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45th out of 54 books
—
44 voters
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are 'walking on eggshells' to avoid the next confrontation?
If the answer is 'yes,' someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and fami
...moreebook, 0 pages
Published
July 1st 2010
by New Harbinger Publications
(first published 1998)
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May 06, 2008
Steve
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Anyone who deals with difficult people
Shelves:
self-help
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a surprisingly common problem, and it often coexists with alcoholism and/or drug addiction. We all know people with BPD, although we may not know that scientific label. People with BPD are maddeningly difficult to deal with, irrational, manipulative, and often, downright mean. After I divorced my wife, who suffered from BPD (OK, the whole family suffered from her BPD), this book became my bible, my lifeline. My therapist recommended it, and I'll be foreve...more
This book helped to free me from an extremely painful relationship with a Borderline/Narcissist. It finally put a name on what the person was and what they were doing to me. My world is a better place because of this book.
I'm not 100% sure if I or the people I love are afflicted by Borderline Personality Disorder, although I have the deepest of suspicions to that effect. I started reading this book because I was worried about a parent. But as I got deeper and deeper into it, I found myself stopping every few pages to try imagining how what I'd just read applied to my grandparents, my parent, and then myself. I learned so much from that. Even if the people I love are not afflicted with BPD, I now feel I have more...more
I borrowed this book.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex, difficult to deal with and highly undiagnosed mental disease. While the idea of the unstable girlfriend or boyfriend is common enough to be a comedy (and horror) stereotype, this book explores a very real disorder that might be behind the actions. And unlike many books on the topic, it focuses on the supporters, caretakers, or those who have been scarred by the actions of a BPD person.
This book is very clear, easy to read and i...more
Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex, difficult to deal with and highly undiagnosed mental disease. While the idea of the unstable girlfriend or boyfriend is common enough to be a comedy (and horror) stereotype, this book explores a very real disorder that might be behind the actions. And unlike many books on the topic, it focuses on the supporters, caretakers, or those who have been scarred by the actions of a BPD person.
This book is very clear, easy to read and i...more
Read this trying to make sense of a past relationship that started and stopped over a dozen times in a few months. Roller coaster only begins to describe what was going on and not only did the relationship end poorly, I struggled trying to understand what had happened. One moment the world was fine, and the next everything was wrong and couldn't be fixed. I was alternately the best thing that had ever happened or the most colossal screwup. There was no in between and the switch could happen over...more
For a more thorough overview please read Seeking Myself's review, I agree with their critiques of the book completely.
This book may be useful for dealing with people with difficult or abusive behaviour, but it unfortunately conflates that behaviour with BPD and gives a very inaccurate picture of the disorder. It also encourages people to self-diagnose friends and family with BPD. The author even admits that she wrote the book because of a relationship with someone that she thought had BPD despit...more
This book may be useful for dealing with people with difficult or abusive behaviour, but it unfortunately conflates that behaviour with BPD and gives a very inaccurate picture of the disorder. It also encourages people to self-diagnose friends and family with BPD. The author even admits that she wrote the book because of a relationship with someone that she thought had BPD despit...more
This was a great snag off the used bookstore shelf for $4. Although I do not know someone personally suffering from BPD, or at least I think I don't -- maybe I do (it is extremely hard to diagnose speaking from an illness/disease spectrum) it has always been of high interest to me.
BPD is hard to diagnose because a lot of it's signs and symptoms can be that of someone not suffering from BPD but just an extremely vengeful egregious nature re: personality. People with BPD say or do things that will...more
BPD is hard to diagnose because a lot of it's signs and symptoms can be that of someone not suffering from BPD but just an extremely vengeful egregious nature re: personality. People with BPD say or do things that will...more
My heart stopped when I found this book on my now Ex boyfriend's bookshelf. He came home from work to find me reading it and the expression on his face was absolute shame and horror. It disappeared the next day when he left for work, but the damage was already done.
I DESPISED this book. It presents BPD as a burden on the lives of those people "unfortunate" enough to care for someone who has it. It focuses on "surviving the ordeal" rather than helping them find ways to cope with the fallout while...more
I DESPISED this book. It presents BPD as a burden on the lives of those people "unfortunate" enough to care for someone who has it. It focuses on "surviving the ordeal" rather than helping them find ways to cope with the fallout while...more
This book is great if you have a family member suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. So many of the BPD focus on the people who have the illness and how family members can bend over backwards to help them while suffering the most abuse, but this book is supportive, offers helpful advice, and is easy to read. And, if like me, you just need to take a break for a while, this book lets you know that not only is it okay, it's sometimes the right thing to do.
