The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend with
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The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend with

3.97 of 5 stars 3.97  ·  rating details  ·  216 ratings  ·  27 reviews
No one has influenced you in the way your mother has. The Mom Factor Workbook helps you identify areas that need reshaping, make choices for personal change, and establish a balanced, mature relationship with your mother today.
ebook, 256 pages
Published September 1st 2009 by Zondervan (first published 1996)
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I learned many things about myself and my style of parenting. I also saw my mother and the effect of her parenting style on me and therefore the effect my parenting style has had on my four children. I am also hoping this book will be helpful in relating in a better way to my children. As I said with the first book listed I was a broken child raising children. I did not know how to heal the broken places but was too afraid to ask for help from authority figures because of my fear of authority. A...more
Kit Fry
I really liked boundaries. This one is not nearly as we'll written. He tries to apply anecdotes to situations that aren't so clearly applicable, and he doesn't work to discuss or justify the connection. It felt rushed and slapped together.

However, it is still a useful book for learning how to adjust your perspective on your relationship with your parents. Even though it is a mom book, I think it is just as applicable to some dad issues as well.

Also a lot of the biblical justification was unnece...more
Shawna Ridgley
Ugh... this book has important information. But I didn't like reading it! As a mom I am hyperaware of how my actions will have long-range effects on my children. As if I didn't have enough to worry about--I read this book and now I keep looking at different behaviors my kids display and think--is that because of me? Is that because I didn't ____________?

This book stereotypes different mothering styles and breaks each of those styles down and gives you insights on how that mothering style can ef...more
I learned so much about why I am the way I am from this book. If you are even kind of thinking about reading this book please do; you will not regret it.
This book did me more good than thousands of dollars worth of therapy.
Diane Dacko
I believe this book helped me understand MY impact on my children based in the influence of parenting I had while growing up. It definitely gave me more insight to my relationship with my mother and certain qualities I can now understand better. I think this book had a lot of great personal stories to build off of, although I felt that the good doctor came across a bit all knowing some times. As another reviewer has said, the fathers role has probably been a piece that was absent in this book. B...more
It informs one about the different types of mothers and what is good and bad in them and how that affects one's ability in positve and negative ways of relating to others and how one sees or doesn't, themselves. One can be affected by their own Mom or by a Mother-n-Law, or a friends Mom. This book helped me understand where my own Mom was coming from in her child-raising techniques and also my Mother-n-laws techniques with her son, and the book helped me to face some techniques in my raising of...more
Note: This book was written by both Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

I loved this book! Plus, my boys have both read it, too.

Here's a synopsis: No One has influenced the person you are today more than your mother.

The way she handled your needs as a child has shaped your worldview, your relationships, your marriage, your career, your self-image, and your life. You'll find a hopeful, realistic, and empowering approach to identifying your unmet mothering needs and filling them in healthy, lif...more
Jennifer B
A sobering look at the relationship I have with my mother....great insight on how to invest in this relationship in ways that are healthy for both of us!
Definitely a worthwhile read for those looking to improve their relationship with their mom. I learned a lot!
Did this in a group & just wasn't what we were hoping it to be.
Angie Butcher
This was an okay book. It had some good insights on our relationships with our Moms and how it affects us. But, overall it seemed incomplete. It bothered me that he seemed to be saying that many of our personality/character issues can be traced back to our mothers. Although he did reference Fathers a few times, it still felt one sided. I don't know that Moms are that much involved in the character building. But, I did get some good insights and it duplicated a lot of things I learned in counseli...more
I read this book while I was pregnant with Sean and it really opened my eyes to my mom. After reading this book, it gave me more compassion and love for my mom, and my relationship changed with her for the better from here. I saw her through eyes of compassion that I did not have before, and gained a new respect for her.

I held my mom to a high standard that no one could meet. I learned to love my mom where she was.
I bought this not realizing that it is an abridged recording, something I would not have purchased under normal circumstances. As I have started listening, I am compelled to go & buy the unabridged book, as I think it will prove to be enlightening. The Christian basis is one of the things that drew me to it, and I'm finding that it provides an excellent foundation on which to build.
Lisa Beth
I didn't really see much of my mom in this. My mom was far more balanced than any of these examples. The only thing my mom did to injure us was to pass away of breast cancer before we were ready. However, I found this to be an interesting read none the less.
J Campbell
What a great book, met the author at Saddleback Church, and read the book on the way home on the airplane, I couldn't put it down. Really helps to see the dynamics of my own Mom and my relationship and how I can be a good Mom to the 2 children I have.
Wannie Michelmann
Loads of troubles and problems with all the mother profiles in the book. I can identify with so many after observing my own upbringing. The book covers healing at the end of each mother profile and it had worked magic for me.
Renee Reynolds
This book contains insightful, helpful information for understanding our mothers and how her mothering contributes to our character, personality, values, and yes, our parenting.
Best to work through this book in a group, with a leader/leaders who have been through the book successfully.
Not as good as I thought it would be though helped illustrate and explain some things I've seen in myself
Mary Ann
I took Henry Cloud's class at IBS but I was pregnant and sick so I don't remember a whole lot:(
Good. Not great but good enough to read along with going to counseling.
Must read for everyone who is a mom, has a mom or wants to be a mom...
Jan V
borrowed from a friend. great read. maybe I will read this one again.
I just love these authors. I love the scripture back up.
Winkipinki Fan
Jun 29, 2007 Winkipinki Fan rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: every parent
will post when i'm done reading it.
Great book. Eye-opening.
Beau Brown
Beau Brown marked it as to-read
Sep 16, 2014
Kate marked it as to-read
Sep 07, 2014
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public semina...more
More about Henry Cloud...
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Boundaries in Dating Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

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“Structuring our feelings helps add reality to them. In fact, para-doxically, many of the invalidating things that people do are attempts to structure us. But the time for structuring is after validation. After our feelings have been validated, we can understand them and put them into perspective.” 0 likes
“Our life is our own now, and we alone are accountable for its outcome: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”6 Thus, your injured parts need the mothering relationship but not the mothering responsibility.” 0 likes
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