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In The Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want
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In The Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want

4.16 of 5 stars 4.16  ·  rating details  ·  6,094 ratings  ·  239 reviews
You know where you want to be, but you have no clue how to get there. You know exactly what you want in life, but what you want is nowhere in sight. Perhaps your vision is unclear, your purpose still undefined. On top of it all, your relationships, particularly your romantic relationships, are failing. If these scenarios feel familiar way down in the deepest part of your g ...more
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Published December 1st 1998 by Simon & Schuster Audio (first published 1998)
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Don't let the title fool you--whether you have the love you want, are looking, or don't have any interest, the focus is on learning how to love yourself. I have read and re-read this book many, many times. It is hi-lighted and rabbit eared to the point that I would never be able to lend anyone my copy but it is one of the best self-help books I have ever encountered (and I have read a TON of them, believe me). I find Iyanla's voice very real and she seems to "walk the talk"-very genuine. I also ...more
"Accept the fact that in a relationship the only person you are dealing with is yourself. Your partner does nothing more than reveal your stuff to you."

"What you believe about yourself is reflected in the people with whom you choose to align yourself."

"Our relationships and the people in them are the tools God uses to give us a soul lift. God, the creator of our life, wants you to elevate the way you view yourself and treat yourself, and ultimately the way you treat others and allow them to trea
Phoenix Brown
This book saved my life! I am not saying that to be dramatic...this is my truth! I was in an abusive relationship (verbal, mental & physical) when I came across this book. It was a GODsend! This book taught me that my inner peace was more important than pretending to be a family. My sanity was more important then my son having a father in the house because if I stayed he may not have had either one of us. If you are in the meantime...This book is definitely for you! The love and appreciation ...more
This book is very helpful, especially if you are having relationship trouble. The author helps you to look at your life from an interesting perspective. She uses the metaphor of moving up through the floors of a house, needing to take care of each level before moving on to the next. The basement is where you are miserable and hopefully realize that things need to change. As you move up the floors, you need more self-love and appreciation, more spiritality, more honesty, etc. I found this book to ...more
The title really says it all, but Vanzant gets to the heart of the matter by using personal experience and the trials of others to show that loving yourself enough to make difficult personal choices is where love and joy abound. I often found myself in a myriad of emotions reading this book, and abandoned it for some time before picking it up again. I recommend this read to anyone looking to discover real change through learning the secret of truly loving yourself and others.
Vonda Roark-martinez
I read this book the first time in 1998, I'd taken a self prescribed sabbatical from dating to embark on a journey of self discovery. In The Meantime, became my doctrine my handbook to learning who I was, what I needed/deserved and how to stop sacrificing myself for the sake of others.

Four years after I had turned the last page and closed the book from a second read, I met and married the love of my life, my truest life partner, my husband.

This book taught me about me that I needed to be seilfi
Yvonne Riggs
Must read for women ages 22 & Up. If you are in the reflecting stages of you life wondering where your relationships went wrong, this is for you. Never give up on love. Your meantime is for a reason.

I bought ever copy at a local bookstore and gave it out to friends to read. I highly recommend reading this.
Cece Henry-lewis
As I read this book I cried and cried as I realized I didn't love myself at all. And by not loving me I was not equipped to love anyone or receive love. This book has helped me to realize that the best love there is, is self love. I am ready to work on me.
Another phenomenal read from Ms. Vanzant. I love her writing style and for me this is one of my favorite self-help books. In a nutshell it really is about loving yourself. When you love yourself everything else falls into place. When you love yourself you become open to the abundance that the Universe has to give. I love it, love it, love it! As with most of her writings I can never say that I've finished reading the book because my personal growth journey leads me to different places at differe ...more
I have upgraded my rating from four to five stars. Not because of the book itself, but because of how I feel about myself after having read the book, which I suppose is a comment on the book itself. I feel bigger, brighter, more centered, having found myself first, but then read the book like someone wandering a slightly overgrown path, discovering the truth in the words and trampling the grasses to make the truth more permanent, more prominent in my life.