Sep 19, 2010
Elizabeth
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommended to Elizabeth by:
Dr. Sand
(I'm pretty sure) I don't know anyone with Borderline Personality Disorder, but I found this book helpful anyway. A lot of the stuff about the fact that you can't "fix" the other person (and also about boundary-setting, and trigger vs. cause) is broadly applicable.
***
I will caveat, however, that I'm not stoked about some of their language choices.
(1) They often alternate using "he" and "she" for generic examples, rather than going for a singular they or "he or she" (and whenever they do say "he...more
***
I will caveat, however, that I'm not stoked about some of their language choices.
(1) They often alternate using "he" and "she" for generic examples, rather than going for a singular they or "he or she" (and whenever they do say "he...more
It was a hard decision for me to give this three stars, because for me it was really more of a two. I think, though, that that's because as a psychologist, I already know quite a bit about borderline personality disorder and about the need to maintain one's boundaries. I was hoping this book would give me some new information and insight into ways to deal with difficult people, but for the most part, it didn't. That's me, though, and lots of other people seem to have found it helpful so I didn't...more
I have been there more than once. Sometimes answers about who a person is are staring you right in your face, your friends and family see it, but you don't, you don't want to accept it so you put on your rose colored glasses and jump head first into a nightmare. This book is not only for those in relationships, but parents with their children as well. When I read this book concerning a relationship that I was in I thought that I was reading my own life. When people that you are involved with iso...more
Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are 'walking on eggshells' to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is 'yes,' someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshellshas already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on...more
Having been in a relationship with a borderline for 10 years now, this book gave me a lot of insight and knowledge as to what was goIng on in my chaotic relationship and in my boyfriends head. I don't agree with the "coping" mechanisms for staying in a relationship with someone that suffers from this disorder. I don't think anyone should have to "cope" or deal With the abuse that comes along with it. I think more people should be encouraged to leave the relationship and seek a healthier lifestyl...more
As the child of a borderline mother, I found this particularly helpful in understanding the point of view of borderlines and for gaining some useful tactics on how to deal with them--the "spolier" here being that there's no particularly satisfying way, just some ways that work to a degree and others that you learn not even to try.
The authors are optomistic about borderlines being able to crawl out of their mental prison, once they recognize they've got a problem--and therein lies the problem fo...more
The authors are optomistic about borderlines being able to crawl out of their mental prison, once they recognize they've got a problem--and therein lies the problem fo...more
Apr 14, 2013
Brandon Halvorsen
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
growth-books
Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are 'walking on eggshells' to avoid the next confrontation?
If the answer is 'yes,' someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD).
This is an excellent resource for people in a relationship with someone with B.P.D. It will help them see things clearly, learn how to address the emotional chaos, understand why the person in their life is the way they a...more
If the answer is 'yes,' someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD).
This is an excellent resource for people in a relationship with someone with B.P.D. It will help them see things clearly, learn how to address the emotional chaos, understand why the person in their life is the way they a...more
This is my second or third time reading this book. It was originally recommended by my brother's girlfriend-at-the-time, who had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.
I find this book very helpful. It acknowledges the difficulty of dealing with mental illness that can be disguised or hidden, and it doesn't judge, but also doesn't excuse. It talks about distortions and altered reality and over-reactions and lies, and all the things that start to seem "normal" when you deal with some...more
I find this book very helpful. It acknowledges the difficulty of dealing with mental illness that can be disguised or hidden, and it doesn't judge, but also doesn't excuse. It talks about distortions and altered reality and over-reactions and lies, and all the things that start to seem "normal" when you deal with some...more
Very easy to read! Excellent Book to look at if you know someone; a friend, or family member who has borderline personality disorder; or if you enjoy reading about psychology and analysis...
Apr 03, 2009
Elizabeth
rated it
3 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
box-482-misc,
self-help-psych
from the library
not a very encouraging book because it doesn't really give anyone hope that their loved one can be cured....it does however help the partner or family member to survive
not a very encouraging book because it doesn't really give anyone hope that their loved one can be cured....it does however help the partner or family member to survive
This is an invaluable resource for anyone who loves someone with BPD. This book offers no magic cure and makes it clear that BPD is one of the hardest disorders to treat, because BPs believe that everyone else is the problem but them. It does, however, provide a road map toward understanding their behavior and it's origins, as well as strategies for dealing with the extreme highs, extreme lows/rages, and periods of silent treatment they impose on their loved ones. The book also makes it clear th...more
I don't want to go into personal detail, but this book has been an eye opener in many ways, not only about the mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, but about self-destructive, manipulative, aggressive, abusive behaviors and co-dependency in general.
