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Your Daughter's Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women

3.47  ·  Rating Details ·  76 Ratings  ·  21 Reviews
Your Daughter's Healthy Identity Starts With You

After psychoanalyst Joyce McFadden treated countless women who felt alone and isolated in experiences that they were unaware many other women were dealing with too, she began to ask what she could do to help them reach out to each other. The result was the launch of her Women's Realities Study in which she interviewed hundred
Hardcover, 240 pages
Published April 26th 2011 by St. Martin's Press
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Community Reviews

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Aug 15, 2011 Pumpkinbear rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
Okay, so it's time to stop referring to my seven-year-old daughter's genitals as her "girl bits." Honestly, this might take a bit of an anatomy review for me--I'm pretty sure there's something called a vulva down there with everything else, but as to its location...

I am completely on board with much of what McFadden claims should be part of parenting a daughter into healthy adulthood, emotional health and sexual health included. I'm going to start speaking with anatomical accuracy, I have always
Jul 19, 2011 Teresa rated it really liked it
McFadden, a psychoanalyst and a columnist for The Huffington Post, has summarized the data she's gathered from three of the questionnaires on her website, "". The three questionnaires were selected by participants based on their interest: Menstruation, masturbation and mother/daughter relationships. The fact that this website exists is wonderful-a forum for safely disclosing our most private experiences--but also kind of troubling--why is it so hard to share those experien ...more
Feb 19, 2012 Leslie rated it it was amazing
Not wanting to make the mistakes of my mother (and her mother before her) I saw this book on the library shelf and decided it's never too late to learn a thing or two! I wasn't raised to think that sex was something I was entitled to..that is good sex...and that maybe my mother's attitudes about this subject have trickled through my veins and have tainted my own experiences as well as formulating ideas in my daughter (she is now 21!)
So I read the book...I did have a small conversation with said
Molly Westerman
[I wrote a more detailed review at my feminist parenting & books blog First the Egg.]

In some ways, this book is awesome: it's a matter-of-fact, body-positive, non-prudish, empathetic plea to mothers to reach out to their daughters about sexuality. The author asks mothers to communicate openly, stop pretending they're not sexual beings themselves, think about their own values and experience, respect their own and their daughters' individuality, and refuse to play along with the misogyny that'
May 01, 2014 Maureen marked it as to-read
hoooha! this book is blowing my mind. prior to starting this book, i thought of myself as pretty proactive in regards to the climate and conversations i have w/ our daughter about her body and sexuality. this book is DEEP. if you blush easily it's probably even more important to read if you have daughters. prepare to think about mommy issues (meaning my own), and all the things that make up sexuality for women. here's a quote:

"over time the unintentionally shaming messages we mothers share with
Carrie Ann
May 14, 2014 Carrie Ann rated it it was ok
Shelves: gender, non-fiction
This would have been a far more interesting book if it just reproduced the questionnaires the author occasionally quotes from. Or it would have been a nice article highlighting ways that mother's attitudes towards sex and body image have a great influence on daughters. I would imagine any daughter already knows that their self esteem originates mostly from their relationship with their mother though maybe not in a scholarly way as laid out in this book in nearly 200 pages. Maybe someone who is n ...more
Aug 15, 2014 Heather rated it liked it
While I really wanted to like this book, and was excited to find that its focus areas were guided by those which hundreds of questionnaire respondents found most compelling, I find myself flipping back through having finished it for "insights" that could not be related as aphorisms. I'm afraid that the women who pick this up -with is bright pink cover, provocative title and bra image- are likely sex-positive feminists who are already talking openly with their mothers and/or daughters.
Carolyn Fitzpatrick
I liked the central message of this book - that it is important to not have "The Talk" with your daughter, but to make brief, subtle references to issues about sex and body image throughout her upbringing. But the way that this message was delivered made it difficult for me to connect. The book consists of stories taken from women in therapy, and each little vignette was murmuring in the background: don't let this happen to you. In short, hearing about how countless of women have screwed up thei ...more
Jul 09, 2014 Becky rated it it was amazing
Great information and insight.
Jul 22, 2012 Kimberly rated it it was amazing
This book presented ideas and conversations that I have never had with even one other person, let alone my mother or daughter. After reading this book, I understand some of those reasons and how to change that now. Many helpful reviews, especially one who mentioned embracing the ideas presented would be good for us as a society to embrace; ideas as how to approach theses topics (menstruation, masturbation, sexuality) with each other throughout our varied generations.
Jul 01, 2013 Lex rated it liked it
I mostly skimmed this book. The gist of the author's message is that women need to speak openly to their daughters about their sexuality, sexual health, and sex in general. A lot of the book seemed repetitive and I feel like the material could be easily compressed into a shorter article for the same effect. Interesting though...
Jun 07, 2014 Amy rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2014
Important reading for mothers of daughters.
Jan 17, 2012 Julia rated it really liked it
Very interesting. It was a compelling combination of personal narrative from online survey respondents, academic analysis and straightforward advice for what mothers (and women in general) can do to promote healthy sexual identities.
Carly Trask-Kuchta
May 25, 2014 Carly Trask-Kuchta rated it it was amazing
Such a powerful open letter to women. Applies to moms, people who want to be moms, future moms, and those who have been mothered. All females apply. This book has a mission, and the author successfully sold me on her mission.
Feb 12, 2012 Sharai rated it really liked it
I would recommend this book to mothers struggling to make a connection with their daughters and daughters trying to more clearly understand their mothers.
Jan 21, 2012 Lele rated it liked it
Good for the topic talks about how we as women are affected and affect by those around us at a young age particularly as we go thru adolescence
Julie Ehlers
Sep 12, 2012 Julie Ehlers rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: women-s-way
This was repetitive and lacking in specifics, and therefore not nearly as helpful as it could have been.
Apr 19, 2015 Sabra rated it really liked it
This is a book I am going to keep and reread a few times as my daughters grow.
Latishia James
Jul 07, 2011 Latishia James marked it as to-read
Have been hearing some good things about this book, excited to check it out.
Heidi Gerbick
Sep 25, 2013 Heidi Gerbick rated it it was amazing
loved it, made me think & change.
Feb 01, 2013 Keri rated it it was amazing
A Must Read!
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“We can continue to say to our girls as they grow into women, 'Come up here and scrunch under this glass ceiling with me.' Or we can say to them, 'Let me break this ceiling so when you come up here with me, we can stand up straight under the open sky.” 5 likes
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