whitaker wrote: "It's a sad day when a warning like that has to be posted. It's like having a warning label on cans of peanuts that say "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUTS". Oh wait.... I think I'll go get the world checked..."

LO fulking L. MAY CONTAIN NUTS. *crying*


message 49: by Jacob (new)

Jacob Also, I heard that George R. R. Martin is just as annoyed about fake profiles, but his brother Sneorge R. R. Martin doesn't mind at all.


message 50: by Kat Kennedy (last edited Dec 07, 2010 09:27PM) (new)

Kat Kennedy Sneorge is way cooler than George, naturally.

Whitaker - it's already happened.

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