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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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4.27 of 5 stars 4.27  ·  rating details  ·  121 ratings  ·  14 reviews
Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers
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Paperback, 292 pages
Published July 1st 2011 by New Harbinger Publications (first published January 1st 2011)
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Jennifer Ann Fox
this book was recommended to me by a professional and it really made alot of sense when reading this book about narcissistic personalities or toxic relationships. I would highly recommend this to anyone divorcing in similar situations because it's the way you respond to the situations that's important and this book makes so much sense and spells it out for the reader.
Michellle
Interesting book but not targeted for information I was seeking. I am going to begin reading Disarming the Narcissist soon which I understand is a much, much better book for understanding how to relate and pull away in a healthy manner from a narcissist. Let you know!
Scott
I can't say that I read this book so much as I studied it. If you're just going to read it straight through without taking notes, it goes very quickly, otherwise, you may want to give yourself a couple days to really absorb everything. I can't overstate what a great resource it is. I've only owned my copy for two months and since then I've read, reread, and referred back to sections of it so many times that it looks like I've been carrying it around all year.

Some of the most important things you
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Terrah Mayes
If you or someone you know is experiencing a high conflict divorce then this book is the bible to survival. Is it a fun read that escapes you from reality? No! It is likely the reality that you're living. So why would you want to read it? Because you will likely see similarities that will mirror your experiences and it will give you insight and wisdom as far as how to better deal with your, shall we say unbelievably irrational and beyond reasonable ex. Splitting is actually a clinical term, it i ...more
Laurice Grae-Hauck
This book is a must read for anyone involved in a high conflict divorce. If you haven't left your marriage yet and are dealing with a high-conflict personality or a "blamer" START HERE and arm yourself before you get started. These helpful insights could save you thousands of dollars in attorney fees and years of court battles.
Ann Schaffer
This is a great book for anyone going through a difficult divorce. I read this book to support my brother. It helped predict his wife's behavior and helped us know how to fight for custody. On the books recommendation, we focused on revealing her patterns of behavior to the court, backed up with examples.
Teresa
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Amir Powell
Awesome read! While the subject matter can be a bit depressing, Bill Eddy provides essential tools for dealing with a BPD or NPD person throughout a divorce process.
Leabelle
This is a book with good advice for people involved in difficult end of relationship situations with people suffering from borderline or narcissistic personality disorders. It is very sad in some ways to realise that many people live in the love-hate world of these disorders, making unreasonable demands and not even realising they are doing this. It certainly sets both the people with the conditions and their partners up for very painful divorces, custody battles and property settlements. This b ...more
Sharon
Only talked about a handful of cases. I would have liked more examples. Plus, I was specifically interested in Narcissistic Personality Disorder and that wasn't talked about as much as Borderline, or it was blended with Borderline PD and the advice was too general to be helpful. What i did get out of the book was to avoid court as much as possible because of the costs, dealing with NPD personalities, and emotional trauma. The authors should have read the book, Malignant Self Love, about narcissi ...more
Sarenna
I wish I had read this years ago. it explained so much. I have a whole new outlook on my situation, and can better understand why my court and mediation battles turned out how they did. I HIGHLY recommend this to anyone going through or survivors of a difficult divorce.
Angela McCuiston
Excellent resource on what to expect in a divorce when dealing with a person with NPD or BPD. Will be re-reading and passing on to other people
Mandy
Valuable information on how to handle divorce from a narcissist.
Olivia
Good advice.
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Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training on this subject to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businessperso ...more
More about Bill Eddy...
Biff: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns It's All Your Fault!: 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything High Conflict People in Legal Disputes Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce High Conflict Personalities: Understanding And Resolving Their Costly Disputes

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“the behavior of parents, other parties, or both. Also, old videos or photos may be helpful in showing how comfortable and happy the children are with you as a parent, to counteract allegations that the children were always afraid of you. Submitting the Evidence to the Court” 0 likes
“The person’s cognitive distortions get triggered, and all kinds of extreme thoughts may get generated, including allegations of abuse by you. People with BP tendencies seem to desire the elimination of the other parent as much as possible, stating that you’re a “threat” to the child for some reason, and you need supervised visitation or no contact. Since these types of orders are used only when there are serious abuse allegations, people with BP or NP traits often make very serious abuse allegations. This entire process may be totally unconscious, although some blamers are willing to make knowingly false statements to accomplish their desperate goals.” 0 likes
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