The message is clear: You can't fix the other person, so don't go around playing God.
The author is compassionate, towards both the ill person and their relatives. It doesn't point fingers, it offers concrete help. I don't usually li...more
The message is clear: You can't fix the other person, so don't go around playing God.
The author is compassionate, towards both the ill person and their relatives. It doesn't point fingers, it offers concrete help. I don't usually li...more
Excellent book if you have someone in your life with BPD. I wish I would have read this years ago.
If you have anyone anywhere in your life travels who has Borderline Personality Disorder, you should read this book. It is an eye opener that validates so many assumed ideas about one who can cause havoc within relationships, but who is ultimately empty inside, despite the devastation they can cause. The lies and distortion campaigns against people they claim to love can be so devastating. On my list of menta health care, this one is a necessary read if you live your life in proximity to one who...more
May you never have to read this book. Helpful if you do.
I wish I had known about this book when I was in high school. It would have helped me a lot and taught me how to deal with my mother better. I don't know if she actually has BPD because she also fits a lot of the narcissistic characteristics as well. I'll probably never know for sure but she acts and reacts similar to a person with BPD. The techniques mentioned in this book are similar to the techniques that Al-Anon uses so I have already started using them in my life. There has been a huge chan...more
this was a great primer for bpd. I think it was useful for those who often have to cope with difficult personalities. i work with bpd daily and often find myself in conundrums the author describes. it does seem, though, that the author does treat the disorder as if it's something that anyone can diagnose and does do quite a bit of oversimplifying. all that being said I believe this is a great starter book with lots of very digestible information. a must read fir those who deal with difficult per...more
a very enlightening book if you live/d with someone who has borderline personality - someone who is a black and white all or nothing good or bad with no in between thinker who makes you feel like you are the problem... here you begin to realize just how much they have actually squashed your self esteem and that you are far less crazy than you thought you and/or others thought you were.
the reason for my 3 star rating is that i found this book to be wordy and difficult to maneuver. though i under...more
the reason for my 3 star rating is that i found this book to be wordy and difficult to maneuver. though i under...more
I'd heard this book recommended on various blogs and found the concept fascinating. How do you deal with people who are incapable of acting in an emotionally mature manner?
At first, I wasn't sure if "Borderline Personality Disorder" was a real thing. I even asked that of a friend with a PhD in psychology, saying it sounded like a made-up disorder. Apparently, it's more of a description than a diagnosis. You may know someone with BPD, but you're more likely to know their disorder by the non-clin...more
At first, I wasn't sure if "Borderline Personality Disorder" was a real thing. I even asked that of a friend with a PhD in psychology, saying it sounded like a made-up disorder. Apparently, it's more of a description than a diagnosis. You may know someone with BPD, but you're more likely to know their disorder by the non-clin...more
If you have recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and are looking for insight, DO NOT READ BEYOND CHAPTER THREE.
If you have recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and want a book for a loved one, do not give them anything other than chapters one, two, and three.
BPD is highly stigmatized. There are not many resources out there for those suffering with the disorder. It is a common occurrence to hear that you can only truly have BPD if you deny that yo...more
If you have recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and want a book for a loved one, do not give them anything other than chapters one, two, and three.
BPD is highly stigmatized. There are not many resources out there for those suffering with the disorder. It is a common occurrence to hear that you can only truly have BPD if you deny that yo...more
Naming of Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) was named from the fact that it lies at the borderline between neurosis and psychosis.
Characteristics of People with Borderline Personality Disorder
• Difficulty trusting others
• Talent for reading other people
• Alternating idealization and vilification of others
• Thinking in terms of black and white
• Fear of abandonment
• Feeling empty inside
• Bottomless pit of need
• Lacking a sense of self
• Depression
• Substance abus...more
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) was named from the fact that it lies at the borderline between neurosis and psychosis.
Characteristics of People with Borderline Personality Disorder
• Difficulty trusting others
• Talent for reading other people
• Alternating idealization and vilification of others
• Thinking in terms of black and white
• Fear of abandonment
• Feeling empty inside
• Bottomless pit of need
• Lacking a sense of self
• Depression
• Substance abus...more
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| What's new | 1 | 15 | Apr 15, 2009 02:31pm |
David Clark
May 07, 2008 10:41am
Mitzi
May 08, 2008 01:04pm
Jan 31, 2013 05:36am