I loved the analogy of moving through a
I love this book! I felt like she was my mentor speaking to me in a spunky yet compassionate manner (just like I need- a soul sister!) She painted a mental picture for me, that helped me to visualize and recognize the different levels I am going to have to work through and acknowledge; in order to fully love my self and my past. This book helped me go lighter on myself in terms of feeling like, I need to change all at once, or that I am bad for my behavior in relationships at times. I felt suppo ...more
Amelia Wise
This is a book I can see myself picking up again and again when I'm unclear or unsure of life's trials and tribulations. While I think that Vanzant has a great process of getting yourself to a better place in life, I think I might cast aside some of the advice she gives for the "little things" in life. The way in which she compares cleaning yourself up spiritually and emotionally to cleaning out your "house" is brilliant. So simple, yet so true. I don't think there's a one size fits all approach ...more
Susan Burke
Sometimes we come to a time which may just be the "meantime" of our lives. Iyanla in all her brilliance paints a clear and undeniable picture of just what being "In the Meantime" looks and feels like. She is poignant yet stern in her no-nonsense approach, leaving no stone unturned right down to the actually birthing of our lives having some sort of impact or meaning. Yes, how we actually entered the world, what kind of birth did we endure and how were we taught for the first crucial years of our ...more
Michelle Wood
This is one of my ALL time favorite books. That is saying something because I read quite a few books! I read this back in the 90s when I was in my 20s and I absolutely loved it. It was one of the first books that made me go into myself and be more self-aware. It was also written so simply that I felt any1 at any reading level could understand the concepts at what she was trying to get across. It also helped me to know that while I am single there is always plenty of self-work that I can do becom ...more
Milestone Jazz
I would recommend this book to anyone that feels like they can't start over. I would definately recommend this book to someone who is trying to find there place in this world. It's a must read...

Blair Hodgkinson
I listened to the abridged audio book version from Simon and Schuster/Audible. Like many such self-improvement books, there's much here that is true, if a little obvious, but when you are taking the time to put yourself together in a time of transition, sometimes it's good to review some of these ideas. The book was recommended to me and was worth my time, even if I found the book's concentration on finding a lasting and healthy love relationship a little off target for my needs right now. Still ...more
Blanca Hindle
In The Meantime is one of the few self help books I have ever read. Honestly, the first time around I didn't even finish it when I began it roughly four years ago. I liked the message well enough but at one point I just felt like there were other things out there that I preferred reading to this.

Last Sunday, I saw it on my book shelf as I was taking out the book I was going to start to head towards my 75 book goal and thought it may be a good thing to pick up again. What I didn't anticipate is t
Anthony Tenaglier
I feel like I am in the "meantime" right now. Not only with my relationships, but in other aspects of my life with work and what not. I enjoyed the use of the levels of a house representing the levels of love and respective meanings. Not only is it a good habit to clean your house and rearrange the furniture to your liking, but also a good habit to cleanse and rearrange your emotions to stay healthy!
Lerato Sebanyoni
Loved the book. Till today I still draw from the message of the book that one has got to love oneself in the space between your comfort zone and your dream come true. I have since loved myself through bad financial times. Emotionally and spiritually challenging times and I have loved myself through the best of times. In all of it God is alive and present.

Love the book.
September Dee
A great book on understanding relationships, what makes them succeed and what makes them fail. How to come out of a bad relationship and not make the same mistakes. It is inspiring and great advice for anyone. It isn't always easy to make the right decisions and this book helps in the though processes involved through her own story and those of others as well.
Barbora Muzikant
Even though I'm an atheist I enjoyed reading this book immensely. I have found myself in many descriptions thinking he's, this is what I do! It made me to pause and think about myself. And it also showed me a different perspective on life. I recommend this to anyone who wishes to improve, I will be re-reading some parts many times over I'm sure.
Courtney Brooks
Very great read..that helped me to get through my Meantime! I will def read this book again just to be reminded that the meantime is just temporary. She has a great way of connecting with the spirit and making you feel at peace with each read.
I re-read this book whenever I'm going through a major life transition. It reminds me of who I am and more importantly who I am not. The journal is a must have especially when ending or entering a relationship.
I loved this book I have loaned it out several times. she is a great aurthor and I intend on reading more of her books........ truly inspiring and truly life changing..... esp after my divorce.....
Marilyn K. Timmons
Amazing book

This book has really begun to teach me how to love myself and not to be so dependent on someone else ...mainly a validate me as a woman
Annmarie Kostyk
This is the third time I've read this book. It's great when you're at a crossroads in anything in your life. She reminds you that it all starts and ends with yourself.
Vanessa Thompson
This is a self help book, which you can never finish the read. It is always used as a guide. I enjoyed the book, cd and other writing material by this writer.
Cristina Oliveras
This book saved my relationship and it saved me. Regardless where you are in life and love, this book brings you to the depths of understanding and grasping self love. It revealed so many things about myself that I needed to face. It helps you understand that it is you that is responsible for how you feel. Your emotions are neutral and it is you and your experience that gives a name to how you feel. Relationships are a mirror of what you give out to your external energy. My children will learn t ...more
Feather Snowglitter
Read this book, I must say a few things about what she said it's true, and you can learn from it if you want to.
And there are some good tips you can add into your life. I read it not because I have relationship troubles, yes I'm a divorcee, but my divorce was loooong way back before I even know about this book. Could this book help me in my relationship if I read it back then? I think it will give me some peace of mind that the decision that I've made it's the right one.
Back then I have to strug
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In Peace From Broken Pieces New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant she recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learnedfrom the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughters 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day. Like a phoenix ri ...more
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“You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.” 173 likes
“You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear, or a combination of them all.” 158 likes
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